


Who's the Man

by JaneShadow



Category: She's the Man (2006), Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, College AU, F/F, Gender swaps, Soccer AU, Twelfth Night - Freeform, all the gender swaps, she's the man - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 52,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22060561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneShadow/pseuds/JaneShadow
Summary: Kara Danvers is in the middle of a successful junior year at Cornwall U. A prominant soccer star, Kara expects this season might be her chance at being scouted for a pro career. Unfortunately, her twin brother Alex throws a wrench in things when he asks Kara to "twin-swap" so he won't fail out at his own college, Illyria. Add one more terrible twist in Kara's life: her soccer team has just been cut.Fortunately, it looks like Kara is in luck when she (or "Alex") earns a spot on the Illyria soccer team. She can continue pretending to be her brother for two weeks, right? That should be easy enough, if she can handle the affections of her new classmate Lena Luthor. Who, by the way, is being pursued by James Orsino... the captain of Kara's new soccer team.One thing is for certain; Alex will be in for more than one big surprise when he returns to his life.Of course this is an homage to She's the Man, which is an homage to Twelfth Night.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 339
Kudos: 639





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A few people have asked for images of Kara, Alex, and Janessa Winn. I used a face app to do a few gender swaps for fun. They aren't fantastic but what can you expect from a free app?  
> If you're interested/need visuals, here's the Pinterest board: https://pin.it/4sfcab2ndevnka

"You aren't seriously leaving?" Kara Danvers asked, following her twin brother Alexander around their apartment. “I mean, you’re totally kidding. You have classes, and grades, and other responsibilities. You know, like the rest of us? And by that I mean me, someone who is actually trying to graduate college.”

Alexander set down his guitar case and ran his fingers through his shaggy blonde hair with an exasperated sigh. “Come on, Kar, you know this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! I can go to college, anytime, but this might be my only shot to make it big, and to play in London. I can get my grades back up… probably. Not all of us are cut-out for school, like you.”

She cast him a skeptical glare. “You could be ‘cut-out’ for college, if you ever went to class.”

“Well then,” he grinned, “sounds like no one will notice there’s anything different when I’m not there for the next two weeks.”

“Wait, two weeks? You're going to be gone for two weeks?” Kara repeated.

Alexander shrugged and slung his duffle bag over his shoulder, then grabbed his guitar case and a backpack. “I gotta go, sis’. My chariot to fame awaits!” He opened the front door to reveal an airport shuttle parked outside.

“Alex, stop.”

He turned back from the doorway, his blue eyes wide with expectation. “Yeah?”

“How close are you to failing, anyway?”

Alexander flashed her the most charming smile he could manage. It was cute to everyone else, but Kara was immune to it as if she were looking at her own face in the mirror. His expression fell at the sight of her seriousness. “Well… close. But I bet I won’t fail, if you did one tiny little twin-swap for me, just once, and showed up in my hardest class?”

Kara groaned. “Are you serious? We haven’t done that bullshit since high school.”

"It's ok then, you don't have to. I'm sure I could do summer school or some extra credit, somewhere."

“Ugh. We both know that will never happen. You are so hopeless." Kara huffed. "Fine, but I’m not missing any of my classes at Cornwall U, and I’m definitely not missing soccer try-outs. Which class do I need to show up for?”

“All… of them?”

Kara’s golden eyebrows jolted upward in surprise. “Alex! You are the worst brother in history.”

“I know, I know. I really owe you! I promise I will make this up to you as soon as I get back, seriously.”

A double honk came from the shuttle, beckoning Alex to hurry up.

“E-mail me your schedule.” Kara said, shaking her head.

“I will. I owe you, for real. I won’t forget this, not even when I’m famous!” Alex sang the last word, dragging it out in an operatic voice. He blew a kiss to Kara, and then stepped out the door. 

Kara blew out a long breath through her teeth. “How is it possible that I have the same genes as such a selfish, irresponsible… punk?” she mumbled to herself, heading down the hallway to his bedroom. She had already made the assumption in her mind that he left a mess for her to clean up, and unfortunately, she wasn't surprised when she opened the door. The smell alone was indication that she wouldn't like what she found, buried underneath the random piles of dirty laundry, magazines, and record albums.

She had given up on trying to change her brother, years ago. In high school, Kara's "twin-swap" was the only reason he hadn't failed basic courses and dropped out, altogether. They had always shared identical physical traits; thick blonde hair, pale blue eyes, defined jaws, and less than an inch of height difference. Due to Kara’s passion for soccer and rigorous exercise, she was muscular, and fit into her brother’s clothes; even as a teen. With a baggy hoodie on and her hair tucked under a hat, no one could tell them apart. So they developed a "system" where she would sit in his classes and turn in A+ work on his behalf to keep him afloat, at least once a semester. Their parents were so angry when they found out, they put the twins on a strict curfew. 

After that, Kara had vowed to her parents that she would only clean up his messes, not prevent them. But Jeremiah and Eliza Danvers were distracted by their own problems: such as their messy, on-going separation and impending divorce. Besides, they also wanted Alexander to graduate college, and he wasn’t going to do that without some serious help.

Kara checked her watch; 3 hours until she needed to be at the Cornwall soccer field. 

"Well, brother," Kara muttered, picking up a few hoodies, shorts, and track pants from the floor, "looks like I have enough time to wash your nasty clothes before I have to wear them." She crinkled her nose as she walked to the laundry room, kicking the door shut behind her.

She would deal with the rest of his disgusting bedroom later, and hoped it wouldn't start growing mold or a rat-king, in the meantime.

Once the washing machine was running (with doubled detergent), Kara grabbed her planner and penciled in a few days she might be able to attend class at her brother's school, Illyria. At the bottom of the weekly layout page she wrote "Alex owes me Paramore tickets" then took a picture with her phone and texted it to him. 

Satisfied with her plans, Kara went to make herself a sandwich and protein shake, before her evening pre-tryout practice session.

\-----

The Cornwall soccer tryouts were a formality, at this point. Kara had been a starter for two years, and led the league in assists as a sophomore. She wouldn’t say it outloud, but she knew she had a shot at going pro, if she kept up her streaks into junior year.

“Glutton for punishment, huh, Danvers?” Janessa Winn said, batting her naturally lush eyelashes as the two of them sauntered onto the field. Winn's wavy black hair was pulled into a ponytail with a glittery red ribbon that sparkled under the night game lights.

“Hey, I gotta be ready for tryouts!” Kara threw up her hands in an exaggerated shrug.

Winn made a show of rolling her eyes before jogging ahead. She took her place in front of the goal and tossed a ball to Kara. “You are the last person who needs to be here, tonight. You should go rest your muscles, or something.”

“Don’t flatter me just because we’re BFFs. I still need the practice, I’ll just rest tomorrow.” Kara said. She bounced the ball off her chest and then burst forward to head-butt it back toward Winn. 

A few other players started coming out to the field after them, filling in to warm-up. Most of them were starters from the year prior, but Kara spotted a few new faces.

As if reading her mind, Winn came closer and nodded her chin toward the girls. “You think one of them is going to take your place, is that it? Fat chance. You’re the best player on this team.”

Kara scoffed. “I might be the best in midfield, but not the best, by far.”

“Well you will be, this year. You’re the only one who drilled all summer and you are in top shape, now. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re offered a pro contract before the season ends.”

“If only scouts cared about Cornwall, maybe.” 

Winn shook her head. "We both know they'll come to any school, if there's talent. Don't be an idiot."

Kara pursed her lips at the notion; it seemed ripe for disappointment. "Go warm up, would ya?"

Winn waved her hands dismissively as she returned to the goal.

Kara tossed the ball a few feet away to give herself lead, then kicked the ball perfectly square with her insole. It sailed upward as if on a string and arched above Winn’s reach, swooshing against the net of the goal.

“Hey!” Winn shouted. “You didn’t say you were ready to start taking shots!” she ran to fetch the ball from the goal.

“Yeah well I didn’t know I needed to tell you when to start goaltending.” Kara flashed her best friend a playful grin. Their trash talk was just getting started.

A man’s voice came from the side of the field. “Can I get all of you over here, please?”

Kara turned to see the assistant coach, Dan Fogle, waving his hands in a circular motion to summon them. There was a clipboard at his feet, but he was wearing a suit and tie, not at all dressed for practice. Kara and Winn shared a look as they jogged to the side of the field and joined the other girls in a semi-circle around Coach Dan.

“Listen, girls. There’s no easy way to say this.” Dan said, rubbing his hands together. “I’ve been in meetings all day long trying to advocate on behalf of the team but… look, soccer hasn’t been paying bills for the school in the past three years, and the board has finally had it. I think they’re idiots, you know? They have to keep the lights on, and apparently they also have to sink more money into the stupid football budget, which is probably the biggest problem of all.”

The girls had already began to whisper and share glances of surprise with one another, not waiting for him to finish.

“What exactly are you saying, coach?” Winn spoke up.

“Right. Yeah.” Dan sighed. “I won’t beat around the bush. Cornwall is cutting women’s soccer.”

A few of the girls began yelling over each other, and he waved his hands to quiet them.

“You mean next year, right?” Frost, one of the starting forwards, shouted from Kara’s right. “You mean they are cutting the team after this season, right?”

Dan shook his head. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. There’s nothing that anyone can do, believe me, we tried. Coach Jerry is still in there, signing some paperwork. He wanted me to come out and tell you immediately so that you would get the news before the rest of the school heard.”

His face was red and Kara knew it must be eating him up to tell them this. She studied his eyes and realized it almost looked as if he had been crying.

“Is there anything you need?” Kara asked. “Will you lose your job?”

He looked at her with a morose smile. “Thank you, Danvers. I appreciate that. I will be okay, they are going to let me stay on staff as a track coach part-time until I find something else. I know this feels hopeless, ladies, but maybe it will only be for the year. If they see enough momentum and uproar, they might consider bringing it back.”

Kara doubted it, and judging by the skepticism on every other girl’s face, they doubted it, as well.

They asked Dan a few more questions about the specifics, and he said as much as he could explain. But the reality was that all of them were only wondering one thing that no one had an answer for: what were they going to do, now?

When he went back inside to finish his meeting, Kara and Winn didn’t bother returning to the field. They walked together, their feet dragging. 

“What a fucking joke.” Winn said, kicking at the dirt path between the field and the parking lot. “The only reason I’m even at this school is because of my soccer scholarship. I suppose they are going to stop paying my tuition? This is bullshit.”

“We don’t know that, yet. They probably have a contract to let you graduate. Maybe your parents’ lawyers can check that out.”

Winn shoved her hands into the pockets of her shorts. “My parents don’t have lawyers.”

"Well, my parents' lawyers, maybe?"

"No, thanks."

Kara didn’t press, it was uncomfortable enough. She thought it might be something to bring up at a later time. 

"Do you wanna come over and get drunk?" Winn asked.

Kara grimaced. "Kinda, but I shouldn't. I have some family stuff to deal with."

"Sounds like all the more reason you should be getting drunk."

Kara shook her head. They had reached the parking lot and we're near Winn's car, a mid-2000s Subaru.

"Are you sure you don't want to come over?" Winn asked. "We don't even have to drink. I just think this hasn't hit you yet and I hate for you to be alone when it does. Are you even okay?"

"Yeah. I guess. I just… I have to figure out what to do, you know? I can’t just sit on this, I need to come up with a solution, or something.”

Winn smiled and reached out to pat Kara on the shoulder. “It figures that you would handle it, that way. Go be productive, and I’ll get wasted. We’ll see who solves this shit, first.”

With their separate plans resolved, Kara turned and got into her own car, a Prius. She put her music on loud and drove the few miles home on autopilot, deep in thought. 

The minute she arrived back in her apartment, she checked her email; sure enough, Alexander had sent her the link to his school blackboard account with his schedule and grades. She resisted the temptation to see how awful he was doing in class, knowing it would only upset her more. Kara deleted her soccer appointments from her calendar app, then dragged Alexander’s classes into the now-empty spaces. 

A text alert popped into the screen; Winn. 

Wanna try out for a community team, tomorrow?

Kara responded: No thanks. I’m going to help my brother with school and get that out of the way. I’ll think about soccer again when that’s done.

Winn replied with only K.

Kara got Alexander’s clothes from the dryer and set them out on her bed, for morning. She also pilfered a bottle of cologne and the cleanest beanie she could find. She set her alarm for 6am to give herself extra time to get ready as a convincing boy. For good measure, she fired off a text to Alexander.

Thanks for sending the blackboard, I’m going into 3 of your classes tomorrow. You owe me.

Without waiting for his reply, she went to sleep.

______________

It had been two, or maybe three years since Kara dressed as her brother, but she hadn’t forgotten her little methods and tests. Once she was satisfied with her look, she took a selfie and posted it on Snapchat.

Stole my sister’s phone, good morning ladies what’s up? She captioned it, then ate breakfast while she waited for the responses.

Her phone vibrated all through her meal, but Kara ignored it, reading the newspaper. By the time she was done with her waffles, she checked; 16 notifications. Not a single one of them was doubt, in fact, all the messages were from Kara’s various “friends” trying to get contact details for Alexander. 

Well, almost all the messages. 

There was one outlier from “ElizaDanvers71” saying: Alexander. It would be nice to hear from you sometime.

Kara had forgotten that her mother followed her on Snapchat, and she blushed at the thought. Now her mom would know what she was up to.

Except, her mom had seen the picture and had supposedly fallen for it, too. There was no way that their own mother couldn’t tell them apart, right? Kara went to the bathroom, checking herself again in the mirror. The black CG beanie concealed her hair entirely, except for a deliberate tuft of blonde that protruded over her forehead. The red Illyria sweatshirt hung off her shoulders, making her look more muscular. She even had Alex’s facial expressions down; a constant pout to make her face angular and attract attention to her jaw. 

Kara looked at her mother’s message again and shook her head in disbelief. Maybe her mom was messing with her, trying to make sure that they weren’t up to one of their twin-swap tricks, again. 

After a moment of contemplating, Kara sent a benign reply: My phone is broken, Kara said I can use hers for a few weeks.

She rubbed her sweating palms on her/Alex’s jeans while waiting for the reply.

Do you need money for a new one? Came the response.

Kara’s jaw dropped wide open. She stared at her screen in shock. The fact was, her mother never offered her money, she only did that… for Alexander.

“Wow, mom,” she said, shoving her phone in the pocket of her baggy jeans. “I guess I’m not the only one who has to solve everything for poor little Alex.” The irony wasn’t lost on her as she hopped into her car and headed for the Illyria campus.


	2. Chapter 2

___________

Before she even entered the main campus promenade, Kara knew why Alex had picked this college instead of Cornwall.

For starters, there was a guy passed out on a curb, shirtless, with numbers drawn on him in sharpie.

It was a Wednesday morning… and that was just the parking lot.

The debauchery of excessive liberal artiness escalated from there, as she walked across the student hub. Kara wasn't sure if she was witnessing a performance piece or a bad acid trip when she passed two people dancing in animal costumes. She stared at the map on her phone, avoiding eye contact with anyone, until she safely entered the normal (seeming) Luthor Building for Business. It was a three story building of metal and windows that looked like it had been lifted out of a downtown city and dropped into the center of the artsy college. The rest of Illyria was like a Burning Man festival compared to this place. Alex's class was on the first floor, which seemed devoid of people as Kara wandered through.

"Economics 101 is my hardest class." Kara mumbled, reading aloud the email from Alex as she walked toward the classroom. She began to hammer out a sarcastic reply with both thumbs. "Well, brother, maybe you should have taken it as a freshman like everyone-" 

"Oops, excuse me."

Kara was stopped short as a set of legs in a black pencil skirt appeared in the space just beyond her phone screen.

"Oh, sorry!" Kara exclaimed. "I wasn't paying attention to…" she looked up to see the stranger in the eye; stunning green eyes, to be exact. Beyond those emeralds was pale flawless skin and bright red lips open in an alarmed expression. The girl’s face was surrounded by dark brown hair in a meticulous bun, brushed back and slicked tight; the type Kara never had the patience for.

The girl’s face twisted into confusion, her brow furrowing. “Wait, you’re Alexander Danvers, aren’t you?”

Kara cringed before she could stop herself. She glanced down to check her clothes and confirm that yep, that’s who she was supposed to be. She cleared her throat, trying to remember, had she used her Alex-voice? She dropped it a few octaves, just to be sure. “Oh uh… of course I am, yah. Doy.”

“Doy?” The girl grimaced but extended her hand. “Well, it’s great to finally meet you. I’m Lena.”

They shook hands and Kara pulled back to offer her fist. 

“Pound it!” Kara shouted. It felt like something Alex would do.

Lena stared at the fist with skepticism, then bumped her knuckles with zero effort. “Uh, yes. Anyway, I’m so glad to meet you. You’re in my entrepreneurial project team, but you haven’t been to class in… ever. Are you here to drop? If you drop the class, I can remove you from the project.”

Kara pushed out a long breath. “Oh, boy. That must be a huge let-down for you and the rest of the team.”

“It’s just me.” Lena said. “We are the only two people on the team. You, and I.”

“Oh. Well, then I am especially sorry. I didn’t mean to miss so much class, I was…”

Lena raised her eyebrows, intrigued by the answer that was about to come.

Kara stuttered. “I w-was, uh, well, I didn’t actually know I was enrolled, here.”

“Really?” Lena said, her tone incredulous. “How is that possible? Surely you would’ve seen the few dozen emails, from me, detailing your part in the group project.”

“Uh, I wish I did, but they mixed up my contact info with my twin br-my twin sister’s. That’s why I didn’t know I was enrolled here, yeah. My twin sister and I got mixed up. It happens all of the time!”

Lena squinted, her face retaining the skepticism she had been wearing for a solid minute. “Okay, then.” she paused, seeming to accept the lie with reservation. “So you are going to stay in the class, and you are going to participate in the business project?”

“Yup!” Kara exclaimed, then kicked herself for sounding so enthusiastic. She was going to have to work on being less-excited about school or no one would believe she was Alex.

“Great.” Lena checked her wrist for the time from her rose gold Apple watch. “Well then, let’s go review my binders, and I’ll try to catch you up before class starts. We have ten minutes. I think I can email you the rest." She hoisted her black laptop bag higher on her shoulder and turned to go through a nearby doorway.

Kara sighed with relief at her ability to blunder through that uncomfortable interaction, then followed Lena into the classroom.

The room reminded Kara of some kind of industrial woodshop, with furniture from Ikea. It was nothing like the traditional lecture halls she was used to at Cornwall, by far. Huge 2-story glass windows lined one side of the room, and the other side was a wall covered in white board paint. The chairs and tables were scrambled in random groupings, topped with books, binders, and art supplies in various stages. 

Kara was starting to think that stepping into her brother's place was going to be a lot more involved than simply turning in a few essays.

Lena beelined for a well-organized table with two chairs and began pulling from a file box. Kara followed, careful to remember to slouch her shoulders and make a pouty face as she stood.

"This is our strategy binder." Lena said, pulling out a blue and red booklet and shoving it into Kara's hands. "That is our most-sensitive item. Do you understand SWOT analysis?"

Kara was too slow to answer.

"It doesn't matter. I'll walk you through it. Just make sure that you don't let anyone see the contents of that binder, because it has all the trade secrets of our company, and our rivals."

"Cool. Uh…" Kara glanced at the binder. It said ILLIAD on the cover. "Who are our rivals?"

"The other student-run companies. Don't worry, we are far in the lead." Lena grinned with a natural confidence.

"Well, obviously you're the one to thank for that. Gees. I'm so sorry I've left you in this position to do all the work, alone. I'll really try to make it up to you." Kara flipped through the pages of the binder. She was half-tempted to confess, then and there, that she was an excellent student and project partner. Why should she look like the asshole?

"You can't help it, if you really didn't know you were enrolled. It's a good thing we still have six weeks to wrap this up!"

"Six weeks, huh?" Kara frowned. "I kinda have a… thing, I gotta do, in two weeks."

She shut the binder and saw obvious disappointment spreading over Lena's face. Kara wasn't sure if this was strike three, or strike one thousand against her.

"So uh," Kara continued, "yeah it's a dentist appointment. So I might miss class, that morning. That one morning, in two weeks. Can you take notes for me on that day? Catch me up, that afternoon, ya know?"

The optimism returned in Lena's countenance. "Oh, sure. That's no big deal. I take complete notes, every class. Now let me show you our seven part strategy to success; it's my original marketing theory."

Kara listened as Lena talked through another binder, explaining a complex model she had devised for determining profit and market share. The other students began to trickle in for the start of class, and Kara couldn't help but notice one in particular was studying them, from the moment he passed through the doorway. He took his seat, positioned directly behind Lena, and he stared at her back for several minutes. 

"Is this too complicated?" Lena asked, tilting her head forward. "You look lost. I'm rushing it, sorry. I should wait until we have more time, and then I can explain it with more thorough-"

"No, no, I'm getting it. I promise." Kara leaned in closer, placing her fingertips on Lena's wrist. "Sorry, I am listening, I just got distracted because the guy behind you keeps staring at us. Don’t look! He’ll know I said something. He is literally staring right at me, now.”

Lena's eyes widened. "Oh, yeah. Is he over six feet, bald, black, muscular, and probably the best-looking guy you've ever seen?"

"Well, he's not Tom Hardy, but…" she kicked herself for not saying Ryan Reynolds. Straight guys were always into Ryan Reynolds.

Lena breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah, it's fine. That's just James Orsino. He's gorgeous, I know. And guess what? He knows it, too. He's a big sports star and he's popular and charming and blah blah blah." she convulsed at her own description. "But, sorry, the guy is arrogant and aggressive and he's-"

"Coming this way!" Kara patted her hand where it was resting on Lena's forearm to stop her, just as James walked up. “Hi, new classmate!”

"James!" Lena spun to face him. "Hey, this is Alex, my business project partner. Alex, this is James Orsino."

"Nice to meet you." James deadpanned.

"Sure, you too." Kara replied, beginning to smile and then reverting to her Alex-pout. "Bro."

James raised one eyebrow at the term. "Okay then, ‘bro’. Listen, Lena, I was just wondering if you and I could talk before class? I'm concerned for you and how your business project is going, so I have an idea of how I might be able to help you balance it out."

"Balance it out?" Lena scoffed. "I think I'm handling it pretty well considering that I have the top score in the class. It can only get better, too, now that Alex is here."

"Yeah, that's what I'm worried about." James flashed Kara a glare. "Could we step out for a minute?"

"I don't have time right now. I need to get Alex caught up things, and class starts in two minutes. Why don't you just email me?"

James shrugged and shoved his hands into the pockets of his red and white track pants. That was when Kara realized he was wearing all Illyria-logo clothing. 

"Yeah, email. Alright." James gave one final wary look to Kara before returning to his seat.

"Gees, that was intense." Kara said.

Lena let out a long breath. "Sorry, he has tried to be really helpful with the project, but he's a little too extra."

"I think that's just because he's into you."

Lena opened her mouth to respond, but the professor at the front called for everyone to take their seats. 

The content of the class was basic enough to Kara, who had already taken advanced statistics and data management courses at Cornwall. She browsed Lena's books, thinking of ways she could contribute, while the professor talked about "opportunity cost". Midway through, she got an idea for product development, so she pulled her laptop out of her backpack and opened it to take notes. Lena glanced at the stickers covering the laptop and Kara realized some of them probably seemed odd for a guy; Paramore, Seattle Reign, Bon Iver… 

She decided if anyone asked, she could say she borrowed it from her “sister”.

Kara kept the screen tilted so Lena wouldn't see while she created a new free email account: "IllyrianAlex". It wasn't very creative, but it would help her keep track of assignments and school correspondence. Kara realized she was going far above and beyond what Alex would have expected (or deserved), but she shook away the thought.

Toward the end of class, she slipped her new email address to Lena on a piece of paper, along with her phone number. She couldn't help but notice that James visibly stiffened and then craned his neck at the interaction, studying the note with intense interest. He hadn’t stopped watching the two of them for the entire class period.

“Don’t forget to log on to your business website tonight,” the professor said, checking his watch. “All of you need to debut at least one new product, as well an estimate of the market share you hope to take with it. Alright, see you all, tomorrow.”

Lena picked up Kara’s note and put it into her phone, firing off a text to Kara.

"There, now you have my number, too."

"Thanks." Kara said. She began to pack up her laptop and the project binders to study. 

"I sent you the link to my study notes and all the electronic files for the project." Lena explained. "I figured that would be much easier than resending all the emails I sent to that other account."

"Okay, awesome. I can do the market share assignment, tonight. It's a little more work than I expected to do this week but… I've got a lot of free time now, actually." 

"Why's that?" A boy’s voice asked from behind them. Kara knew before she turned around that it was James. He had somehow managed to pack his things up in record time and appear out of nowhere to "join" their conversation.

Kara cringed. "Oh, uh. Well, it’s not really a big deal.”

“Why do you have more free time?” James persisted. “Just curious.”

“Well, uh, yeah. I normally play soccer but, I'm not playing this year, so, yeah. I'll have a lot more free time because of that."

Lena and James shared an inquisitive look, though Lena’s was more interested than James’ borderline skepticism.

"You’ve never played on our team, though. Where do you usually play? What position do you play?" James asked.

"Winger, mostly." 

“For who?”

Kara couldn’t say Cornwall. She remembered back to her texts with Winn. “Just a community league, you know. I figured this year I need to focus on school, since I am already so behind.”

James crossed his arms over his chest. “That’s cool. We could use a winger, here. Have you thought about trying out for Illyria?”

Lena held up her hand between them. “It was great to meet you, Alex, but I can’t stay for soccer talk. I need to get to my next class. Text me later?” She didn’t wait for the response and was bustling away, balancing her laptop bag and a stack of books effortlessly as though they were extensions of her own body.

“I’ll see you later Lena!” James called after her. She didn’t turn around, but shifted her books to one side and gave a tiny wave over her shoulder, then she was out the door.

Kara picked up her own backpack and slung it over one shoulder. Most of the students had left the classroom or were about to, and Kara felt nervous to be alone with James. Boys were… different, alone. They had their own codes and rules and language which Kara wasn't privy to. She had seen hints of it, when she was with her brother and his friends, and it was so foreign. She was not confident in her ability to behave convincingly when alone with another guy; especially a "cool athlete" guy.

James was persistent, though, and as soon as Kara began walking, he joined her.

"So, what are you thinking?" he resumed, "Are you going to try out for the team?"

Kara scoffed. "Nah, I'm way too busy with school."

"Oh yeah." James said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Now that you are actually showing up, right?"

Kara would usually laugh at such a comment, but she tried to think of how a guy might react. Alex seemed a lot more abrasive with his friends than she was with hers. "Chill, bro. It was a total mix-up, and not my fault. So, don't bust my balls, okay?"

James raised his eyebrows. "Uh, sure?"

They were outside the class now, in an open student lounge area. Kara stopped to check where her next class was, and unfortunately James stopped, too.

He faced her, wearing a serious expression. "Look, I just want to make sure that you're going to keep showing up, okay? Lena is going to be nice about it, but she's been doing a ton of extra work, on account of you. She probably won't say anything, but they wouldn't let her pick a different group partner, because of who she is. I volunteered a dozen times to switch groups so she could have some help, you know? She's juggling two majors and she's kinda had a hard life. She doesn't deserve any douches making things harder for her."

"I'm not a douche."

"Dude, I didn't say you were. Just show up and do your work for the rest of the semester, or drop the class. It's that simple."

Kara frowned. "I'm a great student, seriously. You don't have to worry about me. I told you, it was just a mistake."

"Yeah, okay. We're cool."

"Oh yeah! We're totally cool, broseph." Kara offered her hand up for a high five, which James only stared at, raising one skeptical eyebrow.

"Don't take this wrong, but… were you homeschooled?"

Kara lowered her hand. It seemed two lies were as good as one. "Uh… yeah. Yeah, I was."

"Huh. Okay, I'll see you around." James said. He gave a half-hearted, lopsided grin, and walked past the study tables and toward the exit.

Kara pulled out her phone and opened her email to confirm the next class location. 

“Oh, Alex?” James’s voice called out from across the lounge. When Kara looked up, he continued. “If you don’t suck at soccer, you really should try out. I wasn’t kidding.”

“Do they allow… is it a co-ed team?” Kara called back, catching herself. “My sister could try out, she’s better than I am.”

James shook his head. “Nah, but I think Cornwall has a girl’s team. So, see you tomorrow.”

Kara gritted her teeth at the mention of Cornwall, and the dismissive tone of James’s voice. Fortunately, she didn’t have to respond. Looking back at the schedule for Alex’s classes, Kara groaned aloud.

“Intro to Stage Lighting? What the hell, Alex.”

____________

After school, Kara needed to talk through her decision-making process. It was not going to be easy to figure out a solution, and she never could work things out inside her own head. She took off her beanie and let her hair down, pacing through her apartment.

“Winn, I need you to reserve all your judgment, okay?” she said, as soon as her friend answered the phone.

“Oh boy. These conversations never go well. Did you get a tattoo? Are you pregnant?”

“What?!” Kara slapped her free hand against her face. “How could I be pregnant? I don’t even have a boyfriend!”

“Do you need me to explain that to you? I would prefer not to…”

“No. No, Winn. I am not pregnant. I am not even a tiny, little bit, remotely possibly in danger of becoming pregnant. In fact, maybe the total opposite, based on how this day is shaping up.”

There was an awkward pause from the other end. “I am thinking this is one of those, rip-off-the-band-aid-quickly situations, because you can’t keep making me guess.”

“Right.” Kara let out a long breath. “So, you know how I told you that I needed to deal with family stuff, and help my brother with school?”

“Yeah, your notoriously irresponsible twin brother, who is hot, but super dumb? Yes, I vaguely remember. What the hell did he do, this time?”

“He went to London for some kind of band… thing. Concert, or whatever.”

Winn gasped. “Are you serious? In the middle of the semester? Some people’s lives just amaze me. You know, my cousin had to save up for six years to get a chance to backpack through Europe, and she- okay, no, never mind. Tell me the rest of your thing.”

“Thanks.” Kara went into Alex’s room and began pulling out more laundry, tossing it into the hallway. “Well, I don’t know if I ever told you this, but when we were kids, we used to switch places sometimes. You know, we look a lot alike, even though we are fraternal twins and everything.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Like Parent Trap. Can boy/girl twins be identical? Is that a thing?”

“No. But we are still really close to identical, you know?”

“Yeah, I can see that. You look super alike, if I didn’t know you really well. I mean, I would definitely be able to tell you apart.”

Kara bit her tongue, fighting to hold back from saying anything.

“What?” Winn said. “Why are you quiet? What is it? You know I could tell you two apart, right? I totally can.”

Kara chuckled. “Well, it’s funny you think that, because, you totally sent me some thirsty messages this morning on snapchat, so…”

“Oh my gosh.”

“Yeah.” Kara said, sighing. “So, that was me. I was testing the waters to see if I could pull it off. And I did! So, thanks?”

“Dude, I don’t know any better way to tell you this, and don’t let it go to your head, but you are such a sexy man.”

“Ugh. Gross.”

“Like, if I need a date to a family reunion, ooh! Or, can we get a selfie, and I’ll send it to my mom, and I’ll say you’re my boyfriend, and then she’ll stop asking me if I’m a lesbian!”

Kara groaned. “Maybe she asks you that because you are sounding a helluva lot like a lesbian, right about now.”

“Whoa. Okay, good point, good point.” 

“Anyway,” Kara said, “I used to dress up like my brother all of the time and go to his classes, so he could keep his grades up. He asked me if I would do it, while he is in London. I can’t just let him fail out of college, you know? He’s an idiot, but he asked for my help. So, I figured I could pop in to a few of his classes today, submit a few papers or take a test, and keep him just above the bar so he wouldn’t totally flunk out. Then he will get back, and he can deal with it.”

“Wait, what? You went to his classes? You didn’t, right? Kara, you did not go through with that! Please tell me you did not.”

“I… did.”

Winn shouted “What?!” into the phone so loud that Kara had to hold it inches away from her ear.

“Dude! Are you batshit crazy?”

“You said you wouldn’t judge me, remember?” Kara replied. “You promised!”

“Okay. Okay.” Winn gave a few deep breaths. “Can you send me some pictures, or some video? I really need to see this for myself. Please tell me that there’s a viral video of this online, somewhere. I am just looking up ‘girl dressed as her brother tries to sit in my class’ on YouTube.”

“No one took video. No one suspected anything. Well, they did ask me if I was homeschooled, but otherwise, they didn’t question me. I told you, we used to do this all of the time. I kinda have it down, by now.”

“Okay, I have to see this for myself. Promise me that we can go to a party or something, and you will dress as your brother, so I can witness it firsthand. You have to do this for me.”

“Yeah, sure. That’s the thing, though, I need your advice. Because, I am kind of thinking about… I feel like maybe I should do it for a week, or so.”

Winn giggled. “Seriously? Why?”

“Well, okay. So, the only serious class he is taking is this econ intro to business, which isn’t that hard, but he has a group project, and he hasn’t done any of it. So I feel bad for the girl in his group. She is going to be stuck doing the entire thing, alone.”

“Kara, who cares? You just met her today, she can figure her own life out. That’s your brother’s fault, not yours. Besides, you have your own classes to worry about. Did you even make it to calculus, today?”

“No, but I submitted my homework online.”

“You can’t do your classes online, and you have three classes tomorrow. You can’t just go fill in for Alex’s life for an entire week.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Kara walked out to the hallway and grabbed the pile of clothes, taking them to the wash. “But just hear me out? I have all As in my classes, and I was thinking, if I said I was really sick, I could get the week off. I am sure I could submit my assignments from home. Because Alex was invited to try out for the soccer team, dude. I know I could make it on that team, and then I could help Lena with the group project and I could play for Illyria. After a week, they will see that I’m good enough for the team, and I can tell them who I am. That’s just what I was thinking, you know? It could work… right?”

“Kara.” Winn’s voice was calm and stern. “Listen to me. I love you, and I think you’re a really smart person, and you are not a dumbass. But I need you to understand, so listen very carefully, that everything you just said is the stupidest fucking thing I have literally ever heard.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“It is that bad.”

“Do you want to come over and see me in my Alex-outfit?”

“Are you trying to sex with me? Is this a Netflix and chill situation?”

Kara rolled her eyes. “You’re gross. No. I want you to see how it looks in person and tell me if I could pull it off. Do you think I could make it onto the soccer team? That’s my goal. No pun intended.”

“You can’t keep calling it a pun if you seriously only say ‘goal’ is your pun, every time.”

Kara giggled, endlessly amused by how much it irritated Winn when she made soccer puns.

There was another pregnant pause from Winn, then an audible groan. “Okay, I’ll come over. But I’m telling you right now, I think this is so crazy. I would refuse to support you, except I know that your options are shit. I went to the community soccer tryout today and… yeah. Let’s just not even talk about it. I was secondhand embarrassed to be there. I pretended I had to use the bathroom and I snuck out after twenty minutes.”

“Oof. That is bad.”

“It’s terrible. I texted one of my friends and she said there’s a girl’s team at National City U that we could possibly join, if we told them the situation, since that’s a private school.”

“NCU? That’s over an hour away!”

“Yeah, I know. It’s basically our only option. I am going to email the coach and ask if they will take me, considering the circumstances. So… all I’m trying to say is, if you wanna try to get on the boy’s team, then, whatever. It’s probably viable.”

Kara looked down at the array of male clothing options she had tossed into the washing machine as it began to fill up with water. “So you’re saying you’ll come over and help me turn into the best boy I can be?”

“You owe me so much. Whatever Alex is giving you for doing this, I want double that.”

“You’re the best, best, bestest friend ever.”


	3. Chapter 3

Kara had Winn over to help her get dressed for “her” second day of school when she received a call from an unlisted number.

“I’ll be quick, this might be Lena.” Kara said, stepping out of the bathroom and into the hall. “Hello?” she answered in her Alex-voice.

“...Hello?” the real Alex-voice responded.

“Alex! I wasn’t expecting you!”

“Did you just answer in a dude-voice? Are you twin-swapping, right now?”

Kara frowned. “Yeah, well, you wanted me to do it, so I totally did.”

“Nice! You’re the best.”

“You know some people would say that I’m… The Only Exception.”

“Oh really? Is that something I’m supposed to Decode? Because you’ve been going to my class… of Misery Business?!”

“Ain’t It Fun to be such an idiot, Alex? I wouldn’t know.”

“Right, right. I’ll work on getting you those tickets when I get back, I promise.”

“You better. Hey, I also need you to send me some stuff. I don’t have everything I need for your classes, and you have an assignment for Stage Lighting I can’t complete until I get your timing charts.”

“Oh, wow. You really stepped up, didn’t you.”

The sound of a guitar twanged in the background, and Alex started shouting at someone that he was on the phone. The noise continued, slightly muffled.

“Sorry,” Alex said, “we are splitting a big house, it gets a little loud. So wait, you already went to my classes?”

“Yeah dude, and you are such a dickhead. Did you know that you were assigned in a group project with one girl, so she has had to do everything for it, by herself?!” Kara raised her voice more than she’d intended.

“Uh… okay. Yeah I think she’s the one who keeps emailing me. Lena Luthor? She’s super obnoxious.”

“Of course she’s obnoxious, she has to do the entire project alone, when everyone else’s group is three or four people! That’s your fault.”

Alex let out a short burst of laughter. “Oh come on, she doesn’t even need to take the class. Her dad owns the entire business program, or whatever. She’s just there to check the box, that’s why they won’t let her have any more group project partners. She said it herself, in her emails.”

Kara suddenly felt a little warm with embarrassment creeping under her cheeks. “Wait, what? You mean she’s that Luthor?”

“Yeah, remember, the two heirs to the Luthor business? Lex is the gross, embarrassing one with all the reality shows. Lena is the smart one trying to finish her degree. Did you meet her? She’s hot. I saw her around campus, last year, but I never worked up the guts to talk to her. She’s like, way out of my league.”

“That’s surprising, since you never seem to lack in confidence when it comes to hitting on my friends.”

“Yeah but your friends are like… fun-hot. Lena is serious-hot. She would chew me up and spit me out.”

“Okay, well I did meet her and I am helping her with the business project, so whatever. Can you forward me those emails from her? I want to see what she said.”

Someone started banging drums in the background.

“Huh? Sorry-” Alex said, then yelled again about being on the phone. This time the sound didn’t dampen at all. “What did you say?”

Kara yelled back. “Can you forward me her emails?”

“Emails?!”

“YES!”

“Okay, thanks sis’!” Alex shouted. “Gotta go!”

Kara shouted back her goodbye, but he’d already hung up.

“Holy shit, you two are loud.” Winn said, emerging from the bathroom with a pallet of make-up in her hand.

“He couldn’t hear me, there were drums and guitars in the background.” Kara explained, pocketing her phone. “Dude, you know that girl I told you about with the business project? I just realized she is a Luthor, like that Luthor. Her dad is the guy who runs the LuthorCorp, and they basically funded the entire business program at Illyria, including the building.”

“Nice! Sounds like you don’t need to waste your time helping her out, anymore. You can focus on your own classes, and on making that men’s soccer team!”

Kara grimaced. “Nah, I disagree. I think it’s even more important that I help her. Can you imagine what kind of pressure she must be under? I bet even the professors grade her harsher than anyone else. What would they think if she got anything less than perfect scores and the best performance in the class? You haven’t met her, I don’t think she ever sleeps. She looks super stressed out. I understand now why James told me she’d had a hard life, and he was so protective of her.”

“I still don’t think that’s your responsibility.” Winn shook her head. “It’s not even really Alex’s responsibility, either. But, do what you’re gonna do. I know you’re dead-set on this.”

“Thank you.” Kara gave a half-smile. “Are you still okay with talking to my professors today, and telling them I am really sick?”

Winn moved in and began applying tinted moisturizer to Kara’s cheeks with a wedge. “You know it. I’ll say you have mono, and you got it from Mike MonEl.”

Kara shut her eyes and groaned. “First of all, that’s way too much alliteration. No one will believe it. Second of all, he is the most disgusting human on the planet. There is something truly, significantly, mentally wrong with him.”

“Yeah well, you’re the one who dated him for six months.”

“I did not date him! I was just trying to be nice and show him around. I can’t help it if I am friendly and he took it the wrong way. Besides, you know he is going to hear those rumors, and then say that he kissed me, and then he will never leave me alone about it.”

Winn laughed. “I’m just fucking with you, I would never say that. I agree, he’s a massive creep. I wish he could see you now, though. I bet he would still wanna smash.”

“Gross.”

“Hey, what are you going to do about all this hair? You can’t wear a beanie everyday.”

Kara took a sharp breath through her nose. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking a lot about that. I’m not going to be able to wear a beanie to soccer tryouts, or to soccer in general.”

“You might be able to get a boy’s wig and tuck your hair under it?”

“That isn’t going to work. Have you seen how much hair I have? I’m barely fitting it under this beanie, as it is.”

“Yeah? So what are you thinking?”

Kara cringed. “Don’t judge me-”

“You keep saying that, but I keep right on judging.”

“-I’m thinking I should just cut it.”

“What?!” Winn stopped applying make-up and held her hands in between them, suspended. Her mouth was wide open in an expression of shock.

“I know, I know!” Kara exclaimed. “But I can always grow it out. Come on, Winn. You said it yourself, this year might be my chance at pro soccer. The more I think about it, the more I realize, this is what matters most to me, and I’d do anything, for it. What if I don’t do everything I can to try, and then I look back on it for the rest of my life with regret?”

“Yeah, you would. You’re right. But your hair?”

“I know I would. So… it’s just hair. If it gets me to my goals-”

“Oh fucking a, you made another goal pun.”

“-then it’s worth it.”

Winn sighed and moved her hands back to resume applying make-up. “Okay. I support you. Do you want me to cut it? We have like an hour before your class.”

“Do you know what you’re doing?”

“Are you kidding? I have six younger brothers, remember? Do you think my mom pays for a single one of their haircuts? Girl, I got this.”

“Okay. Not too short though. Make it kinda shaggy, like blonde Kylo Ren. Then I won’t have far to go when I wanna grow it back out, again.”

Winn shook her head, chuckling. “Dude, I can’t wait until you tell everyone who you are, and I get to repeat this whole damn story at parties. Not even parties, but like… graduation. Or shit, I’ll tell it when I give the toast at your wedding. Basically, I’m going to describe this moment, to everyone you know, and everyone you ever meet, for the rest of your damn life.”

“It’ll be worth it. You know it will.”

“That’s the beauty of it.” Winn leaned back to admire her handiwork. “Dude, for real, you are the hottest guy of all time. You look even better than yesterday.”

“I suppose you are going to force me to take that selfie with you, now?”

“Oh don’t worry, you’ll get to that. But first? It’s haircut time, snip snip.”

\-----

There was a completely different vibe when Kara showed up to business class on the second day. The moment she passed through the door, Lena bolted over to her with a huge smile of gratitude. Kara noticed that James was also there early, and he hung back by his desk, but his demeanor was casual and friendly compared to the day before.

“Alex! Hey!” Lena exclaimed. “I saw your submission last night, it was really excellent! I’m so impressed that you were able to catch-up so fast with the material. Did you spend a lot of time on that? It was perfect for the assignment.”

“Uh, yeah.” Kara shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “Ya know, it was the least I could do after all that crap with the uh, not-being-here.”

Lena’s smile grew, the joy spreading to her eyes. She looked so beautiful, almost as though she were a totally different person. “I really appreciate it. I was so relieved when I saw it post last night, so I could move onto my other homework.”

“Sure. I hope I can keep on being just as helpful, from now on.” Kara said. “You know, the rest of my classes aren’t that hard, so I can step up, even more.”

“You don’t need to do more than your share, but it means a lot that you’re offering.” Lena said.

Kara noticed that everything about Lena seemed more relaxed, today. Aside from her overall demeanor, her hair was also in a loose, messy bun, closer to the style that Kara would want. Well, that she wanted before today; buns would be out of the question for quite some time. Kara couldn't help but reach up to run her fingers through her own hair, still trying to adjust to the look and feel of the cropped cut.

"What do we have that's due, next?" Kara asked.

"I'll show you the calendar." Lena replied, gesturing toward the table. She turned to head that direction and Kara followed.

As they walked, Lena's chin dipped in a subtle way, that Kara noticed in the corner of her eye. Intrigued by it, Kara looked over in time to watch Lena’s green eyes trail down, then back up again, over Kara’s body. It was slight, but enough to be recognizable in intention and action. Kara tried to fight off a blush that threatened to creep up her cheeks; she couldn’t remember a time she was ever checked out by a girl, before. Kara abruptly turned her head away so their eyes wouldn’t meet, and that’s when she saw James. He was staring at them both, and judging by the cutting glare he was throwing Kara’s way, he had observed the entire interaction.

Male jealousy? Now that was something Kara had zero experience dealing with.

When they reached their table, Kara picked up her chair and turned it around so she was on the same side as Lena, and her back was to James. She wasn’t ready to dodge his seething glances all through class.

Lena sat down and pulled out a planner. “So this week we have two product updates, but that’s just collecting data from what we’ve already launched. Then we will have seven data points next week, and next Thursday we will submit a short essay on what we would choose to focus on, for R&D, based on the products we have.”

“I can write that, I’m good with essays.” Kara offered, scooting her chair closer.

“Are you sure? I know our products well, so I’ve planned a lot of these assignments in advance.”

“Uh huh, totally. I’ll do that.” Kara resisted the urge to look back at James, but she sensed that she could practically feel his eyes boring a hole in her skull.

Lena relented, and they finished going through the calendar. Kara volunteered for fewer assignments after the two weeks when she knew Alex would be back, since he would probably disappoint her.

When the professor came in to start class and began writing on the board, Kara stole a quick glance back at James. She hoped he would have moved on by then, and been distracted by the lecture, but he was still focused in her direction. She gave a polite smile, trying to de-escalate, and send the telepathic message that she didn’t want any alpha male pissing contest. James pursed his lips and nodded back, the ever-telling “chin music” of pissed off boys.

Kara hoped his jealousy would wear off by soccer tryouts, that night.

_______

It didn’t.

James was guaranteed a spot on the team, along with four other players who had all been starters, at least the previous two years. There were about forty other students at tryouts who all had to compete for their spots in a two-hour elimination game.

Kara had already started off poorly with the coach when she couldn’t explain why “Alex” had never played college or even high school soccer before, and was showing up for the first time in junior year. To rub salt in the wound, James played opposite her, and seemed determined to take it personally. He took every opportunity to steal from her, pass by her, and toe the line when it came to fouls. She counted three times that he went offsides, simply to encroach on her space and be extra aggressive.

It didn’t matter what he did, of course, he was already on the team. It was her who had to prove her way, and she wouldn’t be able to do it with how he bullied her on the field.

Kara did her best to make up for it, and managed to stay in for over ninety minutes. She gave three assists, which was no small feat, considering they scored four goals. She broke away from James only twice to get shots on goal, which was far lower than her typical average. After what felt like longer than even she expected to stay in, the coach finally pulled her out. She watched the final twenty on the field, which meant she may have a chance to still get first string. She tried not to do the mental math as the last few minutes played out.

Coach Jonn Jones stood to the side, chewing gum erratically, and wearing a stoic face. He reminded Kara of a silent Incredible Hulk. Maybe in another universe, he was James’s overbearing father.

“Alright, I’ve seen enough.” Coach Jonn grumbled, blowing his whistle in rapid bursts.

Everyone ran in from the field while Kara and the others who had been pulled out walked over from the benches. They made a semi-circle around Coach Jonn.

“Some of you were okay out there, but that’s about all I saw. A lot of ‘okay’.” Jonn said, his voice more frustrated than disappointed. “All of you who made first string are going to have to fight to keep it, because you weren’t exceptional. All of you on second string, I’ll give you another chance after you come out to practice. If you didn’t make first or second, don’t bother wasting my time in trying again, because you were really shit.”

Kara tried to focus on his words and not on the claustrophobia she felt at being huddled in tight with a gang of smelly, sweaty, mouth-breathing boys. The locker room situation was going to be difficult, but she tried to swat that out of her mind as a problem for future-Kara.

“Here’s the list for first string, obviously I’m not reading off the four starters who already cinched it.” Jonn announced. He looked down at his clipboard and read off seven last names.

Seven last names, and none of them ‘Danvers’.

Kara wanted to tell herself that this wasn’t a surprise, but she had honestly expected to make the first string. After all, she had been on first string through both years at Cornwall, and all four years of high school.

“Next I’ll read for second string.” Coach Jonn continued. “If I don’t call your name this time, then you need to walk your happy ass off this field. Don’t come up to me asking for favors, or second chances, or giving me excuses. If you didn’t make it, then you’re out. I only want the names I call next to stick around. Now, here they are. Schott. Kent. Hastings. Dinklage. Lane. Lennox. Danvers…”

Kara felt like her ears were ringing, and she tuned out the rest. She folded her arms and looked down at the grass, focused on making her best Alex-pout. Second string was on the team, but it sure as hell wouldn’t get her scouted, or even noticed. She gritted her teeth and hoped the coach was serious about moving players up, once they put in the time at practice.

The coach excused everyone who didn’t make it, again; a few of the guys grumbling about “fairness” as they plodded off.

“Now, we practice five days a week. Problem with that? There’s about ten other guys who want your spot, right behind you. We also lift weights, and run, and do calisthenics outside practice. Problem with that? After I give your spots away to other guys, there are some girls who would kill to be on this team. I’d give them a chance, if you’re a whiner. Basketball, baseball, softball, wrestling… they are all crap at Illyria. Soccer is the sport everyone cares about, here, and you should act like you know that. If you don’t take it seriously, I won’t take you seriously.”

As far as coach speeches went, it was not the most motivating that Kara had ever heard. Not by a long shot.

Coach Jonn gave some basic groundrules for practice times, no-show penalties, and his cell number in case they had a legitimate emergency. When he dismissed them, Kara couldn’t move fast enough to break away from the group and head toward her car. Unfortunately, James had other plans.

“Yo, Danvers! Wait!”

Kara slowed, but didn’t stop, giving him the chance to catch up and walk alongside her.

“Hey, congrats on making the team.” James said, eyeing her with some wariness. “You did a lot better than I expected, for never playing college, before.”

“I would have done better if you’d backed off my nuts, dude.” Kara snapped.

James scoffed. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, that was bullshit. You were constantly up on me.” Kara couldn’t control her hands from waving as she talked, so she shoved them into her pockets. “You were offsides, three times, just to get in my face. I couldn’t breathe without you on top of me.”

He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well… yeah. Sorry that you haven’t played college ball before but, you know, that’s how it is.”

Kara bit her tongue. She couldn’t reveal how she knew he was wrong. She would have to find other ways to correct him. They walked in silence for a few more steps.

“Hey, look, we got off to a bad start, okay?” James offered. “Maybe I was a little more aggressive than I usually play out there, but you also need to push back, harder. I wanted to see how you would react, and you tried to avoid me. If I get in your space, you get up in mine. You’ll learn that as soon as you start coming to practice.”

“If I’d pushed back any more, it would’ve been a foul.”

“Nah, you’ll see. Maybe in the league you played, but not this one. You’d have to mow me over before a ref would call foul for you. Besides, I was leaving you plenty of space.”

Kara looked at him to see if he was genuine but couldn’t tell. They were off the field and in a darker section of the campus, so she couldn’t read his facial expressions as easily.

“So why do you wanna help me so bad?” Kara asked. “Seems like you wanna kick my ass.”

James chuckled. “Yeah, I kinda do. You’re sorta douchey. But I haven’t seen Lena so happy, all year. She was a different person, today. I was pissed about it because I know you’re the reason she was like that, you know? But then I was just glad, and I decided not to be petty about it.”

“It kinda seemed like you were being petty, the past two hours.”

He laughed again, harder this time. “Okay, dude, I swear. That’s really just how I play. You’ll get used to it, I promise. And the other three guys who were on the team last year? They ball the same way. We all do it. With any luck, you’ll be playing that way in a month or two.”

They were back under a light again, as they neared the parking lot. Kara could see his face, and he had an honest kindness in his eyes.

“Listen, Jim?”

“Fuck no.”

“Okay, James. I really want to get first string, and I saw the other guy Coach Jonn picked for midfield. He was okay, but I think I’m just as good, if not better. I want to prove that I can do this. I can’t really explain it all right now, but I’ll tell you sometime. This matters a lot, to me. So if I need to put in extra hours outside practice, or whatever it takes, I’m willing to do it. I don’t expect you to do me any favors, but if you are willing to help me get more playing time on the field… well, it would mean a lot.” Kara shrugged. “I’ll explain why later, but I just want you to know that I’d appreciate your help.”

James sucked in a breath between his teeth. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll send you some pointers, like in email, okay?”

“Yeah, cool.” Kara tried not to show her disappointment, but she didn’t think email pointers would do much more for her than she already knew to do by herself.

“Don’t be hard on yourself though, second string is still impressive. A lot of those guys who didn’t make it tonight have tried out, before. You beat them, so you’re pretty good.”

“Thanks.”

“Alright Danvers, I’ll see you in class.”

They parted ways and headed to their respective cars. Once Kara was inside hers, she started the engine and flipped on the stereo, sitting for a few minutes to think and play on her phone. She needed to shower, and decompress.

Of course, she had at least ten messages from Winn, all of them asking when she would find out if she made the team. She fired one back: _I made it, but I’m second string. I gotta figure out how to play like a boy, apparently, and get myself bumped up to first string. I’ll call you later._

She went back to her inbox to find a text from Lena, of all people.

_Hey Alex, I don’t know much (or anything) at all about soccer. Or sports. Anyway, just wanted to wish you luck on the thing that you’re doing, and I hope it’s great!_

Kara smiled at the message. Booksmart Lena had probably never even held a “sportsball” in her life; it was endearing. No wonder she wasn’t interested in James, who cared about soccer at the expense of school, sort of like the real-Alex was with his music. Though, considering their similarities made Kara think she might be able to figure James out, after all.

Putting some Rise Against on her car speakers to help her wind down, Kara threw her car into gear and headed home.


	4. Chapter 4

It was day 3 of pretending to be her brother, and Kara was beginning to feel like this charade would take her much longer than a week.

She woke up early, did her make-up the way Winn taught her, then headed in to the Illyria gym to get in a workout before class.

There was a gym on Cornwall that she normally used, but she justified going to Illyria because she needed to show she was preparing for soccer. She also hoped she might get a chance to talk with a few of her new teammates, especially James.

Kara was not disappointed when she walked into the gym and saw the four starters from tryouts; James, Andrew Murray, Kirk Gordy, and Justin White. She had been memorizing the rosters, so she wasn’t entirely sure which of them was which, other than James, of course.

The four boys were split among the bench press and dumbbells, in a corner crowded together. Two were lifting, and the other two were spotting.

Kara heard James let out an audible groan as she approached, and she knew it wasn’t from exertion.

“Hey brah, how’s it goin’?”

James was leaning over the bench press, and he kept his eyes on the guy pounding out reps. “Uh, it’s goin’.”

“Cool, cool.” Kara said, already feeling awkward and overly warm in her concealing crewneck. “Yeah just about to start my work out, too. So, that’s cool.”

“Have you ever been inside the gym before?” One of the two guys behind her said. She turned to look at them and they had both started laughing.

“Do you even lift, bro?” Kara fired back in a mocking voice.

They looked confused by the insult; rightfully so, because both guys were stacked with muscles, packing into their tank tops and shorts.

Kara turned back to James. “Anyway, do you have time to show me a couple things? I mean, ya know, I have a routine but, you said you knew what kinda stuff we should be working on, in the gym.”

James frowned and let out a sigh. “Well, I am kinda working out with Murray, already.”

So this one was Murray. Kara took note of his face and hoped she could remember; Murray had short brown hair and was otherwise sort of nondescript. She could see herself confusing him with any of the other seven or eight guys on the team who had the same haircut and same general build and appearance.

“I wouldn’t care, dude.” Murray said, between grunts.

“Nah, no.” James insisted. “We already got our workout going. You know? I need to finish this up, and stuff.”

“Yeah, it’s cool. I’ll do my own thing.” Kara said, trying to appear confident. “So I’ll see you in class in a little bit, James.”

James offered nothing more than a head nod in her direction. He was clearly embarrassed to be seen talking to her, in front of his soccer friends. Kara decided to try and figure out if they found her too feminine, or questioned whether she was really a guy. It wouldn’t matter in a few days, but she had to stay on the soccer team long enough to get first string before revealing her identity.

Kara slid in her headphones and turned up the volume so it was blaring, loud enough that the guys could hear her music start. She went to the dumbbells and grabbed a few, then went to the bench and kicked off with arm rows. With one hand lifting, she slid the other hand back in her pocket and pushed the volume button until there was no sound in her headphones at all. She kept lifting for a while, listening intently and careful to look like she was lost in her own little world.

James and Murray chatted for a few minutes about girls. Murray described a girl he had gone on a date with as “clingy” because she had asked when she could meet his friends. He then proceeded to lament that he could never find girls. Kara had to fight herself hard not to scoff and roll her eyes.

“So what’s happening with Lena?” Murray asked.

Kara could have sworn she saw James shoot a look in her direction to see if she was listening, but she was angled just away from him. She kept on lifting, making a show of breathing hard and grimacing every few seconds.

“Uh, nothing.” James said, much quieter.

“What? You don’t wanna talk about her? Since when?” Murray pressed.

James mumbled something indistinguishable and gestured loosely toward Kara.

Murray laughed. “So? He’s a weirdass homeschooler like you said, why do you care what he thinks? He’s not even listening. What’s his name?”

“Alex Danvers.”

“Yo, Alex!” Murray said. “Hey Danvers! See? His music is fucking loud. Now come on, spill it. You got one more set?”

James nodded and laid out on the bench, beginning the presses and talking openly as he did. “I’ve tried everything that normally works. I thought she was into me when we first started the class, you know? She would always talk to me, ask what I needed help with in class, and then we started emailing and stuff. I mean, it was just shit about assignments or whatever. But I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime, and she said yeah, so I thought we would.”

“Yeah but you went on a date, right?”

“I dunno, it wasn’t really a date. I mean, she was like, going to eat after class and I asked her if I could go, so we had lunch.”

“Did you take the same car, or separate cars?”

James stopped talking to pound out a couple final reps, then he sat up, wiping his forehead with a towel. “Uh, we took separate cars.”

Kara couldn’t see Murray, but she imagined his face was probably judgy, based on his tone.

“Yeah man, that’s not even a date. How has she acted toward you, after that?”

“The same, I guess.” James sounded dejected. “She is still pretty nice. Every time I ask how she is or if she wants to hang out, she just says she’s really stressed with all her schoolwork. I kept offering to help her. Now that Danvers is here, he can help her with her project. So like, I’m thinking she’ll be less stressed now, and she’ll have less to do, so she’ll make time to hang out with me, you know?”

“Wait, why does it matter that he’s here?” Murray asked, tossing a glance at Kara, who had moved on to chest presses and still appeared unaware.

“He’s in her group, man. So she’s been doing all the work by herself. Now he showed up and has started doing the assignments. Like, she has to have more free time, now, right?”

“Huh. Yeah. Maybe you should have agreed to workout with him.”

“Nah.” James dragged the word out. His voice dropped to a whisper, but it was still loud enough for Kara to hear. “Dude, no way. I’m being as nice as I can. The guy is so annoying. I can only handle so many fist bumps and ‘sup bro’s and ‘hey brah’s. He talks to me like we’re best friends.”

Murray began giggling. “What? Really? Is he like, from Jersey, or something?”

“I don’t fucking know. He’s super friendly with everyone, it’s obnoxious. I’m trying to be nice, all the time, but how can I? He’ll probably want to get matching tattoos.”

Murray laughed harder.

“Shut up! He’s gonna hear you.” James warned, whispering louder.

“Okay, okay.” Murray relented. “So when are you going to ask Lena out, dude?”

“I dunno. I feel like a jerk. You really think I should?”

“Yeah! Go for it. What’s she going to do, say no? You’re a huge deal on campus, and basically you two are inevitable. With her dad and his business shit, and you being the biggest soccer player at the school, it’s gotta happen. She’ll figure that out. Ask her to go to Catco’s with you, that’s pretty casual.”

James groaned. Kara went to rack her weights and pick up a new set, and she could see him rubbing his face in frustration.

“Yeah, yeah,” James said, “okay, I’m going to do it. You’re right, she’s got less on her plate now. She’s gotta be less-stressed, right? So she’ll go for it.”

“Fuck yeah, man!”

They moved on to talking about the burgers at Catco’s, and how they needed to go there tonight. It seemed they were done talking about Kara and any related topics, so Kara decided to move to the other side of the gym, turn her music back up, and get an actual workout. Between sets, she fired off a text to Winn.

_Hey, just heard some of the guys from soccer talking about me-Alex. They think he’s a huge creep. What do I do?_

Kara resumed and wrapped up another set, then checked her phone.

Winn’s reply: _IDK maybe don’t give a fuck??_

Kara sighed. She would have to talk this through with Winn, later, so her friend would see how much this mattered. If the roles were reversed and Winn felt that her chance at making it on a college ball team was compromised, there’s no doubt she would be freaking out.

When Kara finished up her workout, there was no sign of the guys, so she felt safe heading back out to her car without anyone wondering why she wasn’t utilizing the locker room. She ran home to check her makeup, change into clean clothes, and reapply men’s deodorant before class. She didn’t shower, but thought the hint of sweaty smell would probably be helpful to her masculinity; if anyone got close-enough to notice.

On her way to class, she called Winn on speakerphone.

“Dude, is this about the soccer guys?” Winn answered, irritation in her voice.

“Yeah, hey, I’m about to get to class so I only have like five minutes, just hear me out on this, okay?”

Winn sighed. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“So they think I’m too friendly, and that I’m weird because I say ‘bro’ a lot, apparently. I’ll cut back on that and try to just play it cool, or cooler, than I’m doing. But dude, I need to get an in with these guys! Our first soccer practice is tomorrow, and then two more, this weekend. That means I basically have three practices to make it to first string so I can reveal who I am. That’s nothing!”

“Wait, why are you revealing who you are? Don’t you think you should like, win a game, first?”

“I can’t be out of school that long, and Alex comes back in two weeks.”

“Wait, he does? Hmm.” Winn was quiet for a moment, thinking. “Why don’t you give yourself the full two weeks, then? It can’t hurt. There’s no way you are going to be able to convince the coach to let you stay on the team when he finds out. You can’t just think that because you’re first string, he will allow you to keep playing. You need to be one of his top players. You need to kill it, out there. I know that you can, because you’re the best winger I’ve ever seen.”

“I don’t know, friend. Maybe this whole thing is stupid. Maybe this was just a dumb fucking idea, like you said.”

“No, no. Stop that.” Winn scolded. “Look, this isn’t dumb, and you can totally pull it off. You just need to give yourself the full two weeks. I have your back at school. I can keep turning in your assignments and telling them you are super ill. I said you had norovirus and no one wants to be exposed to that, because it’s super gross. It’s the one where you shit while you’re throwing up, because-”

“Oh ew! Ew! I know what norovirus is!”

“Okay, yeah, well no one wants you at school, spreading your shit-and-throw-up germs around the place. So, you’re welcome.”

Kara groaned as she turned into the parking lot. “I’m at school, so I’m gonna have to go.”

“Yeah, no worries. I got you for the full two weeks.”

“Thanks, dude. That gives me more time.” Kara paused as she pulled into a parking space and took her phone off speaker. “But wait, what am I going to do about the guys? I mean, the sooner I can get them to like me, the better my chances are. They are tight with the coach, they might even recommend me for first string, if they don’t think I’m such an asshole. James even said he thought I had a chance, but he’s never going to help me play like a guy, or talk to the coach about me. Because he legit thinks I’m a weirdass homeschooler. That’s what he told the other guys.”

“I mean, you’re a weirdass, sure. But a homeschooler? That’s just rude. I’ve never even seen you playing with horse dolls or making knives in the woods.” Winn joked. “Yeah, don’t worry, I’ll think of something. What are these guys into, besides soccer?”

“I dunno. I think they are just into soccer, really.” Kara got out of her car and started walking toward the Luthor building.

“That can’t be all of it. What else do they talk about?”

“Seriously? Just girls. I’ve only heard them talk about girls. And not in a good way, where it sounds like they have any idea what they are doing. They seem real dumb-I’m gonna have to tell you some stories, later. I feel so sorry for anyone they are trying to date, because they are totally clueless.”

Winn clucked her tongue into the phone. “Ahh, yes. That’s awesome. I have such a good idea. Okay, you try to find out where they are going to be this afternoon or evening, and leave it up to me. I have the best plan, ever.”

“I can’t wait to hear it. Seriously, text it to me. I gotta go, I’m almost to class.”

“Oh yeah.” Winn giggled. “I’m so on it. This is going to be the best shit you’ve ever seen. Just wait.”

\-----

Kara was eight minutes late to class.

She had arrived at the normal classroom to find it empty, so she checked her schedule from Alex, in a panic, thinking maybe it was an alternate day. Sure enough, the class was a “research session”, once per week, in the library. Kara jogged across campus back toward the Tatum Student Hub, where the library was, which she had passed on her way in. She hated being late, and a mix of her frustration and the running had caused her to work up a light sweat.

When she came in, the professor was just wrapping up his instructions in the front lobby. It felt like everyone turned and looked at her, so she shrugged as humbly as she could, and joined the group.

“...and that’s all you need for today. Someone will fill in Danvers, no doubt.” The professor said, shooting Kara a look. “Mr. Danvers, it’s nice to see you continue to make valiant efforts to be part of this class. It’s truly an exciting rollercoaster… daily.”

Kara pursed her lips and did everything she could to fight off her blush of embarrassment. As the group dispersed into the library, Lena moved the opposite direction, headed straight for Kara. She was back to her pencil skirt, though today she wore a red button up that matched her lips.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Lena said with assurance, waving her hand. “I’m late sometimes, too.”

Kara raised one eyebrow. “Are you?”

Lena appeared taken aback. “Well, actually, no. I dunno why I said that. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. We do the same thing for research day, every week. I’ll fill you in, quickly!”

Kara nodded, and they were off, deeper into the library. She followed Lena through the bays of computers, then up the stairs to the stacks. They wove through the periodicals and into the nonfiction, which was where Kara assumed they would stop, but Lena kept going back until they reached the back wall, made up of tall windows. Kara glanced out as they walked, surprised by how far below the ground outside was; it made her feel exhilarated, as she'd always loved heights.

Lena reached the next wall, where a row of study desks and nooks began. She seemed pleased as she slid into the first spot, sitting in a chair closest to the corner. Kara set her backpack on the floor and took the seat opposite Lena, leaning forward to look around.

The chairs were stuffed and plastic, showing significant signs of wear, but comfortable. There was no one visible in either direction; it was as if they had disappeared into a secret section of the library that was all their own. And there were no sounds, at all. Kara couldn't hear even a whisper of other students, though she knew they were there, somewhere.

Lena scooted to the edge of her chair so there were only a few inches between their knees; hers in white stockings and Kara's covered by jeans. She leaned in with an excited twinkle in her eyes. "I always come up here, so no one will bother me. Research day is my favorite. I love to just get away and not have to talk to anyone."

Kara furrowed her brow. "Then do you want me to go? I don't want to intrude on your special… sanctuary."

Lena smiled. "No, no. I wanted you to come up here. I was worried when you were late, that you wouldn't get to see it. Now I can actually talk to you, without everyone else, you know."

"Oh, you mean James?"

Lena rolled her eyes. "Yeah, especially James."

Kara put her elbows on her thighs and leaned in even closer to Lena. It seemed like they might be able to talk freely, but they whispered, nonetheless. "Do you and him like, hang out?"

"What?" Lena asked indignantly. "No, definitely not. He's okay, you know. He's… he's good-looking. But he's not my type."

If Kara was going to get anywhere with James, this could be the way. Tips on landing Lena? Invaluable info. "Yeah? What's your type, then?"

Lena looked up at the ceiling as she made a few exaggerated thinking sounds. "Well, I like when someone has confidence, but isn't arrogant. I like it when they don't think or talk about themselves all of the time. I like when they can understand how others feel, especially if they are the cause of it or had something to do with it. I like it when they don't think I need them, or that I'm helpless, you know? I want them to remember important dates, and pay attention to details about me, or us. I want them to be driven, and to care about the future, and to have goals they are passionate about. And most of all, I want them to be truly good, and kind, and have a heart for others. Like, selfless, you know? Caring about family, and friends, and able to be there for people."

Kara gasped. "Well, that sounds a lot like James, to me!" It sounded nothing like James.

"Really?" Lena asked, wrinkling her nose.

"Yeah! He's super helpful, and giving, and you know he's insanely passionate and driven when it comes to soccer."

"Yeah but, soccer is all he cares about. He lets everything else slide. You should see how he works in class. He is barely passing, and it's not for lack of intelligence. He is obviously lazy about it."

Kara frowned. "Well, I haven't seen him in class as much as you have, but he's anything but lazy. He's really dedicated to helping everyone on the team. He's stepped up to be my personal trainer now, just to make sure that I get to my goals. Not like, soccer goals, but you know, soccer goals."

Kara wiggled her eyebrows and Lena let out a quick burst of laughter. She quickly covered her mouth, her eyes darting around the silent library. Kara giggled at the sight of it.

"Oops." Lena said. "Can't give up our location."

"No, don't want anyone knowing about this! I'll try harder to not be funny."

Lena held back another laugh. "You can't. You're going to ruin my secret."

"I swear, I'm not even trying! You laugh super easily. That's not my fault."

"I can't help it, the way you say things, and just, your face when you talk… it makes me laugh."

Kara leaned back, studying Lena's expression. "Is it weird? Am I doing something weird?" She hated to ask, but didn't want Lena to figure her out, either.

"No, it's not weird." Lena said, her eyes filled with genuine expression.

"Ok, phew!" Kara let out a true sigh of relief and then looked over at the stacks, studying them with interest.

Lena was quiet for a second, still watching Kara. Then, in a very low whisper, she distinctly muttered: "It's cute."

Kara felt her neck heating up, but she didn't react. She gave herself a pause to try and shake off her embarrassment, staring into the books as if they contained maps to hidden treasures. She couldn't look at Lena, or she didn't know what might happen. All she knew was that her heart was racing and she was suddenly hyper-aware of exactly how close their faces were.

"So, uh," Kara began, still not meeting Lena's eyes, "we gotta, like, research something?"

"Yeah, I've got it. I'll show you." Lena replied. She scooted back in her chair and reached for her bag, pulling out a laptop. Kara did the same, grateful that now they would have computers between them, as a buffer.

It took several minutes of them discussing the research material before Kara felt normal, again, and the warmth of her blush had faded. Throughout the next forty minutes, they were all-business, without any topic passing between them except academics. They had a good system; Lena pulled up the book titles they needed and Kara fetched them from the shelves, then they took notes. There were a few little moments when Kara was reading and she would sense that Lena had stopped, and was simply watching her, or observing her, maybe. But after a minute or two, Lena would resume working. Kara began to feel nervous about it, thinking the only reason Lena would keep studying her had to be that she was noticing something. Maybe it was Kara's lack of Adam's apple, or maybe her lack of facial hair, or perhaps her skin being too soft. Either way, Kara was tense and kept trying to bury her face lower in the book and avoid Lena's attention, hoping it would wane.

Finally, Lena's timer went off to signal the end of class.

"Do we meet back up with everyone?" Kara asked, collecting the books to put away.

"Nope!" Lena said. "I told you, research day is the best. We stay as long as we need to, and then we're done. We have a little more work to do but, I gotta get to my next class."

"Oh, do you want me to stay and finish the notes for you?"

"No, no." Lena said, shaking her head. "Please don't. We don't have anything important left."

"Are you sure? I feel like I took up too much time talking and looking for stuff. You'd probably have done this faster without me."

Lena smiled and reached out her hand, placing it on Kara's. Her fingers were warm, yet the gesture and sensation gave Kara a nervous shiver. "Seriously, I'd rather we worked together. Thank you for your help." She pulled away and resumed picking up her things and organizing her bag.

Kara felt like she wasn't ready to move her hand, it was still living in the spot where it had been touched. "Well, okay. How about if I come back here in my free time and I can do the notes? I don't have soccer tonight, so I wouldn't mind."

"Alex… no. Stop trying to overdo it. We will get more research time, next week."

"Okay, yeah." Kara smiled, but Lena was giving her a serious look of distrust. "What? I said okay! I promise, I won't do it."

"Good." Lena gave a satisfied nod. "Then I'll look forward to seeing you, tomorrow."

"Yeah, sounds good."

They both smiled as they said goodbye, then Lena left, rushing toward her next class. Kara stayed behind a minute longer, sorting the cluttered notes into her bag.

As she walked down the library steps, she felt her phone vibrate. Curious, she checked it to see that she had two missed calls from Winn. As she was about to call back, a new text notification from Lena popped on the screen.

 _You better not be researching_. It said.

Kara rolled her eyes, but grinned as she wrote the reply. _I wouldn't dream of it after that lecture from you._

She was still smiling as she exited the building and walked to her next class, completely forgetting to return Winn's calls.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know there is a lack of Lena/Kara content in this chapter, but you know, the plot has to also happen!  
> There are a couple of "iconic" scenes from She's the Man that I wanted to include in this fic, and this is one of them. For the most part, the fic will deviate a lot from the movie (as many of you have noticed and pointed out in the comments). However, this chapter is one of the few exceptions.  
> And yes, I promise, there will be plenty of Lena/Kara content in the near future...

Kara never questioned Winn's plan. It was brilliant, in every way.

Thanks to social media, Winn was able to track a conversation been James, Murray, and White, regarding what time they would be going to Catco's for dinner. Kara and Winn arrived an hour beforehand to check out the place and wrap up the final details of their plan, then they sat in Winn's car, and waited.

About fifteen minutes before showtime, Hannah Cross and Samantha Arias pulled up. Cross and Sam were two defenders from the Cornwall soccer team, and hung out with Winn semi-regularly. The two of them were inseparable, though during soccer season all of the girls in the group were pretty tight. They got out of their car and came over to Winn's, hopping in the backseat.

"Sup, ladies?" Winn greeted, turning back in her seat. 

"Thanks so much for this." Kara said, smiling wide. "I can't thank you enough."

Sam and Cross both stared, wide-eyed, at Kara.

"Holy shit, Kara. Is that even… oh my gosh." Sam covered her mouth before blurting out her next words. "Like, I had no idea you were doing this, and can I just say, you're obnoxiously hot. How in the hell do you look so much like a guy? No. No."

Cross joined in, shaking her hands. "I think I'm going to hyperventilate!"

Winn was laughing so hard she couldn't even speak.

"No really," Sam continued, "how the hell are you able to be hot, as a girl, and as a guy? Right?! Shouldn't that be illegal? It's not okay. I'm not okay!"

"I know! I'm freaking out!" Cross squealed, and then the two of them grabbed each other's shoulders and screamed.

Kara couldn't do anything more than blush and wait for them to stop amping each other up over her appearance. She looked at Winn for help, but got nothing more than increased laughter.

"Well," Kara said, her cheeks bright red, "good thing we got this out of the way, before going inside."

Sam slapped Kara on the bicep, laughing so hard that she snorted. "Oh, girl. Girl-boy. Boy. Whatever! I can't even talk to you right now, holy shit balls. You are like an Illyria seven and a Cornwall ten. Can we Snapchat a selfie after this? Promise?"

"Oh my gosh, me too!" Cross shouted. "I want Eddie to see it. He's going to get so jealous."

"Yassssss!" Sam squealed.

Winn waved her hands and sucked down her laughter, which had been continuous until now. "Okay, chill. Chill. We have like, five minutes, and we gotta make sure they don’t see us all in here together, or else our cover will be blown. Does everyone understand the plan?”

Kara shook her head. “I feel like we should practice, first?”

“No, absolutely not.” Winn said. “If it comes off rehearsed, in any way, it won’t seem authentic. It needs to be as natural as possible. You shouldn’t have lines, or thorough preconceived ideas. Just remember your backstories and let it flow.”

“Got it.” Sam said, and Cross nodded along.

“Okay,” Winn checked the time. “I’m going in, I need to keep an eye on the tables. Kara, I’ll text you first. Everyone use the group chat. Are we ready?”

The three girls nodded and Winn stepped out. She was dressed far more appropriately for a night on the town than a quick bite at a little burger joint, but that was all part of it. Her hair was down, soft brown curls bouncing on her shoulders as she walked. She was in a sundress, which Kara didn’t think she had ever seen Winn wear. In fact, Sam and Cross looked like they were both in new skirts and tops, too. It got Kara thinking that maybe all three girls had been out shopping for the occasion, which seemed excessive, but they relished any excuse for cute new clothes.

Sam and Cross began taking selfies in the backseat.

“I’m gonna go to my own car,” Kara blurted out, “we don’t want to overthink our convos. Okay, bye!” She hopped out. Her jeans slunk lower on her hips and she pulled them up, wondering how boys could tolerate wearing clothes that tried to fall off, all the time.

Kara reached for her door handle when she saw a lifted Toyota pickup turning into the parking lot. She quickly slid into her car, assuming it was the guys. A few seconds later, her suspicions were confirmed as James, Murray, and White jumped out. They were laughing, heckling each other, and making some odd impressions of animals, or people. Kara sent a text in the group chat:  _ Boys are here. It’s on. _

Winn replied within seconds:  _ Kara, wait for my signal. _

While she waited, Kara scrolled through her phone messages, passing the time. She opened her conversation with Lena, and smiled at the exchange. Their banter was fun and Kara was starting to enjoy the rapport they had going. Kara honestly hoped that Lena would stay her friend and still hang out with her, when this was over. Lena seemed like the kind of person who would understand what Kara was doing, and why she was doing it. After all, Lena had said she admired people who were driven and who made sacrifices for others. Maybe Lena would appreciate that Kara had done this for her brother, and also to try and make playing soccer into something big.

Kara began a text, then deleted it. She began another, then deleted that as well. She couldn’t really think of a reason to text Lena, but she wanted to. There wasn’t anything to say about school, but that couldn’t be all Lena thought about, or cared about, right? Kara knew if they were going to become friends, real friends, they would have to talk about more than just school, and James Orsino.

Food. Everyone loves food.

_ Hey, I was wondering… what’s your favorite cheese? _

Kara sent the text. 

She didn’t have time to wait for the reply, since Winn threw out “the signal” in the group chat. 

It was showtime.

Kara had never been inside a place quite like Catco’s. The moment she opened the front door, she was overwhelmed with pounding electronic music, flashing lights like the inside of an arcade machine, and dozens of rowdy college-age patrons. It was absolutely the restaurant equivalent of the main Illyria campus; boisterous, lackadaisical, and bustling. And also it looked generally unclean.

There was a squad of boys lingering at the front door, who all stared at Kara as she walked in. Kara threw her hands up to offer them high fives, then proceeded, not receiving anything more than glares from the group as she passed through.

“Alright then, nope!” Kara said, dropping her hands. She looked at the front counter, then through the dining room, where she caught sight of James and his friends.

Winn had told Kara over and over to exude confidence when she came in, so that’s exactly what she did.

She strutted into the dining area, pulling up her baggy jeans, and trying to imitate the cockiest guy she could imagine. In her head, she was picturing Mike MonEl. It was easy to walk and talk as if she believed she was the hottest guy in the world, because that seemed to be what he thought of himself.

As she approached the table, James made eye contact and then abruptly looked away, pretending he didn’t see her. He leaned in to start mumbling to his friends, and they all became absorbed in an intense and obviously fake conversation.

Kara wasn’t letting that bother her, not tonight.

“Hey James, hey brosephs, what is happening?” Kara said, a little louder than necessary, as she stopped and parked herself at the edge of the booth.

“Uh yeah. Hey.” James mumbled. The other two gave slight nods in her direction.

“Can’t believe we are all here at the same time, huh. What are the chances?” Kara exclaimed.

“Sure.” James said. He cracked a condescending smile. “Hey, sorry, but we’ve got another guy coming, and we are kinda here for a special thing. For him. So we can’t really-”

“Oh yeah, no prob.” Kara said with a shrug. “I am meeting someone here, anyway. I just wanted to say hey.”

“Who are you meeting?” Murray asked, grinning. “Like, your mom, or something?”

James jerked and Murray cringed. From the looks of it, James had kicked him under the table.

“Uh,” Kara made one of her Alex-pouts, “it might be your mom, actually, I am not sure.”

James snorted, half-amused. “I didn’t know we were still making ‘your mom’ jokes but okay, Danvers.”

Kara shrugged. She was running out of technique and bullshit to say to keep herself at their table. That’s when she felt two hands slithering over her; one moved over her shoulder and the other reached up from her ribs, both meeting in the middle of her chest. Kara fought her instinct to recoil, standing still and accepting it, as a warm woman’s body pressed fully against her back. Out of the corner of her eye, Kara spotted the tussles of highlighted brown hair and a low-cut emerald camisole.

Sam.

“Ooh, baby, what are you doing here tonight, Alex?” Sam purred, loud enough for the boys to hear.

Kara didn’t have a chance to see their faces as she turned in Sam’s direction.

“Oh, hey girl.” Kara said with a shrug, stepping back. “It’s nice to see you, I’m sorry I haven’t really… called.”

Sam frowned, and stepped back into Kara’s space, rubbing her hands all over Kara’s chest and neck. “Why do you do that? You know that I can’t get enough. When are you going to start coming over again and…” she cast a quick glance at the boys then spoke lower, “help me fall asleep?”

“You know I’m trying to see somebody else. Sorry, Sammie. Maybe when she and I are through.” Kara tried to take another step back but couldn’t. Her back was fully pressed against the edge of the booth.

“Can’t you just… not tell her about me?”

“Maybe once I get things rolling with her, k? But right now, you know, I can’t have any other girls hanging around. And she’s gonna be here soon, so you need to go.”

“Okay, I will… but before I do, I need to tell you something.” Sam swung her hips forward so they pressed firmly against Kara, who had nowhere to go. She ran her hand down Kara’s side and slid it into her back pocket. “My roommate’s gone this weekend. Just think about it.”

Before Kara could stammer out a reply, Sam spun around and was off, disappearing back into the noisy crowd and likely headed out the door.

Kara took a deep breath and tried to collect herself, standing back up straight in her most confident pose.

“Sorry about that, guys.” she said, gesturing toward the direction Sam had gone. “You know how girls are when they want the d. It’s like, hey, I am also a whole person, you know? Totally gets boring.”

“Yeah, totally.” James agreed, but the incredulous look he flashed toward his friends told a different story. 

White appeared every bit as surprised and flabbergasted. “Wait, dude! How did you land that? Wait, is she gone?” he popped his head up and looked around the restaurant. “Do you think she’s still thirsty? Because I could go tap that. Please tell me I could tap that.”

Kara shrugged. “Yeah, maybe. I’ll get her number for you, if you want it.”

“Yeah, I want it.” White said.

“I want it, too.” Murray chimed in, earning a glare from White. “What? Maybe she won’t be into you.”

“Cool, cool.” Kara said. “Alright well, let me just text her, now.” She pulled out her phone to pretend, and opened the group chat. Winn was telling Cross to hurry up and come in, so Kara shoved her phone back in her pocket.

Murray and White were waiting expectantly, staring at her. James was pretending to read the information on the sugar packets.

“You know what? I’m so sorry, bros.” Kara shook her head. “I totally blocked her number, because she just kept calling me, and I was trying to get with this other-”

“Who kept calling you, Alex?” Cross had appeared beside the booth, and she was standing with her arms folded, tapping her foot, sternly demanding an explanation.

“Oh, uh, hey Hannah.” Kara said. “Nobody, baby. Just one of my professors from school and, you know that I don’t like to be bothered about school.”

“Hmm.” Cross grumbled, then she flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder. She addressed the boys at the table. “You’d tell me, wouldn’t you? Is he talking about one of his professors?”

The boys stammered, then nodded and mumbled affirmative answers.

“See? I wouldn’t play games.” Kara said, recalling something a guy had told her once, when he was absolutely playing games.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” Cross moved closer, similar to how Sam had done, but in a more affectionate and less-sexual way. She put her hands on Kara’s cheeks and smiled, staring into her eyes. “I don’t mean to be possessive, I just can’t help it. I don’t want anyone else to have you. I don’t even like the idea of other girls talking to you! Isn’t that crazy?”

“Yeah, uh, a little bit.”

Kara heard James choke on something, beside her.

“No it’s not!” Cross stomped her foot. “I mean, yes I know it is, but I’m not crazy. You make me crazy, that’s what it is. I don’t get like this about anything else. Doesn’t that tell you that we should be together?”

Kara reached up and gently pulled Cross’s hands away from her face. “Listen, sweetheart. I’m sorry that it didn’t work between us. But you know, it’s just bad timing. When Justin Bieber gave his life back to God, so did I. So I can’t have your… we can’t do those things anymore, that we used to do, because I’m not living that sinful lifestyle, now.”

“I got this purity ring, for you!” Cross pointed to her hand, holding her finger in front of Kara’s face. Her cheeks began to turn red and it looked as though she would definitely burst out laughing, but she somehow transitioned it into the convincing start of a cry. She covered her eyes and bolted through the dining area, making sobbing sounds the entire way.

Kara made a show of cringing.

“What the fuck, dude?” James asked. He waved his hands toward the door, then at Kara, and then at the door, again. “You told that girl you converted, because of Bieber? And you couldn’t see her anymore? Why?!”

“Oh, she’s just really needy, ya know?” Kara said. “She’s like, always up in my butt.”

“I’d let her be in my butt any time she wanted.” Murray said.

“Yeah, can we have her number, too?” White asked.

“Let me guess, you blocked it?” James rolled his eyes.

Kara smiled. “Heh. Do you want me to check?” 

Murray and James shook their heads, but White shrugged.

“If you think you have it,” White said, “I mean, you know, I could give it a shot. What? I like blondes.”

Kara was about to go for her phone, again, when she heard “her” name being growled, practically shouted, from across the restaurant.

“Alexander Danvers!”

Every syllable was dragged out with a deep, booming measure. The sultry eloquence of the words was an exact match for the body that spoke them. Kara didn’t turn around, she merely watched the reactions of all three boys at the table. They craned their necks, clamoring to see, then one-by-one, their eyes went wide and their jaws dropped. James mouthed the words “ho-lee shit” as he stared, gaping, in the girl’s direction.

“I know that voice.” Kara said, quietly. “Does she have brown, curly hair?”

The boys nodded, not taking their eyes off her.

“Does she have dimples?”

They nodded again.

“Do her curves look like they would destroy your whole life?”

They nodded again.

“Okay. Phew. That’s my date! She’s late, I was getting a little worried-” Kara was interrupted as two strong hands grabbed her by the shoulder and whipped her around. Before Kara could get a glimpse of the cause, she was grabbed behind the neck and pulled downward into a rough, hasty, passionate kiss. She opened her eyes to confirm that it was, in fact, Winn, which didn’t necessarily make it better, simply less-weird. So she closed her eyes and kissed back. There was nothing Kara could do but try to participate and keep up with Winn’s enthusiasm.

Winn’s tongue pressed at Kara’s lips and she grunted a few incoherent syllables, trying to dissuade the action. In return, Winn grabbed Kara’s hands and pulled them around her body, resting them on her ass. Kara gave it a squeeze, trying not to flinch as Winn moaned aloud against her lips.

The guys at the table were repeating shocked words and swears, in complete awe.

Kara managed to pull away. “Hey,” she said, breathlessly, “uh, glad you made it, girl.”

Winn smirked. “Of course I made it, daddy.”

“Oh fuck she called him ‘daddy’.” Murray mumbled into his hands which were partially covering his face.

“Uh, sorry guys. This is Janessa. Janessa, these are some of my soccer teammates.”

The four of them exchanged awkward hellos. The guys, especially Murray, looked as though they were about to cry or faint, judging by how pale their faces were.

“Well, nice to meet you,” Winn said flirtatiously, “but we have a big night planned, so we need to get going.”

“Yeah, uh.” James shook his head. “That makes sense. You look really busy.”

Kara grinned. “Alright, I’ll see you guys around? Maybe at the gym, in the morning?”

The three boys nodded with a lot more enthusiasm than Kara expected.

Winn grabbed Kara’s hand and yanked her away, flipping one last sexy glare at the table, before she pulled Kara out of the restaurant. When they were outside, they didn’t break character, just in case the guys looked out the window. When they got to Winn’s car, she spun Kara around and pushed her back. Kara’s knees gave out and she plopped her ass down on the hood. Winn grinned, moving in close to Kara’s side until their bodies were flush together.

“How do you think that went?” Winn asked, moving her head into Kara’s shoulder so it looked like they were necking.

“Uh, yeah. I mean, it might have been a little much.” Kara mumbled. “I didn’t think we were gonna make out.”

Winn laughed. She put her hand on Kara’s thigh and started rubbing it back and forth over her jeans. “I told you I was going to kiss you.”

“Yeah dude, but that was not even fit for a PG-13 movie.”

“They wouldn’t have been jealous if it were a peck. Come on, you gotta have an idea how guys like that think, by now? They want to hook up with everything in a skirt. Now all three of them are going to want to do anything to be just like you. You’ve got this.”

Kara chuckled. “Their faces. Did you see them? They were… I can’t even. You were totally right. Thank you.”

“You’re so welcome. I had fun. And now I have a cute new outfit so I’m going to hit the clubs with Sam and Cross.”

“I knew you had a new dress. It’s so fabulous.” Kara moved her hands onto Winn’s waist, pretending to stroke her back, but really feeling the fabric. “Oh wow, it’s kinda stretchy. That’s a lot softer than I expected. Could I borrow this?”

Winn scoffed. “Yeah, right? With your tiny boobs and flat ass? Sorry girl, but there’s a reason that you pass easily for a boy. I’ll get you another dress though, we’ll make you look hot. Maybe for when you do your big reveal. That would be adorable.”

“Great idea. Okay, I think they probably saw us, or if they didn’t then they aren’t looking. You ready to go?”

“Oh yeah baby,” Winn said, in her ‘sexy’ voice, “hey, how did you like it when I called you daddy?”

Now Kara couldn’t help but blush. “Oh, I’m going to get you back, for that.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, lots of Kara/Lena!

Winn was more right than Kara wanted to admit.

The next morning's gym session was like night and day. James, Murray, White, and Gordy (who had heard the whole story), wouldn't leave Kara alone for a second. They followed her from station to station as she completed her workout, lifting weights close enough to her that they could talk, the entire time.

They idolized her, just as Winn said they would.

James was mainly following along with the others, who asked insistent questions about girls. Kara tried not to show her disgust when Murray asked for particularly gross advice on how to perform certain sex acts, which Kara deflected by promising to send him a website.

By the end of the gym time, she knew far more about the three of them than she'd ever wanted. When they went to hit the showers, James lingered back.

"Hey so, I'm not sure that all that advice about being a player is gonna work for me." James said, willing to talk now that they were alone.

"Well," Kara hemmed, "it's not all about playing games. I mean, I use the same tactics even if I really want to be in a relationship with a girl. Is that what you mean?"

He nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, don't say anything but… I don't think the girl I'm into would go for any of those cheap moves, you know?"

"Trust me, I know. The first two girls you saw me with last night? They are just fun. But Janessa is a real catch. She isn't the kind of girl who falls for lines. I had to get to know her and make my move once she was totally into me and we had a connection."

James's eyes opened in fascination. "So you think you can help me with a girl who has kinda friend-zoned me?"

Kara bit back a groan and resisted the overwhelming urge to tell him how friend-zoning was a load of disrespectful horseshit. "Oh yeah, bromine. Definitely. I've been friend-zoned before, and I find a way to get right in there and flip the switch, ya know? So the girl suddenly sees me as hot, again."

A smile teased the corners of his lips. "That would be awesome. I'd really appreciate that from you."

"It's cool. Maybe I can tell you all about that, when we practice some soccer stuff? Does that seem fair?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, of course it's fair. I don't have afternoon classes, so we can practice as long as you want."

"Cool, cool. I gotta run home and get my backpack so I'm gonna shower there. I'll see you in econ." Kara offered her closed fist, and James responded with a solid "pound it", then they parted ways.

\-----

_ It's Gouda. What's yours? _

The text response from Lena had come several hours after Kara had asked the question. She wanted to follow up and ask what Lena was busy doing, and what sort of things she liked to do outside school, but it seemed a bit too forward. So she just continued the conversation about cheese.

_ Maybe havarti. Maybe sharp cheddar. Okay, confession. I'm trying to be creative, because mine is actually also gouda. _ Kara had replied.

_ It really is the perfect cheese. I understand why you feel that way. For the record, we are both correct.  _

Kara re-read the messages from the day prior on her way to class. She hadn't said anything after that, leaving it open for her to text Lena again, later. 

When she walked into class, she was surprised to see that Lena wasn't at the table yet, even though Kara was only a few minutes early. She sat and waited, scrolling her phone, and giving a smile and wave to James when he walked by.

Then the professor came in to start, but Lena still wasn't there.

Kara didn't know everything about Lena, but she was pretty damn positive that it was unlike her to be late. She turned back to look at James, who was also staring at the empty seat with surprise. Kara raised her eyebrows as if to wordlessly ask "do you know what's going on?" James responded by shaking his head.

Kara put her phone under the table and inconspicuously wrote out a text.  _ Hey, running late? _

She listened to the professor talk about Wealth of Nations for a few minutes, then felt a vibration in her hand.

_ I can't make it today. Can you take notes for me? _

Kara felt a slight twinge of anxiety. It seemed like Lena should be there, and if she wasn't, maybe something had happened. Kara didn't know why, but she was worried.

_ Is everything okay?  _ Kara sent the reply without putting much thought into it.

She pulled out a pen and began to scribble down notes on a loose piece of paper, copying everything. In her other hand, the phone buzzed, again.

_ It'll be alright. Just some family stuff. Thanks for asking. _

Kara frowned as she read the message. She set her phone down and focused on taking notes for a while, thinking about what she could do for Lena. There wasn't much, considering she didn't know her that well. But somehow she felt like Lena wouldn't be happy with having to miss school.

Midway through class, the professor turned down the lights and put on a movie clip to illustrate inflation. Kara used the opportunity to text Winn.

_ Hey, can you use your amazing skills to tell me if there's something going on with the Luthors? _

The clip was still going when she received her reply.

_ Are you kidding? Just use Google. _

There was a second message with a link. Kara clicked it and fought the urge to groan aloud when it opened. The headline read:  _ Lex Luthor investigated for fraud and tax evasion _

She skimmed the article to see that Lena's older brother, Lex, had sunk his reality TV show profits into fake accounts and investments. Somehow he'd managed to hide millions, and there was something in there about him refusing to pay employees of the show. 

It wasn't all damning, he would probably skate through, Kara figured. It was not Lex's first tangle with the law or being dragged in the papers. Most people probably wouldn't notice this hiccup for the Luthors, if they didn't follow the family. However, it was certain to be a major event for Lena.

Kara sent her a text.  _ I'm sorry for what you're going through. Can I bring you class notes and a beer, or a burrito, or bacon? _

Lena's reply came after a minute.  _ The notes would be great :) whenever you're out of class for the day. _

The next text was her address, presumably, which was a street Kara didn't know. She replied that she would give a heads up when she was on her way, and put the phone in her pocket.

When the movie clip ended, there were only a few minutes left of class. Kara kept taking notes even though all the professor said was that the clip was important and they should think about it. She wrote that down.

When they were dismissed, Kara checked Alex's schedule. She was tempted to blow off Stage Lighting and head for Lena's. While she was looking, James approached her.

"Hey, you reading a novel there, Danvers?" he said.

Kara pushed back her shaggy blonde hair. "Yeah, I was just seeing where Lena was today. And reading some stuff."

James frowned. "I texted her asking if she was okay, but she didn't respond."

"Seems like she's got a lot on her plate." Kara said. 

"Do you think she's okay? Maybe someone should check on her?"

Kara didn't think she should tell James that she was going to. He might insist on coming and Lena might not want that. "Yeah, she's probably okay. You know, missing one day is not a huge deal. If she's not here tomorrow, it'll be a thing."

He adjusted his backpack. "Hmm, yeah. I'll text her again just to see. Okay, see you this afternoon? Let me know when you're free."

"Fuck yeah brah."

James was grinning as he left.

Kara started walking, not sure if she would go to Stage Lighting, or her car. She considered the fact that she had not told Alex she would go to  _ all _ of his classes, and she had turned in the light timing project, already. Plus, she needed to be back in a few hours to practice with James, right?

Resolved, she started toward the parking lot, thinking of a couple places she needed to stop, along the way.

\-------

Lena's address turned out to be in the West side of town, which was a lot of old historic buildings and classic brick homes. Kara wasn't sure what she had expected, but she was surprised. The neighborhood had a classic college-town vibe, with pride flags, political signs, and random murals about community. It was unassuming, and not a place one would expect to find a billionaire Luthor.

Kara pulled up to an olive green, 2-story craftsman style place. The yard was immaculate and the porch was decorated with Adirondack chairs and star-shaped hanging lights. It was the nicest house on the street, but not so much that it stood out. Kara would have figured a professor lived there.

She grabbed her notes and the two other things that she had stopped for, then headed up toward the door.

Her hands were full, so she tapped the front door with her foot instead of knocking, and hoped that Lena could hear it. After a second, she saw the faint outline of someone, through the clouded glass panel, and then the door swung open.

"Hey!" Lena greeted with a broad, sweeping smile.

"Hi." Kara said, half-croaking. She cleared her throat and said it again, this time with more clarity. She was thrown at the sight of Lena; for starters, her hair was down, and it flowed around her face and shoulders, framing her in softness. It looked lighter and more free, and so did Lena. Her makeup was casual and understated, and she was wearing an Illyria crew neck and black jeans. Kara wouldn't have even thought Lena could own something so casual, much less wear it.

"Thank you so much for coming by," Lena said, still smiling, her head tilted to one side. "Please, come in."

She stepped aside and Kara obliged, entering the house. It was more gorgeous inside than she was expecting, and she had expected a lot. There were refinished hardwood floors stretching through the house and up the staircase. To her left and right were wide archways leading into what looked to be separate living and sitting rooms, each furnished with antiques. The earthy tones and wainscotting gave Kara a cozy feeling.

“Wow, your place is gorgeous. Do you live here alone?” Kara asked, looking around.

“Uh…” Lena bit her lip. “It’s kind of a lot for one person, right? I had a… I was living with someone but they, uh, went abroad. For a study abroad program in Italy.”

“I’m not judging. If I could live here, I would.” Kara grinned, then reached out her hands, offering Lena the white paper sack, blue envelope, and hot to-go cup of coffee. “Here, I brought this for you. I wasn’t sure if you would be holed up inside the rest of the day, or what.”

Lena’s eyes went wide in genuine surprise, as if she had never been brought a cup of coffee in her life, before. “Oh, wow. I mean, you didn’t have to do that. Wow.” She brought her hand to her chest and sighed, a short expression of relief, before taking the items from Kara.

“It’s nothing. I knew you were probably having a hard day. I didn’t know what kind of coffee you like, so I got you my favorite. I hope it’s okay.”

Lena had a shine to her eyes like she had been holding back tears, lending even more softness to her countenance than her choice in hair and attire. She stared at the objects in her hands, awed for a moment. “Uh, well, can you stay a few minutes?”

“Oh yeah. I’m free for a while.” Kara said.

“Let’s go sit, uh, in the kitchen?” Lena appeared a bit overwhelmed, not waiting for an answer as she turned and walked through a hallway. The wood floor squeaked under their feet as they passed a half-door built into the stairs, then they were through an archway and in a bright, naturally lit kitchen. It was a mix of stainless steel, pastel blue, and burnt orange hues, reminding Kara of a sunrise.

Lena set the coffee and white bag on the kitchen island, taking a seat on a bar stool and offering the one next to her. Kara obliged, sitting down and reaching for the bag to pull it open. 

“Have you had doughnuts from S&D, before?” Kara asked, pushing the bag toward Lena, who peered inside.

“Hmm, no. I don’t usually go for them.”

Kara crinkled her nose. “You’re missing out.”

“I am, huh?” Lena reached into the bag and took out an old fashioned, holding it delicately, as if it were a scone at afternoon tea. “This looks delicious, thank you so much. You’re really thoughtful.”

“Just wait until you try it, though.” Kara plopped her elbows onto the counter and rested her chin in her hands, watching Lena in anticipation.

Lena raised one eyebrow at the attention, then raised the doughnut to her mouth and took a tentative bite. The second her lips closed around it, she shut her eyes and made a long “yummy sound” of approval.

“So freaking good, right?” Kara said excitedly, practically hollering for joy. “I knew you would love it!” 

Lena could only make more “mmm” sounds and nod in agreement with her mouthful of doughnut. Satisfied with the trial, Kara reached into the bag and took out a maple doughnut hole, popping it into her mouth.

For a few minutes, they enjoyed the treats in relative lack of conversation, only pausing to express how delicious they were.

When Lena had tried every flavor (at Kara’s insistence), she got up to wash the frosting off her fingers. She came back and stood next to Kara while drying her hands with a kitchen towel. “Thank you, I really needed this, today. I know I already said thank you but…” she looked at the floor and squeezed the towel into a ball, “you know? No one really pays attention to anyone except my brother, when these things happen. It becomes all about what a piece of shit he is, and I get it. He’s the one who screwed up, and needs to be managed. But I guess since I’m capable of handling things, I miss out.”

“What do you feel like you’re missing out on?”

Lena scoffed. “Everything? Attention, I guess. Anyone asking if I’m okay, or how it’s affecting me, or making sure that my reputation isn’t getting damaged. That probably sounds really selfish, doesn’t it?”

Kara slid down from her stool and leaned back against the counter, so they were eye-to-eye. “It’s the opposite of selfish, actually. It sounds like you’re the person who is always selfless in everything, and all you’re asking for are the basics. It’s okay to need people to care about you.”

“Yeah.” Lena said, her eyes reddening as she stared at a random space on the ground.

“How is it affecting you?” Kara asked, her voice low. “Are you okay?”

Lena twisted the towel harder, her hands kneading into it like a cat’s claws. “I… I don’t know how to tell you.” She laughed, the sound catching against a wetness in her throat. “I wasn’t even prepared for anyone to ask me that question.”

“I can’t imagine how your feeling, but I do know that when I’ve felt really shitty, I like to eat a bunch of horrible, unhealthy food-”

“We just did that.”

Kara chuckled. “Right, but then  _ after _ that, I like to watch an embarrassingly bad show. Something that’s distracting and you wouldn’t tell your friends about. I’m talking… the kind of thing you don’t even watch on Netflix because you don’t want anyone seeing it in your viewing history. That almost always does the trick.”

“I’m not sure I have ever done that. I don’t watch much TV.”

“Then what helps you when you’re down?”

Lena shrugged. “Maybe… going for a run? I already tried that this morning though, and I am not sure it helped. I’m willing to try your bad TV. It can’t hurt, right?”

“Oh yes!” Kara groaned. “You don’t know what you’re missing. This is going to be life-changing, girl. We can try it, and if you don’t feel better, then we’ll turn it off, okay?”

“Sure, let’s do it.” Lena smiled. She picked up her coffee and took a sip, seeming pleased with it. “What flavor is this?”

“It’s a wet vanilla cappuccino. I don’t like a lot of foam. Is it good?”

“It’s fantastic, thank you. I don’t get much other than drip coffee, maybe I need to start branching out a little more.”

Kara grinned in response, pleased with her successful efforts. 

Lena reached for the blue envelope on the counter but Kara put her hand over it, pinning it in place. Lena looked up inquisitively.

“Read that later, after I leave.” Kara said.

Lena looked perplexed, but nodded. “Okay, Mr. Mysterious. Shall we view our terrible show, then? The TV is downstairs.” She started toward a downward stairwell off the dining room, and Kara followed as they proceeded to descend down into a basement.

Aside from the ceilings being short and the lack of windows, it was another gorgeous space. Kara thought her entire apartment might be able to fit into just Lena’s downstairs, as there were several doors that seemed to branch into additional rooms. The main room was sectioned into two areas, one for reading and one for media/entertainment. The couches were worn, overstuffed leather, and Lena tossed herself down into the center of one, grabbing the remote off an espresso-colored ottoman.

“Here, do you mind?” Lena handed the remote to Kara, who took the seat beside her.

“Of course. As long as you understand, I am going to pick something with the lowest expectations possible.”

Lena gave a lopsided smile. “Good. Distract me.”

Kara shrugged as if to say she wouldn’t accept blame, then flipped through Netflix for a minute. “Okay, I have three options for you. There’s  _ Ghost Whisperer. _ It’s kinda scary, sort of. She sees ghosts. Then there’s  _ Wet Hot American Summer _ . That’s not even a bad show, so much as it’s ridiculous and satirical. They are self-aware, making it terrible on purpose. Or there’s  _ Kyle XY,  _ it’s high school sci-fi, I used to love it. He doesn’t have a belly button because he was made in a tank, so he has powers and stuff. I’m not gonna lie, I was super into…” Kara caught herself, “his sister. She’s hot. That’s why I watched it.”

“The first one. I don’t think I can handle the others. Or maybe we’ll save those for another rainy day?”

Kara grinned. “Perfect. Get ready for plot twists that you will see coming, eight thousand miles away.”

She hit the button and they both wiggled into more comfortable positions, settling on the couch with a few inches of space between them. Kara propped her feet onto the ottoman; Lena folded her legs beneath her, and sipped her coffee.

“I should warn you that I make voices. I speak. I can’t stop speaking, actually.” Kara whispered as the opening sequence rolled.

Lena smirked. “Good. That will add to the substance.”

Kara smiled back. “Phew, what a relief, because I couldn’t help it, if I tried.”

That was how they stayed for 3 episodes; nestled into the couch, side-by-side, while Kara added sarcastic commentary and Lena giggled in response. It felt relaxing, easy, and welcoming to Kara, just like they had been hanging out together for years. It was almost like having a slumber party in middle school with your best friend, where you don’t have to worry about a thing. Except, of course, for the one thing, which was: remembering to “be a boy”. Although Kara figured that a boy hanging out and watching bad TV was no different than herself hanging out and watching bad TV, so she didn’t do anything fake or forced. 

When the third episode ended, Lena checked the time, then stretched her arms over her head.

Kara looked at her phone and saw a message from James, asking what time they were getting together to practice. “Hey, uh, I should probably head out. I have some soccer training.”

“Yeah,” Lena echoed, “I need to check in with my family and see if we are going to make any sort of public appearances, about the whole… thing.”

“I’m sorry that you have to deal with that.” Kara said. She reached her arm up and draped it over the back of the couch, a few inches above Lena’s shoulders. “If you want me to stay, I totally can. I can always practice, tomorrow. Or I could come back after practice, you know, if you want to talk some more?”

Lena shook her head. “Thank you, I’ll be alright. You helped me a lot, seriously. It means so much.”

Kara could see that Lena meant it; the redness was long gone from her eyes and her demeanor was far more vibrant. She seemed truly content, and Kara couldn’t stop looking at her and thinking about how different she was. Lena was far more vulnerable, open, and soulful than she acted at school, in public. Kara could easily imagine her as a little girl: everything she wanted provided to her, except the affection and friendships that she needed most. 

Their eyes met and Kara smiled, which Lena returned. Lena’s voice was gentle when she spoke. “I hope I can tell you something and you won’t take it the wrong way, because it’s not a bad thing, I promise.”

Kara’s brow tightened. “Sure?” They were so close, they were practically whispering.

“You’re the most sensitive guy I’ve ever met. You’re not like others, you know? There’s no way that I could have talked to my brother, or James, or any other guy, the way I did, with you. I felt comfortable telling you. And they wouldn’t have been so thoughtful, so… I know, I already said thank you, but it’s just that you really surprised me.”

Kara felt mild panic, but she stuffed it down. “Well, don’t tell anyone. I gotta look cool, especially in front of my teammates.”

Lena scoffed. “They are douches, you have to know that, right? Hmm. Okay, I won’t tell anyone, and this can be our secret. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Can I get you anything before you go? Do you want a bottle of water, or something?”

Kara wasn’t sure why, but she did feel like there was something that she wanted. She wasn’t hungry, or thirsty, she simply felt unsettled. But she shook her head and said “no thank you”, and then Lena walked her upstairs to see her off.

They went past the little door under the stairs again, and the old floorboards creaked under their feet. When they had reached in the entryway they turned toward one another, Kara’s back to the door, to say their farewell.

Lena slipped her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, swaying side-to-side. She dipped her chin and looked up at Kara through her eyelashes with a tiny smile. “I already said thanks. Can I say it one last time?”

“It breaks my heart a little,” Kara put her hand over her chest, “it was such a small thing and it mattered so much to you. I wish that… I wish that everyone did little things to take care of you, you know? I guess this means I just need to keep on doing them until they seem normal. Yeah, I do.”

“Well, maybe they could be normal, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t always appreciate them and be pleasantly surprised.” Lena said. She stepped forward, into Kara’s space. It seemed like she was about to say something, maybe goodbye, but her posture loosened and slouched more toward Kara’s direction, and she said nothing more.

Kara caught Lena’s eye for a brief glance, then opened her arms, and they relaxed into an easy, inevitable embrace. Lena’s hands wrapped around to rest on the small of Kara’s back, and she turned her head to lay her cheek on Kara’s shoulder. 

Kara felt a slight, brief wave of concern, wondering if her body felt like a boy’s body. But Lena didn’t seem to be confused or questioning; in fact, Lena was tucked comfortably against her. Kara relaxed as well and shifted so her arms were tighter around Lena.

“I’m here for you, if you need anything.” Kara whispered, rubbing her hands over Lena’s back.

Lena gave her a final squeeze, and then they pulled apart. They smiled at one another, again, as they both said goodbye.

When Kara walked out the door, she half-wanted to go back in, and say “fuck it” to soccer. But she knew she couldn’t lose sight of what she needed to do, and that was make it to that first string. She pulled her hood over her head and slid into her car, headed back to the Illyria campus.

She was halfway to school when she realized: they had never even looked at Kara’s class notes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all - first off, I GREATLY appreciate all your warm feedback and honest comments. I have been on a fanfic break for over a year, and I'm reminded of why I've loved writing fics. I have genuinely missed it!  
> Second, I want to say, this chapter is shorter than I'd hoped, and it is mainly set-up. The next few chapters will have a lot happening!  
> The reason being is that unfortunately a few days ago there was a drive-by shooting on my street (across my street, actually) and I've been really shaken by it. So I may be slow to recover and delayed with the next few chapters. I wanted to get this up so I could explain why in this note.  
> Thank you again for all the kudos and comments. Stay safe, everyone, and take care <3

Despite two years of competitive college soccer, four years of lettered varsity soccer, and six years of youth ball, Kara was unprepared for the aggression of a male soccer team.

James was a great tutor, and he took his charge seriously. He spent two hours with Kara, practicing, before they had an actual team practice. Her biggest weakness to overcome was mental; she had to relearn how close she could get to her opponents without fouling.

By the end of the night, she was dripping sweat. It was difficult to conceal her body in a jersey, so she wore a thick thermal shirt underneath to flatten her curves. The result was miserable, but she had no other choice.

"Hey Danvers," James called to her when practice ended, "are you not gonna hit the showers?"

Kara shook her head, wiping her sweaty brow with a hand towel. "Nah, uh, don't wanna squick you out but I've had a round of athlete's foot. So I'm not supposed to use the locker room."

James grimaced. "Ew, okay, thanks for sparing us from that."

"No prob, dude. I'm basically your wingman."

"Heh, speaking of that," James rubbed the back of his bald, damp head, "I was wondering when we could talk about that girl that I'm into?"

"Oh yeah. Can you stick around after class, tomorrow?"

"I was kinda hoping to get your ideas before class. You know, so I could try them?"

Kara cringed inside at the suggestion. She didn't know why, but she didn't think James should be using any of his tactics on Lena. She chalked it up to the recent trauma in Lena's life and how that may be affecting her. "Well, okay. It would be kinda early but we could meet an hour before class. Like the coffeeshop?"

"Sure!" James lit up at the idea. "Thanks dude, I'll see you then. Good luck with the feet." He reached out to slap Kara on the shoulder before he walked toward the locker rooms. She went the opposite direction to her car, hoping her sweat wouldn't soak into the seats.

When she got into the driver's seat and checked her phone, she had a long multi-text from Lena to read.

_ Hi :) I can't tell you how much better I felt after your visit, today. It means so much and took all that weight off my shoulders to have you distract me and take care of me. I'm still thinking about those doughnuts, btw. Anyway I also opened your card and… you really have a way with words. It cheered me up even more. And as far as your question, yes, I'd love to go to the movies with you :) I do have to be at the county Fair this weekend as a volunteer, but after that, I'm free. _

Kara's stomach filled with butterflies as she read it, and reread it, and reread it again.

She had been so nonchalant about the way she worded the movies thing in the card, she hadn't thought of it as very concrete. She had written:  _ I am so sorry that you are going through this family junk. You are an amazing person and truly inspiring. I know you are strong enough to handle anything. Know that you never have to face anything without asking others for help, because that is also a strength. I hope we can spend more time together because it’s been awesome getting to know you. Maybe we can go see a movie sometime soon.  _ And then she had put a smiley face, so it was friendly and inviting.

But the way Lena responded, it didn't seem so casual, at all.

Kara scrolled to Winn's name and hit the call button without pausing for any further reflection.

"Yo, Danvers." Winn answered. "You're starting to have a routine of doing this, you know? Are you gonna call me every night with a new idea or plan?"

Kara grimaced. "Maybe? This one isn't a plan, I just gotta ask you if something sounds like a date, or not."

"What do you mean 'sounds like a date'? You're asking me if something you did was a date?"

"No, not yet. I'm asking if something I'm going to do sounds like a date."

"We are never having a normal conversation again, are we?" Winn mocked an exasperated sigh. "Okay, go for it."

Kara recounted what she had written in the card, then she put her phone on speaker to read Lena's text reply, aloud. 

"Well, what do you think?" Kara asked, putting the phone back to her ear.

"You need my opinion for that? What are you, 12? That's obviously a date."

"No, but, it's just friendly."

"Okay Kara!" Winn said, sarcastically. "Maybe pick her up, take her to a quick dinner, drive with her to the movies, then go for ice cream, then make out in your car when you drop her off at home. You know, be friendly."

Kara sighed loudly. "You know friends can go hang out at the movies together, and it's totally friendly. You and I see movies, and we don't think it's a date!"

"Uh huh, because there are clear expectations about that, between you and I. I'm absolutely straight and you are… whatever. We both know that I'm straight, so there's never any expectation that our activities will be romantic. So therefore, they are not dates."

"Well, Lena is probably straight-"

"And she thinks you're a man. A hot man, who just showed up in her class, helps her with everything, and listens to her problems. A hot, athletic, smart, well-spoken and sensitive man. Gee! I wonder why any woman would want to try and date you, Danvers!"

"Okay, okay. I fucked up."

Winn chuckled. "Did you? Or maybe you actually nailed it, dude."

"No, I definitely didn't. I didn't nail it if I'm lying to her, and she's got feelings for me. That's going to break her heart."

"Maybe it will, maybe it won't. Maybe she doesn't give a shit what's between your legs and she just really likes you as a person. You can’t make decisions for her."

“I’m not trying to, I’m just worried that maybe this is going too far.”

“Well,” Winn said, drawing out the word, “why don’t you see what happens and then give her the chance to show you how she feels about  _ you _ , the person, and not the boy-person.”

"What if you were in her shoes?" Kara asked. "Would you still want to be with a guy if you found out he was really a girl?"

Winn was quiet for a moment, thinking. "You know, I think if we had something truly special, I could consider it. It's hard to say for sure, but I think I'd at least try. Though I do have to say, I’m super into you as boy-Alex and I would never touch girl-Kara with a ten foot pole."

Kara didn't respond, starting to feel her butterflies were turning to mild nausea.

"But you know what?" Winn continued. "We're getting way ahead of ourselves, because you don't even know if Lena is straight. Maybe she's bi. Maybe she's pan. Maybe she's totally a lesbian and maybe  _ she _ thinks you two are just hanging out, and she's super pumped to have a guy friend! Maybe we're looking at this all wrong, and she's a big ol' lesbian, who would have no interest in you as a dude, whatsoever."

"I don't think she is but… I don't know. She could be. We haven't talked about that stuff."

"Well, no better time to get to know her then when you're on your date!"

Kara groaned, again. "I always think you're going to be helpful, and you are, but you're such an asshole about it that I'm not sure it's worth it."

"Oh, it's worth it."

\-------

Kara slept through her alarm and six missed calls, Friday morning. Needless to say, four hours of soccer might have been overdoing it a bit.

Her first thought when she woke up was the “date”. Whatever Kara was going to do, she had to decide fast, because she would see Lena at class in less than two hours.

She scampered to the bathroom to begin her disguise routine. While applying her Alex-makeup, she received yet another call from her mother, as all the previous six had been.

“Hey mom, I am getting ready for school, what’s up?” Kara answered, on speakerphone so she could rush her makeup application.

“I still haven’t heard from Alexander. I need to speak with him, do you know where he is?”

Kara tensed. “Uh, he already left for school. His phone is still not working but… he’s getting to school early today to meet with a friend.”

She checked the time, remembering that she/Alex really did need to meet with a “friend”. James would be at the coffee shop waiting for her in less than twenty minutes.

“That isn’t going to work, at all.” Eliza groaned. “My WILC club is sponsoring a booth at the carnival tomorrow, and I already signed him up to volunteer. He needs to be there, and I need to make sure he can do it.”

Something clicked in Kara’s memory about the carnival. 

Lena.

“What does he need to do, mom? I will just tell him when and where he needs to be.”

Eliza was muttering about something continuously, then stopped for Kara’s question. “Oh are you sure? Do you know that he’s available? It’s very important. We are trying to raise a thousand dollars for rescuing French Bulldogs.”

“That’s… that’s very specific.” Kara bit her tongue. “But what a great hobby for you!”

“Kara, WILC is more than a hobby. It’s critical to our community. Maybe you should put in a little time volunteering once in a while.”

Kara gave herself a lopsided smile and a wink in the mirror. “How about this mom, either Alex or I will definitely be there, okay?”

“Hmm,” Eliza moued, “well I did put his name down, but I suppose it wouldn’t necessarily matter. Either one of you could do it. Alright, go to the WILC booth by one tomorrow. Make sure you are at the carnival gate at least twenty minutes early, or come a few hours early if you want to do any of the carnival activities, okay?”

“Sure. I’ll let Alex know, too.”

“Thanks Kara, love you.”

When they hung up, Kara raced to finish dressing and getting ready. She was thankful that there would be breakfast and coffee at her destination, because she definitely didn’t have time for those options at home.

Despite how late she was running, luck was on her side. Traffic was nonexistent and the lights were mostly green as she sped toward campus. Somehow she managed to find a decent parking spot, walking into the coffeeshop less than ten minutes late.

James was sitting in one of the large maroon easy chairs, with an identical seat beside it. He waved when Kara entered.

“Hey dude, sorry,” Kara blurted out, “my mom called and wouldn’t let me get off the phone until I agreed to help her with some crap this weekend.”

James checked his watch. “No worries. Are you getting something?”

“D’ya mind? I’m starving.”

“No, that’s fine.” James pulled out his phone and played on it while he waited. Fortunately there was no line, so Kara was able to grab her breakfast sandwich and coffee in record time.

She sat down in the chair next to James, settling her meal items.

“Alright man,” Kara began, “so let’s talk about ‘da lay-dees’.”

James perched on the edge of his seat and rubbed his hands together. “Okay, so this girl that I like, right? I need to know how to get her to see me as more than a friend. I need her to think I am, like, sexy.”

“Huh, okay.” Kara sipped her coffee. “So, first of all, girls can know that you are sexy but also not be into you. Like, they are capable of seeing you as sexy, but they just don’t think you’re their type. Have you found out what her type is, yet?”

His brow furrowed. “Girls don’t have a specific type.”

“Says who?”

“I just know it. Cosmo, and guys with girlfriends have told me… I’ve heard it lots of places. Girls might think they have a type, if they meet the right guy then he can change it.”

Kara took another drink of coffee to keep herself from breaking ‘character’. “Think about it this way, maybe. If a girl is going to change her mind about how she feels about you, then you have to try to be the kind of guy who isn’t using tricks and cheap shots. You have to be genuinely worth changing her mind about, and players aren’t that.”

“But I thought that’s what you knew how to do?”

“It is. For girls who never saw me as a friend. But if she has gotten to know you and she’s not interested, there’s probably a reason behind it that you’ll have to convince her isn’t true.”

James frowned, and Kara realized this wasn’t going well. While it felt good for her to correct the misconceptions (and borderline chauvinism) of a guy like James, it wasn’t going to be the way to maintain their mutual tutoring relationship.

“Okay, okay, let me show you.” Kara reached into her bookbag and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. She set it on the table and wrote “pros” on one side, then “cons” on the other. “Let’s say that the girl has identified all these traits about you, here in the middle.” Kara drew a column of shapes in the center. “All of these represent different things that you are. How you look, how you dress, how you act, how you treat people. A few of these things she will categorize right away,” Kara drew arrows to move the shapes into the pros or cons columns, “but some of them she will judge, over time. The key is that when you’re in the friendzone, you have too many of these traits over here, in the ‘cons’ column.”

“That makes sense.” James said, sounding downtrodden.

“Now, some guys spend all of their efforts trying to convince girls that the girl is just wrong, and that everything she put in the ‘cons’ column actually belongs in the ‘pros’ column, instead.” Kara drew a few more arrows to illustrate her idea.

“Yeah,” James mumbled, “so how do I convince her of that?”

“You shouldn’t. There are two major flaws with that strategy. First of all, it requires you to tell the girl that she is wrong about something, which insults her intelligence and her judgment. Why would she listen to you over her own ideas? Secondly, it requires you to actually know how she has categorized you, and what she thinks makes you ‘just a friend’, and she’s never going to tell you that.”

“Okay. Then I’m screwed, I guess.”

Kara paused for a bite of her sandwich, so she held up her finger while she chewed. When she finished, she pointed to the paper, again. “You need to approach this a different way. What you need to try to do is introduce new concepts about yourself to this mix.” She added several more shapes in the center column, lining them below the rest. “You need to show her that there is a lot more to you than she judged you for. If you keep showing up with these different sides to you, then odds are good that she’ll throw more and more of these into the ‘pros’ column, until viola! She will decide you must be a guy she wants to get with, after all.”

James stared at the paper. He looked a bit like he wanted to vomit on it.

“Danvers, that’s… has this worked, for you?”

Kara shrugged. “Not intentionally. I was friends with a really obnoxious gu-girl. This one girl from school who drove me nuts. She wasn’t into me, at all, and I wasn’t into her. We just hung out a lot and did stuff together. But then apparently she found out about a lot of the stuff I do outside school, the more we hung out, and she was into it.”

“So you hooked up with her?”

Kara blanched. “Ew, no. Why the hell would I?”

James laughed. “Aw, come on dude. I know you still hit that, just for fun!”

Despite everything within her that was screaming at her to tell him what a pig he was for saying that, Kara maintained a straight face. She opted once again to sip her coffee as a defensive mechanism; it was becoming a crutch, at this point.

James took the action to mean whatever he wanted it to, and he laughed harder, clapping his hands on Kara’s back in congratulations.

When his energy died down and Kara showed she wouldn’t be anything other than silent about the topic, James asked for a specific strategy.

“Come up with a list of things about yourself that aren’t readily apparent,” Kara suggested, “like, do you draw? Do you volunteer? Do you write letters to the troops? Do you mentor kids? Do you play an instrument?”

James shook his head, his mouth dropping slightly open. 

“Do you do anything outside school, and soccer?” Kara asked.

“I mean… I play basketball sometimes, for fun. I play Grand Theft Auto.”

“What else?”

“I… I like to lip sync in the car?”

She nodded as if that was positive. “Okay, cool. That’s all interesting stuff about you. Now you need to find a way for her to know that, without you being too deliberate. So we’ll brainstorm some ways that you can drop it into conversation. Or even better, have someone else do it for you.”

James’s eyes dropped as if he’d been punched in the gut. “Do you think… do you think you could do that for me? I mean, I will tell you who it is, but you can’t tell anyone.”

For some reason her brain kept hoping that maybe he wouldn’t say it was Lena, by some slim stroke of weird luck. It was like the words “don’t say Lena, don’t say Lena” were on repeat while all she did was stare at him.

James sighed. “It’s… Lena. I know, she’s a genius, and rich, and she probably has never dated anyone who doesn’t have billionaire parents, right? But I’m telling you, when we first met? We got along so well. I really think she was digging me.” He gestured to the paper. “Your diagram makes sense, she must have seen something about me that she didn’t like. I get it, now.”

Kara didn’t know why this was getting under her skin as much as it was, but she had to shake it off. “Hey man, I get it. She seems super cool. And I bet you that it will be easy for you to show her what a good guy you are. If it helps, I already kinda had an idea that you liked her.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and what’s more, I’ve been telling her what a good dude you are. I told her that you’re helping me with soccer, and she seemed impressed.”

His eyes lit up and the fervor returned to his face. “Wow, thanks man. You’re a badass, you know that?” He punched Kara in the shoulder and she tried not to wince.

“It’s no big deal, brah. I got your back.”

James smiled and Kara returned it, but inside she was feeling her stomach knot with worry about how this was shaping up.

“Hey, this is good.” Kara said, handing him the paper. “Do you mind if we head out? I gotta take a shit before class.”

“No worries. Thanks again, man. I really think this is gonna work.” James wore a huge smile as they left the coffeeshop. Outside, they split ways and Kara wandered around the side of the building, looking for a place out of James’s view. 

She found a bench closeby the Arts Center and sat down to finish her coffee and send a text to Winn.

_ Hey, I gotta volunteer for the carnival tomorrow. Maybe as Alex. Maybe not. Maybe I should take a girlfriend? Lena is going to be there. Might make things a little easier, you know? I’m definitely not freaking out and I definitely don’t need your help again. This is totally not like everything else, this week. _

She hit send and finished off her coffee. With a sigh, Kara gathered herself up and shook her shoulders, then headed off to class.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't express enough how thankful I am for all of you who took the time to write me kind comments! It's been a crazy, difficult week. Thank you all for being understanding, and also reaching out to with reassurance. It means so much. This is such a beautiful community and I love being part of it.  
> Now that I knocked out this (LONG) chapter, I will go back and respond to the comments!  
> A lot of things come to a head in this chapter, but Kara is not out of the woods, yet! She will have a lot more juggling to do after this. Happy reading!

Lena was flat out gorgeous when she arrived to class. There was no other way to characterize her. She had put effort into her makeup that she hadn't in all the days prior. Her hair was also down, straightened, and cascaded smoothly around her face. She was wearing black creased slacks and a white button up; similar to what she usually wore, but a step up. She looked like she was about to walk into a meeting with an executive and reduce him to tears over doing something without her approval. 

Then she flashed that smile at Kara, and the whole room felt warm.

Kara wasn't dumb. She knew how much deliberate effort went into hair and makeup like that. A real boy might think it was no big deal, but Kara had done it herself enough times to know: Lena was trying to look good for something, or someone.

And judging by the way that Lena sat closer to Kara, flashed extra smiles and batted her eyes, and leaned over to "see Kara's notes" all through class… the target of her efforts was obvious. Maybe to everyone in the room.

By the time the hour was through, Kara was in a borderline panic.

James couldn't possibly be convinced that Kara was helping him get with Lena if he sat behind them and witnessed that exchange. Although Kara had done nothing extra to encourage or reciprocate the attention.

"So, you're going to the carnival tomorrow?" Kara asked, packing up her notes and a binder into her backpack.

"Oh, yeah." Lena said with a smile. "I'm volunteering, some of the day. I think I'll be done by 4."

Kara was about to mention going to the movie when she saw James walking up.

"Hey Alex, hey Lena. Interesting class today, right? I think a lot about how oligarchy systems could give us all a chance to challenge monopolies. What do you think?"

As much as Kara tried to be a good wingman, she flashed Lena a glance of "wtf?" before she could catch herself.

"Are you thinking…" Lena began, stumbling on her words. "Did you mean politically? Or economically? Do you mean for a single company?"

"Yeah, all of those." James insisted. "All of them should be oligarchies. Then they won't be monopolies."

"All of them?" Lena raised an eyebrow. "So we should switch to an aristocratic oligarchy system of government? Who would be the rulers, for that?"

Kara had to save him. "I think he means we have to enable a group to have power that breaks up monopolies. Right, James? A political action group who has legislative authority, maybe?"

"Yeah." James shrugged. "That's one of the ways they could do it. I think about this a lot in my car…"

It took everything within Kara not to reach out and slap his mouth shut.

"...when I'm singing."

Oh yeah, he'd gone for it.

"Wow, James." Kara said, forcing feigned interest. "You sing? That's cool."

"Yeah, well, I lipsync."

Lena gave a rigid, polite smile and picked up her bag quickly. "Cool, hey, I gotta go. Bye Alex, I'll text you later about tomorrow."

"Yeah, bye." Kara replied, cringing as she did so.

James didn't even wait until Lena was fully out of the room before he turned to Kara and whispered, just as she expected him to do.

"Dude," James slapped Kara's chest with the back of his hand, "what is she talking about? Tomorrow?"

"Uh, yeah. We are just both gonna be volunteering at the carnival, is all. You know, my mom is making me do it."

James wore a death stare that could melt steel beams. "So you two are hanging out, outside school now? Dammit, dude."

"Nah, nah, bro. I'm just volunteering, and so is she. Besides, I've got a boo, ya remember? W-woman. Janessa. My woman."

"Sure. But it kinda feels like you're trying some game with Lena."

Kara held up her hands. "Dude all I've done is tell her how great you are, and talk you up. I've been plugging you this whole week."

He squinted, thinking it through, then gave a nod. "Yeah, alright. You ready to play some ball this afternoon?"

"Of course. That's all I'm about, today."

\-------

Winn came over early Saturday morning so they could plan for the carnival, and the movie not-date, afterward. She brought with her a strawberry blonde wig she had used to dress up as Pepper Potts for Halloween. Her ex-boyfriend Chris, aka "He We Don't Speak Of" had been Iron Man. It was one of those bougie parties up in the hills, where everyone spends thousands of dollars on costumes. The wig was made from real hair and attached with invisible glue.

"Thanks for bringing that. I had forgotten all about it." Kara said as Winn walked in.

"Of course. I'm not using it." Winn held up the wig against Kara's face for comparison. "It's practically the same as your old hair, just slightly more red. I think it will be close enough to fool your mom, and anyone else you know. They might wonder about the color but obviously say you dyed it. The cut and the bangs are perfect. It's feasible."

"Perfect." Kara resolved, nodding. "So I'll get there, be myself long enough to volunteer, then I'll convince my mom to leave. Then, I'll change into Alex, I'll introduce you to Lena, she'll see that I have a girlfriend. If she still wants to hang out after that, she'll know that it's just as friends, and we can totally be friends. Then, I can help her get with James, so he'll make sure to talk to our coach, and I'll make first string!"

"Kara, when you come up with plans on your own… they suck."

Kara frowned. "All of these ideas are solid. It's just a little bit complicated, but that's okay."

"You know what would be less complicated?" Winn asked, rolling her eyes. "If you stopped trying to micromanage how things go for the next week, and you kept to yourself until it's time to reveal that you're a girl!"

"This is all about soccer, dude. And if I keep to myself, I won't move up."

"Okay. Your logic is getting pretty weird, but I'll roll with it. Let's go get you ready."

They spent the rest of the morning doing hair and makeup, watching YouTube videos, and making brunch. Eliza texted Kara at least a dozen times to update irrelevant details of the volunteering and carnival, which was a weakly veiled method to make sure Kara would show up. She was tempted to ignore them and make her mother implode, but did the right thing and assured her that she would be there well before 1pm.

When they felt sufficiently ready for carnival action, Kara packed her bag with "Alex things" and they headed out. Winn and Kara took separate cars, just in case someone they knew saw them, or in case Lena saw them drive up. Winn groaned about how Kara was turning paranoid, but relented to do it, anyway.

It was just after noon when they arrived and the carnival was packed. They had to park in the farthest lot and then walk half a mile to the gate. Kara said she was a volunteer so the gatekeeper directed them towards the "Community FUNdraising Arena", across the fairgrounds. 

"Ugh, more walking." Winn groaned as they entered. "I can't believe I let you talk me into dressing cute, for this. I'm in fucking wedges and this gorgeous sundress, and I have to walk through cow shit and hay for the whole afternoon."

"Hey, I'm in a skirt, too. At least we both look cute, together. And once we get there you can sit in the shade. I'll buy you drinks!"

"No way, I'm riding rides. I'm not here to be bored. Text me when you're ready to change and put on your show for Lena. Until then, I'll be on every spinning and lifting and whirling machine they've got."

"Okay, just tell them you're with WILC. You can have my ride bracelet."

Winn smirked and clucked her tongue as she began down the split path toward the rides, the opposite direction from Kara's destination. "I already planned on it!" She called over her shoulder.

Kara wandered through the shouting carneys, hundreds of children with sticky hands and faces, kiosks of weird experimental food, and the ever-determined FFA livestock nerds. At the end of it all was the community section, where she spotted a large white tent with the WILC logo. At the entrance, a "bouncer" of sorts was checking IDs to ensure only people over 21 could enter. As Kara handed him her license, she thought this may be more fun than she'd given her mother credit for.

Inside was a bit of chaos, even moreso than the rest of the carnival. Mother-types in frocks or sweaters were leading the booths, looking frazzled by the overwhelming number of guests. Kara couldn't make sense of the traffic pattern of the crowd; it seemed everyone was scattering in all directions. There was some sort of human bingo board in the center, and she could make out a fishing game with kiddie pools beside it. Closest to the tent entrance was a beer pong game, which was drawing a rowdy bunch of "Bros". She pushed her way past to try and find booth C7, where she was supposed to check in. Kara followed the letters past a martial arts demo, a Justin Long lookalike posing for pictures, and a wine tasting table. When she found C7, she was taken aback by the sparse and plain setup. It was merely a table with a blue tablecloth where someone sat. Behind them was a thick blue curtain that separated it from the other booths. Despite the presence of this single person and no other attractions, there was a lengthy line of people waiting at a velvet rope, a few feet back. Kara couldn't even see the end of it.

When she drew closer, her stomach leaped into her chest. 

In the middle of the table was an 8x10 portrait of Alex. It was one of his senior photos, from high school. Kara recognized it immediately, as it should have been hung on her mother's wall.

"Hi, um, I'm Kara." She said to the woman sitting at the table.

The woman had that iconic look of someone likely named Karen who would eat at Applebee's. "Sorry honey, but y'all have to wait in line like everyone else. I don't care if you're in a rush. Alex doesn't start until 1."

"Uh… I'm Alex's twin. I'm here to volunteer."

The woman shot Kara a scathing look. "Well where the heck is your brother? All these people are here for Alex Danvers, he's the one on the schedule. They are going to be real ticked when they don't get him!"

"Sorry? I told my mom that it might be me, or might be Alex. He couldn't make it."

She rolled her eyes and groaned. "Come with me." She rose from her chair and took Kara through a break in the hanging blue curtain. Kara was surprised to see it was actually a tiny room, made of curtains, with two stuffed red leather chairs inside. There was an end table with a lamp and a cord that disappeared into the floor. The woman flicked it on.

"Okay," she explained, "did your mom bring a photo of you?"

"I… I don't know. Do you want me to call her?"

"Text her. I'll go out there and flip through the photo book to see if you're in there, and then I'll switch out the pictures." She sighed heavily, as if this were the worst situation she'd ever dealt with. "I sure wish someone would've had the decency to call and tell me you were swapping, an  _ hour _ ago. Now I've sold all these tickets! What a disaster!"

Kara avoided engaging by pulling out her phone and starting a text to her mom about the picture.

"Okay, listen, get yourself set up." The woman said, fussing with the lamp and chairs to align them. "Have a seat, relax, I'll send in the first one after a few minutes. I'll figure it out."

Kara forced a smile. "I'm sure it will be fine." She sat in the chair and found it more comfortable than she expected. 

"Alright, alright," the woman paced, "okay, you're good here, alright. I'll start offering refunds out there, or maybe discounts. Yeah that's what I'll do, I'll offer a flash sale. Half price for the first twenty in line. Perfect!" She started toward the exit flap.

"Uh, sorry!" Kara called after her. The woman turned back. "Small thing. I'm not sure what I'm doing? Am I supposed to tell their fortune, or something?"

"What? Didn't you get a danged brochure?"

The woman disappeared for a brief second, then was back through the flaps, holding a paper map.

"See, this is the WILC tent." She indicated. "And this is us, booth C7. Here, read it."

Kara began to read it aloud. The woman was gone before she finished. " _ Come to booth C7 where you will experience a few minutes alone (time slots depend on donation) with a hot guy or girl! You are guaranteed the kiss of your life from our cutie college students. Check out their photos at the booth and sign up for your time slot _ ." Kara folded the brochure and set it on the table, then she stared at the curtain for a few seconds, processing. It made sense that her mother was behind this idea, and probably had come up with the entire thing. It also made perfect sense now why Eliza had not told Kara any of the details.

The woman popped her head in. "I think I got it sorted out, though I still don't have your picture. Are you ready?"

"Uh… clarifying questions. They come in, and I kiss them, correct?"

"Yeah, that's the idea. It's a kissing booth."

"Right. Is that… it? I just kiss them?"

The woman blanched. "Honey I'm not sure what you're asking but that isn't legal in this state, or the other 48 that aren't Nevada! Ew!" She disappeared out of the curtains again, leaving Kara to her weird and unexpected fate.

Kara felt her nerves firing up, along with a rush of frustration that she was in this position. She would certainly be giving her mom a piece of her mind over this, later. She started to think through the words for her belligerent rant when the curtain rustled.

The first patron emerged. It was a middle-aged woman with greying hair and a peach pantsuit. She looked a bit like an older Pam from The Office. 

Kara smiled, and the 'Pam' smiled back, but didn't sit down.

"I'm sorry, this must seem strange. I understand that your brother couldn't make it?"

Kara shrugged. "Sorry about that. You were planning to kiss him?"

'Pam's' cheeks reddened. "It's okay. He's a little young for me."

Kara felt a pang of guilt that she couldn't pretend to be her brother to give this woman a kiss. She seemed sweet.

"Oh well," the woman said, "the money is for a good cause, so it's not a waste! Thank you."

Before they could further the awkward interaction, 'Pam' was slipping out the other side of the curtain to exit.

Kara pushed out a long, heavy sigh. What a cluster this was turning out to be. She wondered if she could claim she had a contagious rash and leave.

Within a minute, another patron entered. It was a 20-something girl in a tank top that was too small, and Mickey Mouse pajama pants. She looked like she didn't often leave her parents' house, if Kara had to stereotype.

Unfortunately, she still accepted the kiss, which Kara did as chaste as possible.

The next patron was an obviously gay man. He was signaling in a rainbow shirt and bright orange hair. When he saw Kara, he covered his face with both hands and laughed hysterically, which got her laughing equally hard. They couldn't stop, giggling every time they looked at one another. But they still kissed, for fun, laughing against each other's lips. 

It was therapeutic. 

He hugged Kara goodbye and told her it was the grossest thing he'd ever done. This got her giggling once again, and she was still chuckling to herself when he exited and the next patron entered.

Kara's smile was wide and goofy, but it dropped off her face at the sight of…

Lena.

Her face was flushed and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail as though she had just come from a run. But she was wearing a light jacket and khaki pants, likely an appropriate outfit for wherever she'd been volunteering.

"Oh, hi." Lena said, fidgeting with her hands and staying very close to the curtain.

"Hey…" Kara stood in front of her chair, feeling exposed, and wishing she had a place to hide. "Uh, sorry. Sorry that I'm the wrong person. I know I'm not who you were expecting."

Lena squinted. "You look like him."

"Alex? Yeah, he's my brother. My twin brother."

"Oh." Lena's expression was unreadable. "He hasn't really talked about you."

Kara thought that was probably an oversight on her characterization of Alex, but it hadn't occurred to her to talk about herself. "You know, I'm probably just part of the background when I've been with him since the moment of conception, and all." She smiled to try and make light of it, but Lena didn't seem to know how to react.

"I see." Lena said. 

"Did the uh… did the lady at the table tell you that I was going to be in here? She said she would give people discounts."

Lena shook her head. "Maybe she did. I was on the phone in line, and it's very loud out there."

"Oh. Well, how much time did you pay for?"

Lena squirmed, looking at the ground. Kara had seen her make that face before, at her house, when she was embarrassed to share her feelings.

"It's okay," Kara continued, stepping forward. "I mean… I get it. He's kind of a cool guy. If you wanted to kiss him for a long time as a way to tell him something, or see what sparked, no one would blame you."

Lena gave a subdued smile. "I paid for ten minutes."

Kara's eyebrows shot up. Based on the price sheet, that was over a thousand dollars. She tried to stifle her reaction.

"Sorry, this must be really weird, for you." Lena said. "I mean, he's your brother so that probably grosses you out. It would gross me out, if it were my brother."

Kara shrugged. "You'd be surprised. Well, since we have time, do you want to sit down?"

Lena eyed the chairs with a skeptically raised eyebrow. "I shouldn't waste your time. I'm sure there's people lining up out there."

"Hey, you paid, and honestly I'd rather have ten minutes with you than kissing random citizens. The least I can do is give you something worthwhile out of it. How about this? I'll tell you anything you want to know about Alex. It'll be our secret."

Lena contemplated it for a second, then said a hesitant "okay, deal" and slid into the easy chair. Kara did the same.

"So, what do you want to know?"

Lena bit her lip. "You won't tell him anything I ask you?"

"Absolutely. He might be my brother, but secrets between girls are sacred."

"Okay." Lena let out a breath and her shoulders relaxed. "Does he have a type? What sort of girls does he like?"

"Oh, he definitely doesn't have a type. It's all about personality. They need to be funny, smart, caring, aware. You know, people who are paying attention to the world and looking for ways to make it a better place."

Lena nodded. "Sure. What about girls he talks to? I've been hearing he's kind of a player. Does he chase a lot of girls?"

Kara hmmed. She wasn't sure if she should talk about Alex the character, or Alex, her real brother. Or maybe talk about herself. She chose the latter, since that was the Alex that Lena wanted to know, after all. "I wouldn't say that." Kara said. "But he's been known to talk to more than one girl when he's still trying to make a choice or start a relationship. He is open to getting to know people, maybe a few at a time, as long as no one is getting hurt."

Lena's green eyes went dark and she cast them at the ground. A slight emotion, then she recovered and looked back up at Kara. "Okay. Interesting. How does he treat girlfriends? Is he sweet to them once they're together, or just when he's trying to get with them?"

Kara was sensing a pattern and her heart began to ache. Someone had definitely hurt Lena in a way that made her question everyone's love for her. It made Kara want to jump up and grab Lena and pull her in tight for another hug, like they had shared a few days prior. She'd meant it when she said she wanted to spoil Lena until it became an everyday occurrence for her. 

Lena was still waiting and raised her eyebrows in expectation.

"Uh, you know," Kara said, "he is always sweet. He takes care of them. He looks after their hearts, and he would take care of yours. Uh, well, if he were your boyfriend, that is. If he were then he would treat you like you deserve, like a princess, and be there for you when you needed someone. But that's what you should get from any guy, not just… not just Alex."

"Thank you." Lena said, barely above a whisper. "Where is he today? How come he couldn't make it?"

"Oh. He's uh, well, he's worried about soccer so he's practicing. We agreed we would switch but I guess the info didn't get communicated to the WILC people."

"He cares about soccer a lot." Lena deadpanned.

"Yeah, he might have a chance professionally, if he can prove himself. So he's really determined."

Lena's face lit up at that. Determination was something she understood, perhaps better than anyone. Kara didn't know why because it seemed contradictory, but she wanted Lena to see her-Alex that way.

"Is there anything else I can answer for you?" Kara asked. "Do you want to know random facts about him?"

"No… thank you. I think the other things I should try to find out by asking him." Lena said, giving a soft smile. "It's sweet of you to care, I appreciate it."

"Can I ask you something, then?" Kara probed, leaning forward with her eyebrows raised in what she hoped was a look of gentle encouragement.

"Uh, sure."

"Did you have crap boyfriends in the past, or have you maybe dated a jerk? I just recognize the way you asked your questions seems like you're afraid for things to go wrong. I recognize it. I dated this guy Duke in high school who was a real steroidal jock type. He was always pushing me to be more feminine, to look and act a certain way, because he was insecure. After we broke up, I kept thinking every guy was going to want the same things from me. I was skeptical, and you seem kind of skeptical, too."

Lena's face dropped further and further as Kara spoke. She looked at the floor when she responded. "I guess you could say that. Maybe that's what it is. I've only had one relationship, and we were pretty serious about each other. We even lived together, and I thought it was going to be forever, you know? We'd been together since we were 17. But then I found out… there was someone else. They were never, you know, it wasn't technically cheating. But they wanted to be together. They met online, and she lived in Spain." Lena shook her head. A subdued, sad laugh escaped her. "So my ex signed up for study abroad and went to Spain to be with her."

"I'm so sorry. That must've been so painful to you. And such a deep betrayal of your trust. I can't imagine how that felt."

"Thank you. Sorry to unload it on you, that's a lot for me to dump when we just met."

Kara scooted completely to the edge of her seat and placed her hand on Lena's, giving it a short, comforting pat. "Hey, I asked. Don't apologize. You are a good person who didn't deserve to be treated that way, and it doesn't mean that you are worth any less. That guy didn't know what he had with you, and never should have taken you for granted. But the right person will love and appreciate you the way that you do deserve, I know it."

Lena smiled, her whole face shining like a beam of light. "You're so kind. You do remind me of your brother."

"He's a good guy." Kara said.

"Well," Lena checked her Apple watch, "I've probably stayed long enough. Thank you again for talking with me. It was worth it, in my opinion."

They both stood up from the chairs to move toward the curtain gap. When they reached it, they stopped at a point where they were standing less than a foot away from one another. Lena turned her head up to look at Kara, giving a polite smile.

"I hope the rest of your afternoon is good." Lena said. "And I hope you don't have to kiss anyone too weird or gross."

"It's all for charity, it's a good cause. I'm sorry you are out so much money, though."

Lena smiled. "I'm not sorry. I'm glad we met."

Kara would look back on this moment for the rest of her afternoon and wonder what inclined her to do what she did next. It was something about the way that Lena opened up to her, that had her feeling like she wanted to soothe Lena's heart and spirit. She could've done so much more if she were Alex, but as herself, she was a stranger to Lena. That didn't stop her though. She leaned in to Lena's right side, so close that she could feel warmth radiating from Lena's body. In a soft, tender move, Kara kissed Lena's cheek. Her lips lingered there a second more than a peck, but Kara was invited by Lena's soft, pillow-like skin. When she pulled away, her eyes met questioning emeralds, but otherwise Lena's expression was pleased.

"There," Kara said in a quiet voice, "now you got some kissing out of it, right?"

"Right." Lena said. "Now I can't say I wasn't kissed, if anyone asks."

But Lena's eyes were focused on Kara's lips when she said it, and it gave Kara unexpected butterflies. She glanced at Lena's red mouth (slightly open and so near to her own), and wondered if she should use the excuse of the booth and go all the way, just to see what it was like. Kara wet her lips with her tongue and leaned in, still a few inches from Lena but closing the gap.

"Time's up!" A voice shouted from just outside the curtain. Kara jumped at the sound.

"Oops. Better go." Lena said, sounding out of breath. "It was nice to meet you. I hope we get to spend more time together, soon."

Kara's reflexes were slowed. She tried to reach out her hand and say goodbye, but it was like her brain overheated. Lena turned and slipped out the curtains, leaving Kara alone in the booth once again.

Something tugged in her chest. She felt unresolved, but couldn't pinpoint why. Kara shook her head and stepped through the curtain flap. There was a rowdy mess of people surrounding the booth; even more than were there when she'd entered. She heard several men holler at her emergence. 

But no sign of Lena.

"Good news!" 'Karen' said, smiling. "I found your picture and I re-sold all the tickets! Nothing but people who wanna kiss you, now!"

Kara gave a half-hearted smile, scanning the crowd one more time, but coming up with nothing. "Great," she said, sighing, "okay, send them in."

For the next half-hour, Kara fielded kisses from men of all ages. She learned right away that she needed to give them ground rules the second they entered. 'No tongue' was the one most of them were disappointed about, but 'no hands' was a close second. She asked 'Karen' to start passing out breath mints, which greatly improved the experience.

Kara was nearing the end of her first hour when three guys entered the booth, together. She immediately felt sick when she recognized them as James, Murray, and White.

"Hot damn! I told you it's Alex's sister!" Murray shouted. The three of them were all talking over each other and hollering with excitement, wound up and smelling of beer. 

"This is so funny!" White exclaimed, jumping up and down.

Seeing men together setting each other's testosterone off was starting to become Kara's least-favorite thing in the world.

"Uh, hey, all three of you are here together?" Kara asked, prompting them to quiet down.

"Uh huh!" Murray said, proudly holding up his tickets. "We paid double so we could all come in at once."

"Dude, Alex is gonna be so pissed when we tell him we kissed his sister!" White was giggling behind them. 

Kara stood, putting her hands on her hips and staring them down with a motherly look. "So the three of you are trying to mess with my brother?"

James appeared sheepish. "It wasn't my idea. We're not trying to be real dicks to him, we're just kinda… we just thought it would be funny to rile him up a little, ya know?"

"Nah, fuck that guy." White said. "He thinks he's such a player, he's not leaving any of the girls for the rest of us."

Kara's eyebrows knitted together. She had been on a roll with the guys, earning their admiration. Now things had turned sour again? Keeping the three of them on her side was turning out to be harder than maintaining friendships with most women. She thought of an idea, and hoped it wouldn't be too transparent.

"I recognize you guys." Kara said. "You're his soccer friends, aren't you? Alex speaks really highly of you, especially James. Is one of you James?"

James pressed his lips together and nodded.

"I knew it." Kara continued. "Did something happen? I thought you were all becoming great friends. He's been raving about you guys, all week. I've been excited to meet you and come see your game."

"Nah, your brother is a dick." White asserted, his words smothered in evidence of alcohol. "He keeps telling James he's gonna help with girls. But he's been stealing James's girl this whole time! We found out he went to her house to hang out, and he's taking her on a date tonight!"

Kara felt the blood rush out of her head, making her feel cold and frozen with fear. "Uh… that doesn't sound right. Alex has a girl he's been seeing, Janessa, for a while-"

"It's true!" Murray echoed. "We just saw Lena like twenty minutes ago. James asked her out and she told him everything about how she's going to the movies with Alex!"

Kara looked back and forth between the three guys, rapidly trying to think. This would not be an easy recovery. She should have listened to Winn and tried to stay low-key. She knew she was taking a risk by getting closer to Lena. Winn would know what to do, but Kara couldn’t think, and she couldn’t very well step out to make a phone call.

“So d’ya mind if we get this over with?” White said, stepping into Kara’s space. “We made our donations, so let’s go.”

“Wait!” Kara protested, taking a step back. “Okay, listen.”

The three boys stared at her, appearing willing to hear her out, although White was wiggling impatiently.

Kara blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “So, the thing is, Janessa is my best friend. We’ve been best friends since junior high. I told Alex when he started dating her that he better not do something like this, and he had to treat her well. I wish I could say I was surprised, but my brother is such a player. He’s never treating girls right, and I am so pissed at him right now!” She tried to play it up by shaking her fists. The acting wasn’t stellar, but the guys were too unfamiliar with her to see past the over-the-top drama.

“I knew it.” James said, growling. “I knew he would do something like this. That asshole!”

“Yeah!” Kara exclaimed. “He’s unbelievable!”

The guys shouted their approval in unison.

“Okay, then let’s ruin his day!” Murray called out.

Kara held up both hands to stop them from coming any closer. “Kissing me won’t bother him! I mean, I kissed a lot of guys today, so he won’t really care if you did it, too. I know the perfect way that you can get under his skin, and fast.”

She had them now, they stared at her with wide eyes, hanging on her every word.

So Kara gave them the rundown of exactly how they could make Alex “so jealous” before the afternoon ended, and they bought every word of it. By the time she was done with laying out the details, their time in the booth was well-past expired. She rushed them out, breathing a sigh of relief that they had forgotten all about kissing her. They were high-fiving and laughing at the thought of how to execute their plan as they slipped through the curtains.

Kara couldn’t wait to rub it in Winn’s face that one of her plans was a total winner; though Winn would find it out for herself in a few minutes.

Another guy was coming through the curtain, but Kara pulled out her phone and held up one finger.

"Do you mind? I gotta send a text, real quick."

He shrugged and waited.

Kara opened her messages and sent one to Winn:  _ there's a real good surprise headed your way. You're welcome. _

Then she took a deep breath, feeling her palms start to sweat as she opened her messages to Lena and wrote:  _ I don't think I can make it to the movies tonight, but I'd love to get together and talk to you about something. Can I come by and we could go for a walk? _

Kara raised her chin. "Okay, it's sent. Let's do this thing."

The guy was old enough to be Kara's dad, and looked like an accountant or banker. "Rough message? You seem a little nervous."

"Yeah, thanks. It'll be okay."

"Are you sure? Do you need something?"

Kara smiled as kindly as she could. "No thanks. I'm almost done for the day. Oh, I should remind you; no tongue, no hands."

"Right, of course. And I got a breath mint."

Kara stepped forward, but inside she was determined. 

She was going to help Lena see her true worth.

She was going to make it to first string on her team by her own merit, without help from the guys.

But most of all, more than anything, she was going to make her mother regret this damn kissing booth for the rest of her life.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter so soon?!  
> We are near the final stretch of this story - only a few chapters to go!  
> Thank you everyone for the kind feedback, comments, and encouragement. This has been a joy to write, and I love how much you've enjoyed it with me!

Kara had no desire to stay at the carnival once she was done at the kissing booth. The idea that she would have to see any of the people she'd been kissing for the past several hours was repulsive.

She drove home as herself and started her transition into Alex-mode in her apartment. All the while she kept receiving selfies from Winn.

_ This was your best idea ever _ Winn said with the fourth selfie of the night. This particular picture was of Winn being treated to a pedicure, with James, Murray, and White in the background, their feet in individual chemical baths. 

Kara had explained to the boys that wooing Winn was their best shot at ruining Alex. She would go along easily if they took her to do all her favorite things. It was obvious Winn was soaking it up, getting the boys to take her to dinner, shopping, and multiple pampering sessions.

It also got them out of the carnival and away from Kara. Maybe they wouldn't be so angry with her, tomorrow? She could only hope. They were scheduled for a two-hour soccer practice, then.

She sent a text to Lena to see if she was home, then hopped in her car and drove across town to Lena's place.

She was getting more comfortable in her Alex-wear, and was able to pull off a loose flannel shirt over a t-shirt. She checked it a final time in the reflection of her passenger window parked in front of Lena's house, then she went to knock on the door.

"Hi." Lena greeted her with a broad smile, swinging the door open wide. "Do you want anything to drink or eat? Want to come in for a bit?"

Kara stuffed her hands in her pockets. "Nah, thank you, I really can't stay long. It's nice out, so you know, a walk around your neighborhood?"

"Let me grab shoes." Lena replied, slipping into a pair of Tom's that went well with her jeans and the same blue jacket from the carnival.

When Lena stepped out, they fell into a lazy pace together and rounded the corner to the sidewalk. The sun was starting to drop for the day, graduating the night toward dusk. Kara looked out at the street in front of them, loving how the trees and rooftops were darkening against the skyline.

"This is my favorite time of day." Kara said. 

"My favorite is the opposite," Lena said, "when the light is blue and purple in the morning, just before sunrise."

Kara smiled, appreciating the similarity.

"I met your sister today at the carnival."

"Yeah," Kara mumbled, thinking through her response before speaking, "she mentioned it when she came home. She wasn't sure who you were but… I knew it must have been you. She had quite a day."

"You've never talked about her."

Kara shrugged, though Lena might not have seen it in her peripheral. "We're so close, sometimes I forget."

"My brother and I were like that," Lena started, "we have a big age gap, though. Being a twin must be like you're almost telepathic. At least, that's what I've heard."

"Yeah. I used to think we could read each other's thoughts. Like we had superpowers or something."

Lena's demeanor shifted. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it. They reached the corner of the block and turned together without saying a word, avoiding crossing the street.

"So, is that why you wanted to talk?" Lena asked after a moment had passed.

"What do you mean?"

"Was it something that your sister said?" Lena clarified.

Kara struggled to answer in a balanced way. "Uh, not really."

It was quiet again. They walked in unison, both of them in thought, although Kara was the one who needed to provide an answer. They passed a few houses before she was able to choose her words.

"You know, Lena, I just met you this week, and I've been trying to focus on everything with school, not screwing that up, fixing my grades… and I was so excited about getting on the soccer team and the chance for me to play, maybe even move up to first string and be a starter? It's an opportunity I didn't have, even a few days ago, you know?"

"Sure," Lena spoke briskly, "I understand what you're saying. Those are your priorities, I get it. That's what you have space for."

Kara's chest clenched at the implication. She knew what Lena was trying to do. She was trying to field away a rejection. 

"That's not exactly it." Kara said, then she stopped walking.

They were in a space along the sidewalk between two driveways, where a tall hedge blocked someone's yard. It felt like no one in the world could see them, overshadowed by the stretching foliage, just the two of them alone. Lena looked up at Kara with a hesitant anticipation, avoiding her eyes as if she might burst at any moment. 

Kara didn't want Lena to feel this way. 

Especially not because of her own actions.

Without precursor, Kara reached out her right hand and brushed the back of her fingers over Lena's, so gentle and light, the touch was like a whisper. Lena's eyes filled with questions, and something else; more hopefulness than a split second before.

"I'm not saying that you're not a priority to me." Kara whispered. "I'm just saying… you're unexpected. I had these plans of what I needed to do, and how I needed to do it. But then, there you were. And I haven't figured it all out, yet."

Lena let out a sigh that sounded half-choked by the emotion welled up inside her.

Kara gave a slight, reassuring smile, as their eyes held each other's for another long second.

"You're saying… you just need time?" Lena asked, her words stocked with tension.

"Yeah. Some time and… there's some things I need to tell you. I want to be honest with you about myself, about who I am." Kara bit her lip. "But, there's one small thing I need to do, first. Like I have to prove myself, at something, and then I'm free to tell you everything. Does that make sense?"

Lena nodded and looked away. "Yeah." 

In a hasty movement, Lena flipped her hand around and grabbed Kara's, intertwining their fingers together. Her green eyes were still focused off in the distance, somewhere down the street, but a smile teased the edges of her lips as their two hands formed one.

"I'm not used to waiting for anything." Lena said. 

"I imagine that's true."

"But I'll try."

Without another word between them, they continued down the street, their hands staying locked together. The conversation drifted into simpler topics; stories of their favorite movies and foods as kids. Neither of them acknowledged anything deeper about what was happening between them. 

When they had circled the block, Kara walked with Lena up to her front porch. They faced one another, still not disconnecting their hands.

"I have to uh…" Kara stuttered. "Well, there's a big soccer thing, tomorrow. That's why I can't stay or be out late."

Lena smiled, dipping her chin. "It's cool that you're so dedicated to that."

"I like knowing that I'm doing my best." Kara said.

She could feel the pull of Lena. It was the same pull she had felt in the kissing booth, when she found her lips moving in closer and knew it was inevitable. She was overwhelmed by a desire to wrap Lena up into her arms and soothe away all the scars below the surface that she found.

Kara realized a second late that as her mind battled with these desires, she was totally still, staring at Lena.

"I should… I should go." Kara said. She gave a gentle tug of her fingers and they finally separated their hands.

"Thanks for the walk. Thank you for coming over. I'm glad that we could talk."

"Me too." Kara echoed. She gave a little wave, then hopped down the first step. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Lena returned.

Kara did her best not to look back as she headed away from the porch and to her car. But when she went to open her door, she glanced up. Lena was still there, watching her go.

Waiting.

For the first time, Kara realized that she wanted Lena to wait for her. But if Lena found out the truth, would she?

\------

Between text and Snapchat, Kara's phone was littered with images of a wild, spoiled night involving Winn and the three soccer teammates.

After about 9pm, the feed switched from spa treatments and appetizers, to cocktails and piano bars. Around midnight, the images were posted more frequently and less sensibly. There were a few dozen blurry shots of what appeared to be James on a dance floor wearing a cat costume, which Winn evidently found hilarious.

Kara scrolled through them the next morning, as well as nonsensical walls of emojis and texts. 

A few images did catch Kara's eye, though.

She recognized more guys from the soccer team, the later in the messages she went. It looked as if at least four familiar faces were in some of the club shots. 

Winn definitely knew how to take something to the next level.

Her last text to Kara for the night had been:  _ your ideas are ok _

Kara accepted that as a high compliment.

She suited up for soccer practice, which was happening midmorning due to the weekend. She felt nervous about how it would go with the guys over Lena, but hoped that wouldn't damage her shot at moving up. Maybe she would be able to prove herself despite their recommendation (or lack thereof).

Kara hit the field and started warm-up on her own. The other players began to trickle in, but she noticed a distinct lateness for James and his crew. There were also a handful of other guys missing, and Kara was pretty sure it correlated to who had been in the videos, the night before.

She continued to practice with Hastings, one of the defenders, until Coach Jonn arrived and called them all in.

"Right." Jonn started. "So why am I missing seven fucking guys?"

The players exchanged looks.

"Any ideas? No." Jonn slapped his clipboard against his thick thigh. "Well they get to run extra, when they show up. As for the rest of you, I've gotten some news. We will be doing a friendly scrimmage with another local school, tomorrow evening. They aren't in our league, so it won't count, but you better believe it counts to me. I will use this game to determine where each and every one of you starts for the season. So if you want to prove yourself, this scrimmage is where you'll do it."

Hastings raised his hand. "Sir, are we playing Cornwall?"

"You must have paid attention, last year." Jonn grunted. "Yeah, it's Cornwall again."

The players hollered but Kara felt a sick pit forming in her stomach.

"They call it a friendly rival game," Jonn said, "but you all better do whatever it takes to slaughter them on the field."

With the announcements made, he broke them up for kicking drills and sent them back out on the field. They were a few minutes in when Kara saw a few of the guys from the Snapchat videos, walking toward the field. They were slightly hunched as if they were in pain or distress. Coach Jonn stopped them and from the looks of it was giving them an epic ass-chewing.

The trend continued through practice; the late guy would walk up, Coach Jonn would scream at him, and he would take the field looking half-dead and playing like garbage.

Kara was really going to owe Winn something big for this.

Two-thirds through, James finally arrived.

He looked the worst out of every guy so far, wearing sunglasses and a hoodie over his bald head. Kara was running the ball so she couldn't keep continuous eyes on him, but it didn't look like he planned to even try to join practice.

The next time she got a glimpse to the sidelines, James was staggering toward the parking lot.

It was playing dirty, but Kara felt confident that she might have at least secured her spot as a starter in the scrimmage, and therefore a chance to prove herself. She finished up practice with added oomph, giving everything she had on the field.

When their time was up, Coach Jonn pulled them all in for final words.

"Some of you practiced hard today. Believe me, I noticed. Bring that to the field tomorrow night." He grinned. "I'll send you an email with the starting and backup positions for tomorrow's game. Rest, drink your protein, and don't do anything stupid. Those of you who were late today, you get to stay for extra sprints."

Murray and White looked as though they may cry at the announcement, and the other players laughed at their misfortune. The smell of alcohol was pungent as they had worked up a sweat, and there was no mystery about why they were in such poor shape that morning.

Kara gave a few high fives to her other teammates.

She smiled all the way to her car. She would probably be buying Winn dinner, maybe drinks, and maybe even tickets to the theater. 

It was so, so worth it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I understand that some of you think I'm dead. Haha! Whew, well thank you all for continuing to check in!   
> I've been very busy with my book, so this has taken a backseat. But rest assured, it's never forgotten, and I won't leave it unfinished! Thanks for your patience, I truly appreciate you all!

On most Sundays, Kara would sleep late or enjoy an extra cup of coffee while reading in bed. She might even meet up with a friend for brunch, or go to the bookstore and nibble a scone while perusing the shelves.

But this was a scrimmage day.

Not any scrimmage day, but a scrimmage against the boys of Cornwall, her actual school.

Kara couldn’t have slept late even if she wanted to. Her blue eyes shot open a few minutes after 6am, jolting her from a nightmare that she was playing soccer naked, and somehow also late to a playoff game. She grabbed for her phone, groaning when she saw the time.

Kara tried her best to relax all morning by drinking green protein shakes and doing yoga in her living room. It helped, marginally, but she still had frayed nerves and stomach flips.

The text she received from Lena before lunch antagonized her emotions.

_ Good luck on your game this afternoon, I know you’ll be amazing out there! _

Kara shuddered as she read it, hoping Lena wasn’t planning to come. For some reason the idea of seeing Lena put her nerves into overdrive, as if she couldn’t afford to mess up or be anything less than the best player on the field. Kara closed her texts and hit the ‘Recent Calls’ button in less than a second.

“Okay call me crazy,” Kara said into her phone when she heard the click of the call being answered.

“Uh, hello? Dude, is it even noon?” Winn muttered on the other end, her voice cracking.

Kara checked the time. “It’s almost noon, and everyone is awake so get over it. I just feel like the stakes are really high for this scrimmage. I mean, Cornwall guys’ team is the biggest bunch of bullheaded assholes I’ve ever met. The guys at Illyria can kind of be tools, but they are nothing compared to how arrogant and disgusting the Cornwall boys are, you know?”

“Thank you for calling me with this obvious news update. Now I would like to go back to sleep-”

“I have to play them in the scrimmage today, Winn.” Kara snapped.

There was a palpable silence in response.

Kara continued. “I have to play Mike MonEl, and Steve Gorski, and all the other assholes who mocked our soccer team and laughed about the girl’s team being cut.”

“But… they aren’t in your league.” Winn protested.

“It’s a scrimmage, and apparently it’s a fun tradition they do every year.”

“Oh.”

Kara’s eyebrows furrowed and she glanced at her phone with an indignant expression, as if Winn could see it through the air. “Oh? What do you mean, ‘oh’?”

“Oh, well.” Winn cleared her throat. “I guess that is kind of ringing a bell to me, now.”

“Hold up. You knew about this? You knew that I would have to scrimmage with Cornwall?”

There was a squeak to Winn’s voice as she defended herself. “Now that you mention it, I remember going to one of the pre-season games when I was trying to hook up with Michael Trent, but I totally forgot about it. Besides, it’s not like a real game with everyone there. They only allow friends and family, you know? It’s a small crowd.”

“Lena knows about it, and she doesn’t like soccer. Or even sports.”

“She owns half the school, maybe it’s her job to know about everything?”

Kara rubbed her temple to ward off the beginning of a headache that was forming. “I just need to kick ass out there, today. Coach Jonn emailed and he is putting me in as a starter. Which, by the way, I absolutely owe you dinner for how you got the guys wasted on Friday night. They were so late to practice, he won’t let them start for this scrimmage or the first two real games, as punishment.”

“Hell yes, I need another free dinner. What is that, six that you owe me, by now?”

“Stop gloating. I need a pep talk.” Kara walked to her couch and slumped into it, covering her eyes with her free hand. “Maybe one pep talk now, and one more before the game.”

“Okay, how about this. What time do you have to be down there to suit up and get ready to go on the field?”

“Three, but I can’t go in the locker room when the guys are in there so I get there about fifteen minutes early and rush in to throw my street clothes in a locker and make it look like I’m just excited to be there first.”

Winn giggled. “I bet they think you’re such a creep.”

“Thanks, turd.”

“Oh, no problem.” Winn stifled her laughter and regained composure. “Alright, I will give you the first pep talk now, and then I’ll come down there and catch you at two-thirty before anyone else shows up, and give you the greatest encouragement of your life.”

“You’re the absolute best. Thank you.”

“Uh huh, I know. So come find me behind the snack bar and the bleachers this afternoon, that’s where I’ll be.”

Kara grinned. “I owe you seven dinners, buddy.”

“Trust me, I’m keeping track.”

_______

Kara pulled into the Illyria field parking lot, grabbed her duffle, and started toward the locker room. She had struggled to find her cleats before leaving the house, and the more she’d searched, the more flustered she had grown. Of course, they were in the obvious place, by the front door, reinforcing her fear that she was more nervous than she wanted to be about the game.

As a result, Kara was delayed by ten minutes, and she jogged toward the soccer field, hoping no-one was in the locker room. To be safe, she was wearing her uniform under a hoodie and baggy jeans, in case someone came in. Although her teammates might think she was strange if they saw her undress down to a uniform under her regular clothes, it was a thousand times better than being seen in her bra.

Kara was relieved when she reached the cement hallway that led to the locker room and found the main lights were off, meaning she was in fact the first to arrive. She flipped the switch and ran to the first locker along the wall, hurrying to shed her outfit and shove everything into her duffle.

In a matter of seconds Kara slammed the locker shut and turned to scrutinize herself in the mirror. 

Her calves and arms were skinny where they stuck out of her uniform tee and shorts, but she still passed for a small-framed boy. She ran her fingers through her shaggy blonde hair then shook her head to let it fall. Kara flexed, lifting her arms, admiring how her biceps had grown in size and definition through her dedication to working out. She felt pumped with pre-game jitters, pushing away her nerves, and filling her with familiar confidence. Her memory was triggered by the sensation, taking her back to all the games she had played with Cornwall.

The thought of Cornwall games and her old team caused Kara’s eyes to open wide as realization struck her. 

“Winn!” she exclaimed aloud. Kara checked her watch; it was 2:52. The other players would begin arriving any minute. Without wasting another second, she jogged out of the locker room and up the cement hall. In the distance she saw Murray and White at the edge of the parking lot, heading her way. They were engaged in conversation and didn’t appear to notice her as she ran to the side of the bleachers. It wasn’t that Kara had to hide from them, she just knew that they would look for any opportunity to give her shit, and getting a pep talk would be another list item for their teasing. She preferred to have a moment of sanity before becoming ‘Alex’ the cool bro, who was unphased by everything.

She rounded the back of the bleachers where the snack bar was, and stopped dead in her tracks, skidding a bit on the fine gravel under her cleats.

“Hey.” 

“Lena.”

Blue eyes met green and they stared at one another for a long second. Kara’s mouth was upturned in a smile of surprise; Lena appeared concerned, wringing her hands together, though there was a glimmer of hopefulness on her face.

“Your friend Janessa told me that you needed encouragement before your game.” Lena explained, as if this were a rational reason for her to be there.

Kara flinched. “Janessa? How did she… how do you know her?”

“Well, I don’t.” Lena said with a chuckle. “She tried a few dozen combinations of my first and last name at ‘illyria.edu’ until she got an email to me with her number. She was rather relentless… and insistent.”

“I might kill her. Please help me get a good lawyer?”

Lena cast her gaze down to her worrying hands. “So was she wrong? She said you were nervous about your first scrimmage.”

“She wasn’t wrong.” Kara said, her voice quieting. “I am nervous. I’m just surprised to see you, that’s all.”

Lena pushed back a dangling strand of dark hair behind her ear, then flashed Kara a coy, confident smile. As if filled with sudden resolve, Lena stepped forward. Her feet made slow, delicate crunching sounds on the gravel as she moved. Kara could do nothing but stand and stare, transfixed by the captivating focus of the beautiful girl coming closer to her. Kara was anchored to the spot as if she were a helpless boat tied to the dock, and Lena was the incoming tidal wave.

Lena stopped in front of Kara when their toes touched. As if reliving the gesture from their walk on Friday night, Kara felt Lena’s fingers brush over the back of her hand. They continued to play there, their fingers dancing together in a tender game, as Lena whispered.

“I know you will be the best player out there, today.”

Kara swallowed hard, finding her throat dryer than it had been a second before. “Thank you.” she whispered back.

Lena gazed up through thick black lashes. “Every time you feel nervous, just think about how you have something none of the other boys on that field could ever have.”

“Oh yeah?” Kara asked. “What do I have?”

Lena smiled, her delicate features softening. “This.” she whispered, so quiet that it was nearly inaudible.

Kara felt time slow down, as every tiny flicker of light and movement became evident to her senses. She felt Lena’s breath, gentle against her face. She felt her stomach whirring as though she were cascading over the drop on a rollercoaster. She felt her heart pounding in her chest. There was an electricity passing through her as Lena’s gorgeous emerald eyes focused on Kara’s lips with unbridled attention. Then the pull between them grew to an unbearable clamour, and Kara didn’t know who caved, first.

Their lips met in a chaste, tentative kiss. Lena’s lips were warmer and fuller than Kara expected them to feel. They fit together in perfection.

Kara had kissed a dozen or so guys before, and their mouths were always firm, with defined edges and ridges, and the prickle of hairs scratching at her chin. She had never had a kiss that felt like this; that surrounded her in an embrace. It was like laying her head on her pillow after a long day, or diving into cool water after being out in the sun. It felt right, and needed, and complete.

Before she could let her thoughts stop her, Kara brought her hands to Lena’s chin, cupping her face and deepening the kiss. Their mouths began moving, exploring, their lips caressing one another’s. There were sparks filling her from every point that they touched, and Kara wanted to feel more of them.

Lena’s lips parted and the tip of her tongue brushed out for a fleeting second, touching against Kara’s lower lip. Kara felt the urge to moan into Lena’s mouth, jolting her back to the reality of who she was pretending to be. Kara stepped back, abruptly, catching her breath.

Lena had a wild, flushed appearance, as if Kara had ripped her from heaven.

“I’m sorry,” Lena blurted out, “you asked me to wait. I will… I’m waiting. That was a good luck kiss.”

Kara had a suspicion that Lena had rehearsed saying that exact line. “Uh, of-of course.” she stuttered. “Good luck kisses are just good luck. You know, before a game. That’s fine.”

“It’s fine?”

“Uh huh.” Kara wiped her hands on her shorts. “I needed good luck.”

Lena beamed. “I know you’ll win out there, today. I really do. And I’m not used to being wrong about anything.”

“Oh, I know you aren’t.” Kara said. “Thank you for the uh… for the luck.”

“Of course. Remember it when you are out there. Maybe it will motivate you.”

Kara’s brow wrinkled. “Motivate me?”

“Uh huh.” Lena stepped closer, a devilish glint in her eye. She reached up one finger and traced it across Kara’s lips with a featherlight touch. “There are good luck kisses, and then there are victory kisses. You can have a victory kiss, right? When you win, if you want it, you can come and get it.”

Kara nodded, dumbstruck, and unable to speak. She stared at Lena’s mouth, wondering what a ‘victory kiss’ might entail, and finding herself more curious than she could handle.

“Good.” Lena said. Her grin widened with an air of total satisfaction, and she licked her lips before turning on her heels. As she spun, Kara caught the smell of Lena’s hair, like citrus and fresh rain. It was intoxicating. All of Lena was intoxicating.

Kara watched as Lena sauntered away, clearly amused or proud of how she had reduced Kara to a stammering pile of mush.

With emboldened courage, Kara took a deep breath. The kiss complicated things, but Kara shoved that out of her mind and was determined to simply enjoy how it felt without dwelling on what it meant. It was meant to give her confidence for the game, and Kara decided she would allow it to boost her up without her thoughts and feelings going to war. She took a few seconds to compose herself, replaying the kiss in her mind despite her best efforts to steer her mind toward the game ahead.

As she came out from behind the bleachers, Kara glanced up at the stands to see a crowd was beginning to form. To her surprise, Lena was sitting beside Winn, of all people. When they saw Kara looking, they both waved with enthusiasm.

Kara gave a half-hearted nod of her chin in their direction. The combination of those two together would be the death of Kara, without a doubt. Winn was certainly the catalyst behind that kiss, and would keep encouraging Lena to pursue more with ‘Alex’.

Shaking away the distraction, Kara smiled, then she took her place on the field to begin warming up.


	11. Chapter 11

At the end of the first half, Cornwall and Illyria were tied, 1-1. 

Jonn had kept Kara on the field for most of the half, which she felt was generous considering her struggle to defend. Cornwall was far more aggressive than Kara anticipated, and their forwards barreled past her numerous times without fouls called. 

It was brutal, but Illyria was hanging on.

James had been the one to score the tying goal, with an assist from White. Kara had two shots-on-goal which were both blocked by defenders and never reached the goaltender.

She felt deflated as she chugged her Gatorade and headed to the locker room with the rest of the team. She planned to pee, splash water on her face, and do her best to avoid seeing her teammates naked.

As she entered the locker area a few of the guys had congregated to trash talk around the benches. Some had their jerseys off to wipe their sweaty chests. She avoided eye contact and retrieved her phone from her locker, then entered a bathroom stall. Sitting on the toilet, Kara checked her phone and was surprised to see multiple missed calls and messages.

From Alex.

Kara felt a sense of panic rise in her chest.

_ Hey sis, where you at? Change of plans I'm back early _

_ Yo Kara i need into the apartment _

_ Hey call me back I'm locked out _

_ Can i come get the keys? I'll meet you at your car _

_ K I'm at Illyria call me when you get this _

Kara's breath accelerated and her skin felt hot everywhere. What the hell was Alex thinking, coming to the school? Why wouldn't he have just waited at the house for her to come home? It was hard to concentrate with her brain in full panic mode, but she ran her fingers through her hair and tried to go through a plan of action.

Kara had less than five minutes; not enough time to allow her to track down her brother before the second half started. She also couldn't risk going out there where someone would see them both out in the open, together. Her hands shook as she wrote her reply to Alex:  _ I'm in the middle of a soccer game AS YOU can you PLEASE go to a Starbucks and wait for me? Leave campus!! _

She finished up in the stall and washed her hands, splashing her face with cold water multiple times until it started calming her down. Coach Jonn had a strict policy against phones at the field during games, so Kara wrapped hers into a towel and tucked it under her arm to conceal it.

"Yo Danvers, try to play harder out there." James called from the lockers.

Kara turned to respond and felt her cheeks reddening involuntarily at the sight of his bare chest. "Yeah, uh, I gotta press a little more on offense, I know.

"It's good that you know." James said. "You were fast enough, but you gotta stop being afraid to get in their space. Ya know? Make them knock you down if they wanna get through."

Kara nodded. "Thanks, bro. See ya out there."

They exchanged a shared expression of solidarity before Kara turned to walk up the concrete hallway, leaving behind the awkwardness of the men's locker room. She hoped that was the last time she would have to be in there with the team, if at all possible. The less she had to atone for when she revealed her true identity to them, the better.

As she emerged from the tunnel, someone grabbed her by the arm and yanked her sideways.

"Oof, Winn! What the hell?"

"Come on." Winn snapped, pulling her sleeve.

Kara dug in her heels. "I can't go with you, I've got to get back on the field in a few minutes."

Winn shook her head. "This is critical. It cannot wait, seriously."

She could see by the desperation in Winn's almond eyes and insistent tone that there was no arguing. With a hard swallow, Kara nodded, then wordlessly followed her friend to a spot around the bleachers where they wouldn't be seen from the field.

"What's happening?" Kara asked the second they ducked into the shadowed corner together.

"Okay, I saw you here." Winn replied, her voice shaky. "I mean, not you, but Alex. Alex is here."

"Shit. He sent me a text but I hoped he hadn't left his car. I told him to go wait for me at Starbucks. Where is he?"

Winn scoffed. “He was wandering around in jeans, like a fucking idiot, eating a damn hot dog! I didn’t know what to do. I kissed him and shoved him into the bathroom.”

“Wait, what? Back up.” Kara rubbed her eyes. “Explain to me-”

“Don’t be judgy. It’s not like I wanted to kiss him, I just had to keep people from seeing his face. He was literally walking next to the damn field that  _ you _ were playing on! Dude, he was within like thirty feet of the bleachers. If someone else had seen him before me, well…”

Kara felt her stomach lurch. “Oh, no. Did Lena see him?”

“I don’t think so. I told her I started my period and needed to go, then I ran away.”

“Okay, you have good ideas,” Kara said, “but have you noticed that all of your ideas end up making one of us look like a complete weirdo to all the normal people around us?”

“Dude. Focus.”

Kara flinched and shook her head. “Right, okay. So you shoved him into a bathroom? Does he still have his hot dog?”

“What the hell? Is he a small toddler? Does he die if he is left without food for forty-five minutes? Should I have cut it up in little pieces and put it in a lunch box for him?”

Kara waited for the punchline, crossing her arms.

Never one to disappoint, Winn threw her head back and shouted. “Yes, he still has his hot dog!”

“Okay, great. Now you need to focus.”

“Don’t worry, I told him not to come out until you go in there and switch with him. You’ll have to get dressed as yourself right after the game so you can go home without anyone noticing. Lucky for you, I still have that wig in my car, and a dress you can borrow. I might not have shoes but-”

“Really?” Kara frowned. “So I have to get through the next half of my game, knowing my brother could waltz out at any moment and ruin everything? I honestly do not trust him to stay in the bathroom that long. He is probably trying to come up with a way to sneak out right this second.”

“Relax, I’ll go in there and wait with him. Text me when the game is over and I’ll get your outfit from the car.”

Kara leaned back, her arms still crossed, and raised one eyebrow. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

Winn shrugged. “Hey, if I gotta keep your bro occupied for forty-five minutes to help you out, and be a good friend, then I guess I’ll have to be creative.”

“Ugh! Ew, never mind!” Kara threw up her hands and turned away.

“Okay, good luck with the game!” Winn said to Kara’s back with a mischievous chuckle.

Kara shook her head and broke into a jog, hurrying toward the field. When she reached the player’s bench, Coach Jonn was going over plays and shot her a dirty look for lagging behind the others. Kara sighed at the negative attention then stashed her towel, still containing her phone, in a safe spot below the bench.

She tried to focus on the plays as her Coach described them, but her mind was spinning with questions. Kara cast a sideways look toward the stands, scanning for Lena's face to get a gauge on what the other woman might have seen pertaining to Alex and Winn. At first glance, she couldn't locate Lena, and let out a sigh of frustration. 

Kara tried to forget everything and focus on the game as Jonn called out the names of players taking the field, including hers.

"Let's see you bring it out there, Danvers." James encouraged, offering a fist bump.

Kara returned the gesture with a terse smile. "You too, let's kill this half."

Kara's attention refocused as soon as the ball went into play. Fortunately she played opposite sides of the field to Mike MonEl, so she didn’t have to get into his physical space; the thought of colliding against him repulsed her. She was up against two players primarily, one she recognized as winger Bruce Glassen and the other was a half-back she didn’t know, but his jersey had Quincy on the back. 

As soon as the half began, Glassen was aggressive, pushing hard up the field. Kara tried to stay on him but more than once she considered him offsides, though the referee didn’t seem to spot it or care if he did. She was less-concerned with Quincy, who was hanging back and didn’t push the limits quite as hard. 

After five minutes on the clock, Kara was catching her stride. She felt her head cleared from the drama of half-time, and all she cared about was getting the ball through the defense. As if operating within a vacuum, everything began to drop away around her. The sound of the crowd, the faces at the sidelines, the thoughts of Alex and Lena and Winn. The only world that existed to Kara was between the chalk lines.

The shift was tangible.

Kara had control over the offense for the next twenty minutes of play, firing the ball to James and moving it toward the goal, over and over. She took five shots on goal, three of them stopped by the goaltender. She stole two passes intended for Glassen, and three for Quincy. She felt like she was on fire.

The time flew by without another goal scored. They were nearing the end of the half when Cornwall’s offense switched up their plays, running their team further toward the Illyria goal than they had yet. It was a typical strategy for ending a tied game, but they were executing it too early. Kara caught James’s eye, and she could tell that he was thinking the same thing; Cornwall’s defense was too far out, leaving wide open space near their goal.

MonEl had possession and he took the ball past midfield. He faked to dribble around White and picked up speed. Murray was the last line of defense between MonEl and the goal.

Kara dropped back, anticipating Murray to get the steal and hoping she could stay open for a pass.

Murray ran toward MonEl, who tried to fake left. It was the exact same fake MonEl had used on White, but Murray had seen it, and darted to MonEl’s right. It was a perfect dance, and Murray’s gamble paid off; MonEl went too close and didn’t have time to course correct. With a side sweep, Murray had the ball.

Kara didn’t wait to see the pass. 

She bolted full-speed ahead on the field, getting as much distance between her and Cornwall’s defenders as possible. There was no one between her and the goal. In her peripheral, she could see James matching her pace.

There was a blur of white at her left as the ball whooshed past James and into the center ahead of him. 

“Danvers!” James yelled, now at a sprint.

“Open!” Kara shouted back. She checked her approach and knew she had a perfect trajectory toward the goal. She curved in toward center field to triangulate with him.

Time slowed as James caught up to the ball. He was dead-on to the goalie, who was watching him like a hawk, anticipating a straight shot.

Without even glancing her direction, James appeared to take a shot on goal. But as Kara knew he would, he bent his strike to curve the ball toward her. 

It was a perfect pass, high and arching. In one swift motion, Kara leapt, and her forehead connected with the ball in midair.

She knew without a doubt that it was golden the second she made contact.

The goalie tried to adjust, but he was still too close to center. He dove sideways, the ball flying over him at least a foot beyond his grasp. With a satisfying swish, the ball whalloped into the net.

Kara heard the roar of the crowd come back to her just as James screamed with elation. He ran toward her and wrapped her in an ecstatic victory hug, momentarily swinging her up so her legs dangled above the ground. Kara responded in kind, shouting in his face and rubbing his sweaty bald head with both hands.

“Danvers you fucking animal!” James yelled into the air.

Kara couldn’t form words, so she responded with unintelligible barks and cries. She felt White piling onto the hug, crushing her body with an abundance of muscle. After a few more seconds of the uncomfortable huddle, they broke apart and ran down the field, arms raised, absorbing the thrill.

The crowd was electric. Kara looked to see all the Illyria fans in red, on their feet, waving and cheering. Coach Jonn summoned them back to the bench for a timeout, and Kara obliged, grinning the whole way there.

“Come on, come on,” Jonn grunted, “there’s still over a minute left on the clock. Good goal, but you have to hold them off from scoring. Don’t get sloppy out there. Murray, keep on stealing like you just did, and we’ll be fine. Danvers, Olsen, good eyes, you've proven yourselves. You two are sitting out for the end of the game and I’m putting in the second strings. Dinklage, Lane, you are going in. Hastings, you’re going in, too.”

The players nodded and wiped sweat from their brows as Jonn ran through the final plays and defense strategies to keep Cornwall from tying the game. Kara was disappointed to be pulled from the field in the last minute, but she was also ragged from playing most of the second half.

She settled into her spot on the bench and watched her teammates taking the field as the clock resumed. It was nail-biting to see them out with so much at stake. James was on his feet, shaking his fists at the field, unable to control his anxiety. Coach Jonn was beside him, shouting commands, which Kara knew was fruitless based on the overwhelming noise from the crowd.

Lane and Dinklage did their best, but they let Cornwall’s offense through. Hastings and Murray were struggling to fend off the ball. Hastings had one successful steal and passed it ahead, but Cornwall’s Glassen returned it within a few seconds and took a shot on goal that curved too far left.

There were seconds remaining, and Kara jumped to her feet. All players off the field were huddled in tight, shouting and screaming for Illyria.

“Come on! Hold ‘em off!” Kara yelled. “Come on, Hastings! Murray, let’s go!”

Hastings gained possession after the throw, and kicked it up the field. Lane tried to drop it back to buy some time, but Dinklage flubbed the headbutt. The ball was short, giving Cornwall’s forwards an easy possession.

MonEl received the ball, and Murray was too far to the outside to get to him in time.

Kara screamed at the top of her lungs, swinging her arms.

MonEl broke away, charging up the center all alone. There was no one for him to pass to, but Kara had seen him play enough to know he was capable of making the shot.

James grabbed onto Kara’s shoulders, roughly shaking her. She beat her fist against his chest while they both yelled Hastings’s name in unison.

Hastings was sprinting, dirt and grass flying back from his cleats. He was like a lion after a gazelle away from the pack. MonEl kept his path, but his expression was nervous as he caught sight of Hastings coming toward him. Hastings was within range, but MonEl had the clear shot.

“Slide, Hastings!” Coach Jonn hollered. The players echoed, chanting “Slide! Slide!”

Whether Hastings heard it, or he relied on his own instinct, would be up for debate. Regardless, he dropped down and kicked his legs out like a board, executing a brilliant slide into MonEl’s path. His body must have traveled ten feet through the grass. MonEl panicked and tried to get in his kick before they collided, but he overreacted and let it go a hair too early.

It was enough.

MonEl hadn’t given it enough lift, and the ball went a mere five feet off the ground toward the goalie. It was an easy catch.

There wasn’t enough time left on the clock to keep going, so the referee blew the whistle to end the game. James was already on the field, running toward the goal with his arms raised. Kara was right on his heels, screaming the whole way. She collided with Hastings and felt another wave of players crashing into her back. They were a tangle of arms and legs and open mouths declaring roars of joy. 

James and Murray hoisted Hastings into the air and set him on their shoulders. The team followed for an impromptu victory lap. Kara couldn’t stop from laughing and jumping, feeling an electric buzz under her skin. Somehow the success of this win felt bigger and brighter than all the others she had experienced in years of soccer before.

Still, an inner part of her was telling her to rush and get through the celebration, her attention pulled again to the matter of her brother’s return.

As they ran around the field, Kara glanced to the sidelines, looking for signs of Winn, Lena, or (hopefully not) Alex.

They finished the lap and lined up to give high fives and ass-pats to the Cornwall team. When Kara fist-bumped MonEl, he furrowed his brow at her and tried to say something, but she kept moving down the line. She reached the last player and heard MonEl’s voice behind her again, but Kara pretended not to notice.

“See you in the locker room!” Kara called out to her teammates, and broke off in a run toward the bench. She reached down and grabbed her towel, not stopping to see if they were doing a post-game huddle. She might hear it from Coach Jonn later, but she would deal with that when it happened.

The crowd was thick at the bottom of the bleachers as Kara ran away from the field. Family, friends, and students were gathering to meet the players and congratulate them for the win. Kara heard several shouts of “Danvers!” but she offered nothing more than a polite smile and kept toward her destination. She broke through and ducked around the side of the stands near the spot she and Winn had gone during half-time. There were many more people loitering now and using it as a thoroughfare, but Kara didn’t worry about privacy, just looking for a quiet spot to use her phone. She pulled it out of the towel and checked her notifications.

Three texts from Lena.

Two texts from Winn.

She read Lena’s, first.

_ Hey, I’m so sorry! My dad called and there was an emergency I have to go _

_ False alarm, Ill tell you about it later :( :( _

_ So bummed I missed the end of your game, I hope you won! It was actually more fun to watch than I thought it would be  _

Kara smiled. At least now she knew Lena hadn’t left because of seeing Alex, or worse, Winn and Alex kissing. She closed the messages and opened Winn’s.

_ Got tired of waiting for your game to end so I paid a kid $5 for a Chewbacca mask and made Alex wear it so we could leave _

_ We are at the movies. Your brother is a Wookie and a gentleman _

There was a selfie attached of Winn laughing next to Alex in his mask at the theater. Kara typed out the response:  _ Game just finished. I’ll head home in a few mins to unlock the door for him. Also ask him what the hell happened to HIS apartment keys?? _

“Yo, Danvers.” a male voice called out from somewhere behind her.

She hit send on her text and went to slide her phone in her pocket before looking to see who it was.

“Hey. Kara?”

Kara froze, every inch of her body tensing, as if a bucket of ice had been dumped over her head. She held awkwardly still, suspended midway between movements. Her brain raced with ideas for what to do, or what to say, and she came up short.

The guy behind her continued. “It is you, isn’t it. Kara.”

She looked left and right to see that none of the casual bystanders walking along seemed to be paying her any attention, then she forced herself to turn around at a snail’s pace. She had an idea of who it must be, as there was only one option that came to mind. When she saw his face, her suspicion was confirmed.

Mike MonEl.

“Sup, Mike. Uh, no, I’m Alex. See, Kara is my twin. A lot of people make that mistake.” she mustered her best ‘bro’ face.

Mike crossed his arms. “I know you’re Kara, don’t try to mess with me. I’ve seen you play soccer at least a dozen times since you’ve been at Illyria. I know how you run and I know how you move on the field. Granted, you were a lot better out there today than I’ve ever seen you. You were way more aggressive. But that headbutt into the goal? That’s absolutely you. I saw you do the exact same move last year against Mantua State.”

Kara shuddered but tried not to show it. She stepped closer so she could lower her voice. “Okay, listen. This isn’t what it looks like.”

“It isn’t?” Mike scoffed. “Because it looks to me that you’re pissed about the girl’s team being cut and you were given no other options than to pose as your brother and come play for his school.”

“Yeah, well…” Kara started, “okay, on a basic level then yeah, you’re correct.”

“Hey, I get it. I thought it was bullshit how they cut your team at the beginning of the season. It left you all high and dry. I think the school screwed you all over and they should have had the balls to do it months ahead so you could’ve gone and found someone else to play for.”

“Wow, okay,” Kara said, “thanks, I appreciate you saying that.”

“I’m not just saying it. I emailed the dean and told him the same thing.”

Kara squinted, skepticism in her eyes. “You did? Why would you do that?”

Mike shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I? You love soccer, and I love soccer, I get that. I mean, look at you. Clearly you’d do anything to play. I thought it was unfair and someone needed to speak up about it.”

“Huh.”

“Come on, you think I don’t give a shit? What, because you weren’t into me? I wish you were, honestly, but I’m not going to hate you because you aren’t. I still really care about you.”

Kara felt her stomach tightening with a mixture of guilt and disgust. She fought the urge to make an excuse and run the other direction to escape the plethora of emotions their conversation evoked in her. Instead, she changed the subject. “Hey, listen, you didn’t tell anyone on the team that it was me, did you?”

“No, why would I? They would have lost their shit if they knew a girl brought the game-winning goal against us. You played as well as most the guys on the field. If they find out, it won’t be from me.”

“Thanks. I’m going to tell my team, but my goal was to make first string, so they would let me stay on.”

Mike pursed his lips. “Yeah, yeah. Makes sense. Too bad we aren’t in your league. It would be fun to play you, again.”

Kara chuckled. “I can’t say I feel the same.”

There was a brief pause at that where Mike seemed to contemplate her words. After a moment, he uncrossed his arms and leaned closer with a warm glow in his brown eyes. “It’s really good to see you, Kara. I’ve missed you at school. Like even though you absolutely look like a dude right now… I could still be into it, just so you know.”

Kara pushed his shoulder, groaning. “Way to ruin a nice moment, creep. Can we ever be friends without you doing… that?”

“Of course, of course.” Mike said, laughing. “Alright, I won’t tell you how hot you are, even if it’s definitely true.”

“Ugh, again.” Kara rolled her eyes and stepped away. “Listen, I gotta go. I appreciate you keeping this secret for me, though. Really. Hardly anyone knows so do you promise you can be cool about it, please?”

“Yeah, I already said I would. I promise.” Mike said.

“It means a lot.” Kara replied, checking the time on her phone. “And hey, you played great today, too. It really was a fantastic game.”

“Thanks. Can I call you later?”

Kara opened her mouth to give him another rude rebuttal but he threw up his hands in protest.

“As a friend, a friend.” Mike insisted. “We are having a party tonight to celebrate the start of the season. You can come as Alex. You can even bring friends, if you want. Bring that bald guy from your team, he’s a freakin’ beast on the field. But only bring him if he’s cool, we all just want to have a good time.”

“Oh.” Kara said, taken aback. “Yeah, thanks. I might come.”

“Sweet. See you around, Danvers.” Mike gave her a wink then held up his fist.

Kara returned the fist bump then jogged away. She had big things to do and was in a hurry to get them over with.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW! I can't even tell you all how wild and backwards the past few months have been! Suffice to say, I have NOT been one of those people with emotional energy to write during this pandemic and multiple other crises. Thank you everyone for being patient and I hope you had plenty of other content to read. I'll be finishing this fic, now :D  
> Stay safe, wear a mask, and we're in this together.

Kara ran home to shower, then she called Lena and asked if she wanted to meet up for dinner. Lena sounded enthusiastic at the prospect of a “date” which made Kara’s chest clench, even more.

There was no going back, though. Kara had made up her mind that this was the right time to do it.

She left the front door unlocked for Winn and Alex, shooting them a text that they would all catch up later that night. She ignored the six texts she had from Mike MonEl, deciding to deal with those, later.

Kara dressed in jeans and a polo with a brown bomber jacket. It might be the last time she wore her brother’s clothes, so she might as well enjoy how good they looked. As she checked herself in the mirror again, Kara thought maybe it wouldn’t hurt to buy herself a few button-downs and baggy hoodies of her own for the future.

Kara arrived at La Encanta a few minutes early, so she requested the waitstaff seat them in the back when her date arrived. The hostess winked at her, and Kara wished her reasoning were for something cute and romantic, instead of trying to avoid a big scene when she came clean, which was her true motivation.

When Lena walked in, Kara swore her heart stopped beating in her chest. Lena had gone all out for the date, wearing a thin black jacket over a simple navy dress. Even with the jacket on, Kara couldn’t help but stare and appreciate how the dress hugged her curves in the most flattering way possible. Their eyes met and Lena raised an eyebrow, her ruby lips curling upward in amusement. Kara fought a blush, realizing she must have been gawking more than she meant to.

“Hi, uh, you look beautiful.” Kara stammered.

“Thank you.” Lena replied, still smiling. “I’m glad you asked me out, tonight.”

Kara was about to reply but the hostess grabbed their attention and walked them back to their table.

The round corner booth was exactly what Kara had requested, far in the back of the upscale Mexican restaurant, away from dining families and couples. It would be easier to talk.

They slid in beside each other, Lena scooting close enough that their legs touched under the table. Kara cringed at the proximity and how much it made her want to forget all about telling the truth and simply continue with the premise of a date. The hostess left their menus and disappeared.

“So,” Lena started with a charming glint in her eyes, “I heard that you won the game. I normally don’t kiss on the first date, but…”

Kara scooted back in her seat, putting distance between them. “We should talk first. And eat first. We should eat, and talk.”

Lena laughed, taken aback. “I’m sorry, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yes. I’m okay. It’s just that I haven’t been able to tell you everything about me, and I need to. I need to before you and I go any farther, or do any… kissing.”

Lena shrugged and looked at her menu. It was clear she was affected by the perceived rejection, but chose to ignore it.

They made small talk about the food and speculated about what they would order. Kara eyed the beer and wine list, deciding it would help her to have a beer (or two) and loosen up before her confession.

When their waitress came by, Kara asked to start with a tall ale and Lena requested a glass of chardonnay.

“Chardonnay suits you.” Kara said, when the waitress left to fetch their drinks.

“Oh yeah, how is that?”

Kara grinned. “It’s versatile, bold, and adaptive. It’s also dry.”

Lena threw her head back and gave a hearty laugh. “Are you a sommelier, now? Will you be providing me with tasting notes?”

“I was about to recommend you order the fish, yeah.” Kara said with her most-charming grin.

“You know your pairings. Of course, so do I, and I never intended to order anything besides the fish.” Lena reached over and placed her hand lightly on Kara’s forearm for a fleeting second, then pulled it away to sip from her water glass.

“So, what was the emergency, earlier?” Kara asked.

“Oh.” Lena swallowed and rolled her eyes. “How close are you, with your sister? Do you drop everything if she needs you?”

“Uh, is there a right answer? I wish I could say ‘no’, but it wouldn’t be very honest. Especially lately.”

“If there were a right answer, I don’t know what it is, either.” Lena let out a long sigh. “My brother’s financial difficulty is indicative of some larger problems. He has this persona in the media as a relentless bad boy, but there’s a lot more to it than that. He’s brilliant, and that level of genius comes with a fair share of insecurity and pain. Sometimes we don’t know how he will act out, or what lengths he will go to. He goes through stages where he is worse, or better, but there’s no predicting his actions, every time. Sometimes he scares us by making threats, especially toward our parents. Unfortunately for me, he never lies to me about what he plans to do.”

“So you have to talk him down?”

Lena’s green eyes darkened. “I guess you could call it that, yeah. I talk to him for a while, get him to explain where he’s coming from, and we work through it. I don’t mind being there for him, but it can interfere with my life. I wish that my parents would do more to try and get him the professional help he needs, but they are afraid of how it would look.”

“I have no idea what it’s like to be in the public eye, like you are.” Kara stated.

“Truthfully? It’s ruined our lives in more ways than it’s helped us. I question everything I do and how the perception will be. I had to hide a lot of things about myself for a long time, until it became second nature.”

Kara wondered what Lena might mean about hiding herself, but she felt afraid to ask.

Lena shook her head, chuckling in a dry way. “I’m sorry, I am making this a lot heavier than it should be for date conversation.”

“No, no. This is perfect date conversation. What is more important than getting to know each other, for real?”

“Well, I’d like to save some of the surprises for later. There should still be some element of mystery, right?”

“Are you saying you’ll show me where you hide your victims’ bodies on the second date?”

Lena laughed, again. Before she could respond, the waitress appeared with their drinks and copious amounts of chips and salsa. She took their food orders then left them again.

“This could be our whole meal, right here.” Kara remarked. “I’m not sure I’ll leave room for my chicken dish.”

“I’m fine with it. Chips and salsa are full of vegetables and wine is a fruit, so this is basically health food.”

Kara giggled and shoved chips into her mouth like their food would never come. She was starving from expending her energy on the soccer field and had been waiting hours to eat.

As if reading her mind, Lena asked about the game. Kara recounted it, in great detail, going through all the plays in the second half. When she got to the part where MonEl tried to get past Murray, Lena covered her mouth, drawn into the suspense. Kara hadn’t realized how long she had been talking about the game until the waitress arrived with their food, interrupting the account just before Kara got to the game-winning goal.

When the waitress was gone again, Kara resumed the tale.

“So, Murray sent it way past both of us-”

“Who? You and James?”

“Yeah, past James, which was great. Because Cornwall had their defense all of the way up toward midfield, and they couldn’t catch us. James and I were running full speed, like sprinting, more or less.”

Lena clenched her fists and held them to her chest, breathing faster in anticipation.

“So, I see the ball in front of James, and then he kicks it,” Kara used her fingers to mimic the ball flying through the air toward her other hand, “I hit it with a headbutt, like this, and bam! It goes straight past the goalie, he never had a chance!”

Lena squealed and grabbed Kara by the shoulders, shaking her. In her excitement, Lena slapped both her hands against Kara’s chest, causing Kara to wince before she could stop herself.

“Oh, sorry, did I hit you too hard?” Lena asked, holding both her hands suspended in mid-air.

Kara hunched forward. “Uh, it’s fine. I have a bruise there, from earlier. I got uh, I fell on one of the player’s knees. I guess it still hurts.”

“Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah.” Kara scoffed. “I’ll be fine. Beer will help!” On cue she grabbed for her glass and slammed it back. In a few gulps, Kara had downed half the drink.

“Damn, cowboy. Is that how we’re doing things?”

Kara wiped a smidge of foam from her upper lip. “Ya know, a lot to celebrate. It was my first game, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be first string permanently, now.”

Lena smiled. “That’s what you wanted. I’m so happy for you.”

“It is, it is.” Kara said, staring into her glass. “Making first string was important to me, because I needed to prove that I could play just as well as the boys.” Kara looked up and caught Lena’s eyes, steadying herself and digging deep to find the courage for what she needed to say.

“You mean James and his friends?” Lena asked. “I’m sure it’s about more than that, to you.”

“No, what I mean is, I couldn’t stay on the team if I weren’t good enough, because of who I am.”

“I don’t understand,” Lena’s brow furrowed.

“Everything tasting all right, here?” the waitress asked, appearing beside the table.

Lena and Kara nodded in unison, mumbling that it was fine, though neither of them had touched their food yet. The waitress was satisfied and trapsed off at the same speed she had arrived.

“You know,” Kara said, picking up her fork, “let’s not talk about sports, anymore. I’m starving, how about you?”

“I’m with you.” Lena agreed. 

They both took a few bites of their dinners, then tasted each other’s, and chatted about their favorite foods. Somehow they got on the subject of booze and recalling the worst hangovers they'd ever had. That led them to talk about party regrets, which Kara had many. Lena admitted she avoided most parties, due to the risk that her picture would end up in a trashy magazine. 

"Tabloids look for me to mess up," Lena explained, "it would be a lot juicier if they could sell the idea that our whole family is a dumpster fire, by catching me doing something stupid. When my brother parties, it's just run of the mill. If I partied, it would be on every gossip magazine the next day."

"I'm sorry you don't have freedom," Kara said, "everyone should get a chance to party or make mistakes, even dumb ones. It's part of growing up, you know, the college experience."

Lena chuckled and shook her head. "Don't judge me, please? This sounds so trivial, but I do wish I had the chance to experience some of that, even though I know it's stupid and juvenile."

Kara was quiet for a moment. She thought about the phone that had been buzzing in her pocket for at least the past hour. She thought about the ideas that Winn kept throwing her way that kept getting more complicated. She thought about the weight of her secret and how Lena must feel bogged down with a repression so heavy that Kara couldn't even imagine how it felt. She wanted to help. She always wanted to help.

"Are you judging me?" Lena asked, softly, "you're so quiet all of a sudden."

"No, sorry." Kara replied, shaking away her thoughts. "I remembered something and I was trying to decide how I felt about it."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, well," Kara continued, "this guy who I know through my sister is having a party tonight. Everyone from the soccer game will be there, and my friend Janessa, you know. Good people. It would be a safe place if you wanted to enjoy yourself. There wouldn't be paparazzi or anything like that."

Lena hinted a smile. "Were you planning on going?"

"I was on the fence."

"I don't want you to go simply because you feel obligated to give me a 'party' experience. I've gone this long without one, I'm sure I can survive."

Kara felt the beer warming her senses and telling her to unwind. Deeper in her core it was saying to get Lena to unwind, too. "I really want to go, and I think you should go. I'll watch out for you."

"Thank you, but you never know. Anyone could take a selfie and turn around sell it, even if they are your friends."

Kara shook her head. "You can leave it to me. I'll ask MonEl to make it a phone bucket party, I know he won't mind."

"Then that settles it," Lena said, with a nod. "Should I go home and change, first?"

Kara eyed the outfit once again, starting to flush. Now that they were seated so close together, the top bodice of Lena's dress hung loose and slightly open, revealing more cleavage than Kara had noticed a moment before. She had a flash of an unsolicited image in her mind; Kara's lips tracing along the edge of the fabric and Lena's body arching in response.

Kara grabbed her ice water and took a large, sudden chug. She shook her head and swallowed. "That dress is fine."

Lena had a knowing smirk on her face as she returned her attention to her meal and they ate together in peaceful quiet for the next few minutes.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thank you SO MUCH to all of you who have commented and reached out to welcome me back from my long break! I can't even tell you how awesome it feels to write again and to read your comments!  
> And thanks again for your patience with this fic. I'm glad you're loving it enough to come back and read it again, or continue to read!  
> I've added a few scenes to make this just a little bit longer, so expect at least 2 more chapters, after this.

When dinner was over and they were walking to the parking lot, Lena slipped her hand into Kara's. Their fingers stayed intertwined until they were out on the restaurant landing. It felt right, holding Lena's hand; Kara didn't want to do anything to ruin this and she wished she could know for sure that her secret wouldn't.

Kara admitted aloud that she was a little buzzed from the beers and it was probably best if they got a ride to the party, especially if they were planning to drink more upon arrival. Lena laughed kindly at the suggestion, but insisted that was what Uber was for. 15 minutes later, they were slipping into the backseat of a blue sedan driven by "Desi", to whom Kara provided MonEl's address. 

The second the car started rolling, Lena shifted so she was pressed tight into Kara's side and leaned in to whisper: "I promised you something."

"What's that?" Kara asked. When she turned her head toward Lena their noses bumped due to the proximity. 

"Your victory kiss," Lena smiled.

The interior was illuminated by headlights from a passing car, then it was surprisingly dark. In the backseat shadows, Kara felt Lena move across the remaining gap between them. Lena was so close that Kara could feel warm breath on her cheeks for a moment, as if waiting to go that final inch to connect their mouths was blissful torture. Kara could even hear Lena's breath quicken with excitement, and it sent a pulse of arousal through her like lightning.

Kara took one long, deep breath, and then Lena's lips were pressed against hers, like it was an inevitable force that they were commanded under. Kara returned the kiss with reservation; her fear over what she had to tell Lena growing from a whisper to a roar deep in her mind. The kisses Kara gave were short, close-mouthed, almost chaste.

But Lena had enough determination for the both of them.

Kara felt the insistence of Lena's tongue, and she couldn't resist parting her lips to allow access. Giving in felt as if Kara had swung open a door that wouldn't be shut again, and Lena was encouraged. Lena's hands gripped the back of Kara's neck, eager fingertips rubbing at the blonde locks of hair. Kara could taste the sweet hint of wine as Lena's tongue caressed her own. 

This was certainly a different kiss than Lena had given her at the soccer field. This was an energy that buzzed through them, filling Kara with a new layer of intoxication. 

Lena dipped her tongue into Kara's mouth once more in a fleeting motion, teasing, then she pulled back to put mere centimeters of space between their skin. If she intended to make Kara give chase, then it worked. Kara brought her hand to Lena's cheek and stroked her jaw with tender urgency, holding Lena steady as Kara leaned forward and passionately stole the next kiss. Kara tried not to think about how much she wanted her hands to wander down Lena's body. She tried not to think about how Lena would feel underneath her. She tried not to think about sliding her hands up milky white thighs beneath that dress…

Kara gently bit Lena's lower lip, eliciting a quiet, but detectable moan. 

Without missing a beat, Desi the driver increased the radio volume to drown them out. Something random was playing, but after a moment Desi must have switched it, and  _ Outta My Head  _ by Khalid came through the speakers. 

Kara was going to tip that Uber driver at least $30, that was for damn sure.

Lena's hands slid down Kara's neck and to the collar of her jacket, pushing it back. As they continued to kiss, Lena's hands began exploring over Kara's shoulders and chest, making Kara nervous and aware of curves she couldn't disguise to fingertips. To deflect, Kara broke the kiss and trailed her mouth along Lena's jawline.

"Alex?" Lena whispered.

Kara's heart sank at the name, but she kissed under Lena's ear and muttered back a sound of affirmation.

"I have to tell you something," Lena continued.

Kara pulled back, leaving a few inches between them. Her hands slid down Lena's shoulders and their hands joined in Kara's lap, resting there. 

"I have to tell you something, too." Kara said. 

Lena sighed, "I don't want to fuck this up."

"Trust me, whatever it is, you won't be fucking up anything."

Lena laughed, but her eyes were filled with doubt, visible even in the faint light from the dashboard. 

"How about this," Kara proposed, "we'll get to this party, we'll grab a few drinks, we'll dance a little bit. Then we'll do a few shots and go into a bedroom or something, and we'll both blurt out our secrets at the exact same time."

Lena grinned, stifling a laugh. "Yeah, okay. I can do that."

"Good, it's a plan," Kara said, thinking how she wished Winn were there to applaud her for coming up with a great and simple plan, for once.

Lena nodded, then leaned in to place one chaste, sweet kiss on the corner of Kara's mouth. "I know this is silly," she whispered while staying close, "but I'm kinda into you. I'm not usually into… anyone like you."

Kara bit her lip. "Yeah, the dumb jock vibe will wear off when soccer season ends, I swear."

"That's not what I meant, but I do look forward to getting to know all the other sides of you."

Kara grinned, "I hope you will."

From the front seat, Desi turned the music down and spoke over it. "I've circled the block a few times, but it looks like you're done making out so… do you want me to stop, yet?"

Lena and Kara both burst into embarrassed laughter.

"Yeah," Kara muttered, "thanks Desi. You can drop us off, now."

"Cool with me, either way." Desi replied, pulling over outside a large house surrounded by parked cars.

Lena had covered her face with her hands in embarrassment, but dropped them to peer at Kara. "Whatever you're tipping Desi, I'm doubling it," Lena whispered.

Kara nodded, reaching for her wallet.

In all, they likely paid Desi with enough 'guilt and shame' money to justify taking the rest of the night off.

When they got out of the car, Lena went to place her hand in Kara's, but Kara stopped in the driveway and turned to her.

"I know," Lena blurted out first, "James, right?"

Kara cringed, "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to protect his feelings or anything-"

"You don't have to explain. I don't want to make something weird for you before we're even... Can I just hold your hand until we get to the door?"

Kara beamed, practically blushing. "You really are cool as fuck, you know that?"

"Well, thank you?"

"I mean it," Kara said, squeezing Lena's hand and stepping toward the door once more. As they neared the porch, the sounds of a party were evident; thumping bass, loud voices and echoing laughter. Kara felt Lena's grip tighten, anticipation practically radiating from her in nervous waves of energy.

"Ready?" Kara muttered. She reached for the door and turned the knob, stepping through as Lena let go of her hand. They walked in together, but separately, Kara longing for a time when she could let everyone see her with Lena. But in that fantasy, Kara wanted it to be the _ real _ her.

"Danvers!" MonEl exclaimed, rushing across a living room filled with half-drunk coeds. "I didn't think you'd make it, rock star. Too good for us with your big goal, huh?"

Kara shrugged, "Hey, can we talk really quick?"

"Sure," MonEl glanced at Lena with a raised eyebrow, "hey, I'm Mike, excuse us please?" 

MonEl motioned for Kara to follow, then he stepped out of the foyer into an archway. He and Kara leaned in and she spoke as quietly as the background noise would allow. "Is there any way you could make this a phone bucket party? I can't be seen in two places at once, ya know?"

MonEl had an amused expression, "I'm not sure how I'll justify that one to the guys."

Kara paused for a moment, then a memory popped into her mind as if it were fate. "We just had four players lose their starting positions because they were drinking. They can't afford to have more drunk pics on Snapchat."

"Okay," MonEl conceded, "I'll do my best."

Kara offered her fist to pound out of habit; MonEl stared at it then shook his head and walked away.

When Kara went back to the foyer, Lena had disappeared, likely absorbed into the party. With a heavy sigh, Kara followed suit, praying none of the Cornwall jocks would heckle her too hard now that they were off the field. 

MonEl shared a house with three other guys, all of them from wealthy families, and it showed. The house was a constant party house, yet it was exquisitely furnished and designer decorated. Kara recognized a Kelston sofa with a few sloppy drunk boys draped across it, precariously close to spilling their solo cups of beer.  _ Real Love  _ by Clean Bandit was playing, and the bass hit so hard Kara could feel it in her chest. She'd been to enough parties like this as herself, but never as a boy. Suddenly Kara's heart sped and her mouth went dry, as she reevaluated the room with this fresh perspective.

Boys.

Laughing low, puffing their chests, slamming beers, talking shit, burping aloud, swapping tales, comparing muscles, ripping each other down… brutal testosterone was out in full force, and Kara was unprepared.

"I can do this," Kara mumbled under her breath, "it's just like the soccer field… with alcohol."

As if on cue, a familiar voice shouted from the corner: "DANVERS! That's my boy, motherfuckers!"

James. 

Kara threw herself into her persona, raising her hands in the air and whooping back at him. 

"You should have seen this beast on the field, today!" James exclaimed, earning groans from the guys around them; they had all been on the field, too. Some of them had been on the losing team.

Kara spotted the kitchen to her right and made a beeline for it. She was much too sober for this experience.

The first thing she saw was a countertop covered in jello shots of every color imaginable. This was a dead giveaway that the party was never intended to be the "small get-together" that MonEl had promised. Regardless, Kara grabbed for a little plastic cup of pinkish gel, licked the inside in a quick circular motion, and slammed it into her mouth. 

"You better catch up," Lena's voice said in her ear, "I'm three ahead of you, already."

Kara turned to see Lena behind her, holding up two more jello shots.

"Oh," Kara swallowed with a lurch, "but that tasted disgusting."

"Trust me, the green ones are better. That's why I saved you the last two."

Kara grinned. She had the overwhelming urge to reach out and sweep Lena up into a kiss, but she had a million reasons she couldn't. Instead, she accepted the tiny shot cups with a nod.

"I hope these don't come back up later," Kara said, studying the green goo.

"At least it will be the same consistency s when it went down." Lena quipped.

Before Kara could take the shot, MonEl came around the corner, holding out a sand pail.

"Ladies," MonEl began, then his eyes widened, "and gentlemen. Everyone, really, I'm inclusive of all genders. We are gathering phones, so, please add yours to this bucket."

Lena flashed Kara a grateful, impressed expression. Kara breathed a sigh of relief that Lena hadn't noticed the blundering weirdness on MonEl's part. Seriously, how hard was it to pretend Kara was Alex? Winn managed without a hiccup, on the regular.

"I assume I'll be getting this back?" Lena cooed, dropping her phone into the bucket.

MonEl raised his right hand, "Scout's honor."

"He's not a scout," Kara quipped, "but I'll kick his ass if he doesn't uphold his promises." She punctuated this veiled threat with a glare, and the raised eyebrow she received in return showed that MonEl understood perfectly.

"I do what I say I'll do." MonEl mumbled before scurrying out of the kitchen. 

Lena redirected her attention to the shots in Kara's hands. "You're going to take those, right?"

Kara wasted no time and slammed the two shots. She tossed the cups into a precariously-high trash bin and picked up a beer for a chaser. "Want one?"

Lena nodded and accepted the drink. "Are you buzzed yet?"

"I need two minutes," Kara replied, shuddering, "but those shots will kick in, I'm sure."

"Good. C'mon." Lena tilted her head toward the back of the kitchen and started through a dark doorway there.

Kara glanced around and noticed Murray seemed to be paying them some attention from where he stood, near the fridge. When their eyes met, Murray nodded upward in a masculine "sup" greeting, which Kara returned. He looked at the doorway Lena had walked through, then back at Kara with interest. She could tell she may have damage control to do later, but it wouldn't be anything more dramatic than she'd been doing already.

With tight shoulders, Kara followed through the doorway and found herself in a hall that led away from the living room. There was some light from behind her, but otherwise the doors ahead were black rectangular portals into the unknown. Lena was peering into the first room and then continued to the next. Kara checked behind her to see if anyone was following or watching; but it appeared they were alone in the hallway.

There was a loud bang from the living room, followed immediately by a shout and roars of laughter. It distracted Kara for a second, and she kept her attention towards the source, listening. After a few seconds, she felt Lena's hand take hers and tug gently.

Kara trudged where Lena pulled her, but her feet were beginning to feel like weights anchored on a shore. She was definitely getting drunk faster than she'd expected. Through a doorway, then Lena flipped on a lightswitch and Kara cringed.

"That's bright," Lena remarked, scanning around them. It was a simple bedroom without much decor, leading Kara to assume it was probably for guests. Lena found a lamp and turned it on in favor of the overhead light, shrouding the room in a softer, dimmer warmth.

Lena shut the door and then reached for Kara. It felt like her senses were numb and slow; she didn't see the kiss coming until Lena's lips were on hers.

It was fast. Kara was still reacting but Lena was already pulling away.

"Sorry," Lena whispered, "I just…"

"What are you sorry for? Don't be sorry for that."

"Well, I gave you a 'good luck' kiss. And I gave you a 'victory' kiss. But you said we would take this slow, and now I accidentally kissed you but I didn't have a reason."

Kara winked, "Sure you did, that was a 'first party' kiss."

"Oh," Lena's face brightened, "well then, I suppose I also should give you a 'thank you' kiss, for bringing me here?"

"Mm," Kara whispered, moving slowly closer to Lena's lips,"how about a 'you're welcome' kiss after that?"

They were within an inch of each other, warm breath against their cheeks, and Kara realized her beer-free hand was holding Lena's waist. Their eyes met, and Kara read resistance there, as if she were seeing seeds of worry beneath the surface. Lena's expression gave her reason to pull back.

"What is it?" Lena asked, barely above a whisper.

Kara took a long swig of her beer. "Maybe we should do the thing, first. Tell each other, you know."

Lena's green eyes cast to the floor. "Yeah, I think I'd feel better when it's said. Even if it does end up… complicating things."

"A lot." Kara added.

"Beer first?" Lena asked.

Kara didn't bother answering, she started chugging in response. Lena did the same, albeit more politely, and in half a minute they'd both finished their respective drinks.

"Okay," Kara panted, setting her empty cup on a nightstand, "I can do this."

Lena said nothing, her skin appearing a few shades paler than a minute before. She fixated blankly ahead.

"Listen, Lena," Kara said, "I want you to know that I never meant to hurt anyone. And I never expected to meet any people, or form friendships, I mean… I never expected I would meet you."

Lena's brow furrowed at this part of the confession. "Okay… let's just tell each other at the same time? Like we agreed? We'll get this over with and then we can talk about what it means."

Kara burped nervously. "Yeah, good idea. Okay. We'll count to three and then just say it."

They stepped closer so they were a foot apart, staring into each other's eyes. Lena took a deep breath, sighed it out, then started the count.

"Three."

"Three."

"Two."

"Two."

"One."

"One."

"I've only ever been with girls."

"Alex is my brother, I'm a girl."

Silence.

Their words hung in silence.

The last word. Girl. Girls. 

The sameness of it was like glass that might break, delicately teetering over them.

A few more seconds passed, and they both glanced at everything, except each other.

Lena made a sound, like the start of a word, but then it stopped in her throat.

Kara thought of blurting out the whole story, start to finish, explaining why she'd done what she'd done, but she couldn't bear to say any more until she knew how Lena would react.

"You're…" Lena started.

Kara swallowed hard, and the sound felt too loud for the quiet room. Somewhere far in the background, the party kept going.

"I'm sorry." Kara whispered.

Lena's eyes narrowed. "You, it was you. In the kissing booth. That was… you."

"Yes."

"Have I ever met... your brother?"

"No."

Lena nodded, and her lips tightened so much they seemed to disappear. She folded her arms and recoiled, stepping back from Kara and turning sideways toward the wall.

"I'm sorry," Kara repeated, "I didn't know I'd meet you and then when I did, I just felt so bad about Alex not helping with your school project, so I was trying to be a good group partner, but then I started to fall for you, and I couldn't tell you-"

"Why were you doing it? Why did you come to my class, like this?"

Kara sighed. "He asked for my help. He was failing school and he went to England, for his band."

Lena mumbled something incoherent, continuing to stare at the wall.

Kara took a small step forward. "Everything I've said to you is still true. The only lie is how I look, and my name. And how I act around guys, too."

"Good. You act like a real dick around guys."

"That's fair."

Lena shook her head, drawing her arms around her body tighter. "I need some fresh air. I need a few minutes to think and just breathe."

"Sure. Of course." Kara said with a trembling voice. She reached out to open the door, but Lena was already a step ahead; bolting into the hall and disappearing in the darkness.

Kara rubbed her face, groaning into her hands. She knew she was quite drunk, but was feeling momentarily sobered. 

There was another loud holler from outside the guest room, and Kara supposed she ought to return to the party; she still needed to keep an eye on Lena, even if it was from a distance. Taking a deep breath, she stepped out into the hallway. But what she heard next stopped Kara dead in her tracks.

"Hey again, Danvers!" James's voice came from somewhere far away in the house, "Dude, weren't you wearing a different shirt like two minutes ago?"


	14. Chapter 14

Kara stood in the hallway, her hands suspended in the air, as if she were a ninja ready to jump into hiding at the slightest movement.

Of course, she was far too drunk to be a ninja, or even to attempt anything close to ninja-like reflexes.

There were multiple voices in the living room she recognized: Alex. James. Murray. MonEl. And then… Lena.

They were all talking about the game, maybe? Kara could make out the words "scoring" and "balls" so that must be soccer talk.

Or sex talk.

It wouldn't be sex talk, right?

It had to be soccer.

Kara could hear Lena's voice over everyone else and the music. "Wow, you guys are so strong and amazing. How can you be so muscular and great at sports, and just so attractive?"

The guys seemed to be stammering in response. Kara had heard enough. She was going out there. 

She took a few steps toward the end of the hallway, when a short blur of curly dark hair and floral print came whipping around the corner.

"There you are! Get your ass into one of these rooms, now!"

Winn. 

She put her hand on Kara's chest and pushed her backwards, right into the guestroom Kara had departed only a few minutes before.

"Where did you come from?" Kara asked.

Winn slammed the door behind them and started digging through her extra large purse. "I followed your stupid brother here. I knew he would show up, even though he promised me that he wouldn't when I left your place an hour ago. Good thing I'm smarter than he is, and apparently I'm smarter than you, too. You should have known your brother might be here, and come prepared!"

Kara crossed her arms. "Why? This is totally not his scene. He's into bands and hipster shit, not jock parties."

"No, he's a boy. He's into any scene where he looks like a superstar," Winn explained, pulling a few items from her bag, "and 'Alex' scored a game winning goal tonight. He's definitely hoping to milk the attention. Now put these on."

Winn shoved the items from her purse into Kara's arms. Kara eyed them with slow suspicion, realizing it was her Pepper Potts wig and a casual sundress.

"Why am I wearing this?" Kara asked.

"Because the only way to get you out of here without everyone seeing double is for you to be Kara and your stupid brother to take over as Alex."

"But that's not fair, I should get to be Alex tonight."

Their eyes met and Winn stared with a sudden skeptical expression. "Oh, really? Because I think we should get out of here, before you mess this up even more."

"No. This party is mine. I'm the Alex. I mean, I'm that Alex. I'm the game-winning-goal-Alex. I'm the might-date-Lena-Luthor-Alex. I should be killing it at this party with all my new friends and a totally hot genius girl."

Winn shook her head, "Okay, you seem pretty hammered so I'm going to help you out by making this easy. Change your clothes, trust me because I'm always right, the end."

"This is stupid and I don't like it." Kara complained, but she was already beginning to undress.

"Uh huh. Go ahead and vent, just get this over with before someone tries to come in here."

Kara almost fell multiple times while undressing, her balance severely compromised. After a few bobbling minutes, she was able to put on the dress. Winn helped with the wig, then pulled out some basic makeup items to apply them quickly.

"If I'm just leaving, who cares?" Kara grumbled, "No one is going to see my face."

"Because, without makeup, you look exactly like your brother in a dress."

Kara rolled her eyes but continued to hold still for the makeup application. As Winn applied eye shadow, Kara's mind wandered. She thought about Lena and replayed what they had said. She had so many questions about Lena's confession, but they had been too focused on Kara to get to that.

"How much longer are you keeping this thing up?" Winn whispered, "You did fine today, you made your point."

"It was a scrimmage. I need to play like that in a game. I need to know I'll be on the team for sure, as myself."

Winn snapped her compact shut. "Okay, done."

"Thank you." Kara said.

They stayed there for a moment, as if they both had questions.

Winn asked first. "What's going on with you and Lena?"

"We went on a date. We kissed. A lot. But I told her the truth, and she went back to the party."

"Wait, you told her? What did she say?"

"Not much," Kara mumbled, "she said she needed fresh air. Then I ran into you. So that's it, I guess I'll need to wait for her to talk to me."

"Wow," Winn said, shaking her head, "Well at least she isn't going to find out in some other, stupid way."

"Yeah. Maybe I should just go home. Can you drive me?"

Winn reached out and took Kara's hand. "Girl I'll always take you home from a party you don't wanna be at, but I think you wanna give this one a little bit more of a chance, first. Why not just come out there with me and dance, have some fun, see how it goes? If you feel this way after a while, or if she's being rude to you… we'll leave for sure."

Kara nodded, sucking in a breath. "Okay. I can do this."

Winn shoved the "Alex-clothes" into a drawer and they walked out together, arm-in-arm, into the party. 

Not much had changed, though Kara figured she'd been absent at least half an hour between her conversation with Lena and getting dressed with Winn. The first thing that happened when they entered the living room was the cascade of turning heads, one after another, as male eyes focused on the two of them. Kara hated this part of being female.

A few of the guys lit up at the sight of Winn, and Murray rushed over to them.

"Omg Janessa, I'm so pumped you're here!" He blurted out, "Can I bring you a drink? We don't have white wine but-"

"Nah, thanks," Winn said, "I'm the DD, tonight. If you have soda or juice, I'll take that."

As if she'd snapped her fingers and commanded her subjects, Murray sprung into action, bolting toward the kitchen.

"Wow," Kara remarked, "didn't know you were royalty around here."

"Well that's what happens when your best friend sends you to distract a bunch of doofus jocks and you're really amazing and fun."

Kara ignored the jab. "Wanna dance?" She nodded toward the center of the room where no one was standing. Some kind of EDM remix with Sam Smith was playing, and it was the perfect beat for swaying together.

Winn laughed, "Duh. Come on."

She could feel all the eyes stay on them as they joined hands and moved to the large space framed by couches. Winn and Kara kept their hands joined but their hips and feet moved freely, indulging in the dance. Before the next chorus played, guys were joining in and crowding behind both of them, trying to be part of it. Murray pushed through to get a cup of juice to Winn, and seemed like he tried to start a conversation, but she gave a taut smile and turned her back.

Eyeing around and over heads, Kara scanned the room, trying to be discreet. She did a few turns to get a 360 in hope of spotting Lena. She saw plenty of guys that she recognized, such as James, who was staring at them from a corner.

Winn leaned in to say in Kara's ear, "We should get your brother's attention."

Kara followed Winn's focus to her brother and Murray in the kitchen, talking. Alex was holding a shot in one hand and a beer in the other. A few feet behind him was a french door that led to the patio, and Lena was standing in the archway, also watching Alex.

Kara cringed. "You get his attention. I can't go over there."

They both continued dancing for a moment, sneaking glances as the situation unfolded.

One of the guys was trying to talk to Lena, but she wasn't responding. She kept on staring at Alex with a curious and pained expression. A fleeting thought ran through Kara's head, that maybe Lena couldn't tell that Alex wasn't her.

As if reading her mind, Lena's green eyes scanned over the room and trained on Kara.

Waiting. Blinking. Glaring.

Lena studied Kara's face for several seconds, then slowly gazed back at Alex, and then Kara again. It felt as though time slowed down. Kara tried to swallow but her mouth had gone dry.

Lena raised one eyebrow, and her expression shifted from hurt and dismay into newfound challenge and confidence. There was a glimmer of mischief that brought Kara's nervous anxiety to a peak.

Lena stepped closer to Alex, swaying a little in her steps. She stopped at his side, though Alex continued carrying on his conversation with Murray. Slowly, with her eyes still locked on Kara, Lena reached out and stroked Alex's forearm, then slid her hand up to his shoulder.

Alex was turning and saying something to Lena, and Lena's face lit up at him. She giggled, and they both laughed, engaging in some sort of gooey, private moment.

Kara thought she might throw up, or cry; it was hard to interpret the rising feeling in her chest. The instinct to flee was strong, especially as Lena lowered her hand to rub circles on his lower back. Alex had an incredulous grin as he said something to Murray. 

But something was amiss in another corner of the room, drawing Kara's eyes to the distraction. 

"Forget about it, man!" White was pleading. Both his hands were on James's chest, but James roughly knocked them away.

James was homed in on Lena, and Alex, as if nothing else mattered in the room. He was poised with flexed muscles and clenched fists. Kara had seen this body language from him, before. The huffing breaths; the fiery eyes; the ripple of his chest under his shirt. This was rage-James. She knew it from the soccer field and she recognized him, now.

James flashed a warning look at White and stepped past him, receiving no resistance. 

Kara couldn't stand back and watch whatever was about to happen. She sprung into action, barreling across the living room.

James was halfway to the kitchen but Kara beat him there, nudging her oblivious brother.

"Alex." Kara said through gritted teeth, her eyes on James as he charged closer.

"I dunno I guess kicking goals is just second nature, like I could do it in my sleep!" Alex was musing.

"Alex!" Kara shouted.

"Athleticism is genetic, you know?" Alex continued, "And bro, I got the best genes-"

James shoved Alex in the back, pushing him into Murray. Both Murray and Alex's beers splashed out, spilling all over them and presumably, the floor.

"What the fuck, man?" Alex exclaimed, spinning around to engage.

"Yeah!" James shouted, "What the fuck, Alex?"

Kara grabbed her brother's arm to try and pull him aside, but Alex stepped ahead and James did the same, tightening the gap between them.

"You're such a fucking liar,  _ bro, _ " James mocked, "just how fake are you? Do you ever say anything true?"

White was behind James, trying to pull him back and telling him to "let it go".

"I don't know what your problem is, man!" Alex retorted.

James threw up his arm in Kara's direction, pointing behind her. "I thought that was your girlfriend, right? You've been telling all of us that you're with Janessa, but that's just a game isn't it?"

Alex glanced at Kara. His face was pale and blank. He was scared. 

Kara felt Winn step right up behind her, but couldn't look away from the arguing boys.

"Yeah," Alex stammered, "yeah, Janessa is my… well, I mean, we just hooked up the first time-"

"Then what the fuck are you doing with Lena?" James yelled, pounding his fingertip into Alex's chest. 

"Uh…" Alex said, chuckling, "it's a party man, everyone is just having fun."

"Come on, fucker," James taunted, so close his nose bumped Alex's, "let's go, come on. Let's do this."

White tried again to pull James back.

Kara could feel Winn's hands gently grab her arms to discourage her from trying to separate them. It felt like a powder keg sitting beside a fireplace.

But it wasn't White or Kara who stepped in. Two small, pale hands threaded between the guys and respectively pushed them both in the chest.

"Whoa, whoa." Lena said, sliding into the small space between them, "first of all, you're not going to have a fight here, all right? Get your lizard brains to shut up. Second, I'm not property. Neither of you gets to claim me."

James gestured at Alex, "He promised me that he was helping me. He's just been doing that to get with you!"

Lena rolled her eyes, "Well he isn't going to 'get with me', I assure you. So how's that?"

James softened, his shoulders slumping. He took another step back and White patted his arms in encouragement.

"Well," James scoffed, "he's trying, and he shouldn't be."

Alex shrugged, "Hey bro, I didn't do anything. I tried to tell you. I barely know this girl, but she said she was feeling drunk and wanted to hang with me at this party, okay? She's just into me, what can I say? I can't help it if this girl comes up to me-"

"Alex, don't!" Kara warned.

"-some chicks just want this, and I got no control over it, you know how it goes?"

Rage-James reappeared and no one could stop it. With his left arm, he brushed Lena aside like she were nothing. His right arm drew back and broke free of White's subduing grip.

Kara burst forward, her only thought to help Lena. Alex was ducking away. Out of the corner of Kara's eye she saw a large, dark object come flying toward her then BAM!

Something hard and solid connected with the side of Kara's face, knocking her off balance. She tumbled onto Alex, but they both fell together, and the next thing Kara knew she was flat on her back.

"Kara!" A feminine voice screamed.

"Alex!" Screamed another.

"You punched his sister!" A guy's voice shouted.

"You hit Kara, you dickweed!" A guy yelled, this one from across the room somewhere.

Kara was dazed. There was a blur of people around her and above her. Alex was groaning on the ground. Lena and Winn were bending over her from opposite angles, both wearing the same fearful, concerned expressions. 

Out of nowhere, MonEl appeared. Kara saw the blur of his distinct lanky frame come flying into view, then crash into James. The two of them tumbled, sprawling into a heap of gangly limbs that rolled across the kitchen floor. Kara jolted her head up just in time to see them rolling, trying to gain the upper hand, then wrestle right through the french doors.

"Fuck yeah!" Murray yelled, running outside to join them.

A gaggle of boys followed suit, hollering and whooping as they shoved each other in their rush to get outside. The shouting enthusiasm would have been hilarious, if not for the growing ache in Kara's head and her swelling sense of dread.

"Come on, girl," Winn said, sliding her hands under Kara's back and lifting her into a seated position.

"I can't believe he hit you," Lena muttered, "are you all right?"

The last angry guy cleared the door to the backyard and only Alex, Kara, Winn and Lena remained. Kara scooted away from the walkway until her back was against a counter. The others sat in an awkward circle around her on the cold kitchen floor.

"Here," Alex said meekly, grabbing a handful of ice from a nearby drink bucket.

Kara set the ice against her jaw and held it there.

"Are your teeth broken? Is your jaw broken?" Lena asked.

Kara shook her head, "Nah."

"Should I just kill that guy?" Alex asked.

Winn rolled her eyes, "What are you going to do, duck out of his way until his arms fall off and he bleeds out?"

Alex cringed, "Hey my instincts were to avoid the punch. I can't help it if Kara thought she should jump in front of a guy's fist."

Winn scoffed, "He wouldn't have been swinging if you weren't antagonizing him, idiot!"

There was another roar outside, as if a crowd had gathered to attend a UFC match on pay-per-view.

"Kara," Alex muttered, "I don't know how you managed to make so many people love and hate me in just one week."

"She didn't," Lena spoke up, "they love and hate her, not you."

Kara focused on the floor, holding her ice, waiting to hear if Lena would say any more. But there was a moment of silence between the four of them, as if the air was settling with some new revelation that buzzed.

Winn reached over and touched Kara's leg. "You won't be able to keep doing… the thing, with a fat bruise on your face."

"Unless we bruise Alex's face." Kara said, raising an eyebrow at her brother.

Alex chuckled, "You're the one he decked, hitting me won't solve anything."

Kara raised an eyebrow. "Won't it?"

Alex's lips tightened in lieu of response.

"Wanna go home?" Winn asked.

"Yeah." Kara and Lena responded simultaneously.

Winn nodded. "I'll find the phone bucket. Alex? Come help me."

"But I don't-" Alex stopped at the sight of Winn's glare, and he got up to follow her through the house like a forlorn puppy.

There was a long pause between Kara and Lena. The music was still playing, and the guys outside were still fighting, but it was quiet enough to be uncomfortable.

Lena broke the pause. "Why did you tell me?"

Kara stuttered, "Wh-why wouldn't I?"

"Seems like you could have kept it going. Dragged it out until you got something more."

"I didn't want anything more," Kara said, "I only wanted to play soccer. I didn't have anything to gain by lying to you, except to keep my secret long enough."

"So if you'd not scored, and you'd lost today, you would have kept on telling the lie? Until you proved yourself at soccer?"

Kara cringed, "I don't think so. I never planned on doing this more than two weeks, anyway."

Lena nodded. "Do you regret it?"

"I should say yes. But I don't want to lie to you about anything, ever again."

Lena raised one eyebrow in skepticism. She studied Kara's face for a minute, then settled with a satisfied nod. 

"I found them!" Winn called from the entry, "Let's get the fuck out of here."

Kara glanced back at Lena who was already standing and extending a hand to help Kara.

"I really should check you for a concussion," Lena said, pulling Kara up and holding her steady.

"I've had enough of those on the field," Kara replied, "I'm pretty sure this isn't one, thankfully."

Regardless, Lena didn't take her hands away from Kara's shoulders, ensuring she would stay upright all the way through MonEl's house and out to Winn's car. Kara had to admit she was relieved by the small touch, encouraging her that everything might be all right between them, at least eventually.

When they got to the car, Winn handed Kara something to wrap her ice in. She turned it over in her hands, feeling the familiar material, and it dawned on her that this was her "Alex" polo shirt.

She muttered a thanks and slid into the backseat, opposite Lena. As Winn drove, Kara held the ice on her face and stared out the window. Winn and Alex were talking low in the front.

"Hey Kara," Winn said, "do you care if I crash at yours after we drop off Lena?"

"That's fine," Kara answered.

"Cool," Winn said, pulling the car to a stop, "is this the one?"

Kara turned her head to see they were parked in front of Lena's house, and something twitched in her chest.

Lena unbuckled and grabbed her things, "Yeah, thank you. Thanks for everything."

Winn was smiling back and Alex said goodbye. Kara felt like she should say something but her tongue felt trapped in her mouth. All she could do was look in Lena's direction, avoiding her eyes.

Lena opened her door, then stopped with her leg halfway out. "Do you… do you want to come in?"

It took Kara a second to realize Lena was talking to her. Lena was asking her. Asking her, Kara, to come in.

To come in… and stay the night?

Kara didn't have any of her stuff. She didn't have normal clothes, and she certainly didn't have anything to sleep in.

"You don't have to," Lena added.

"Yeah, of course I want to," Kara blurted out. She grabbed the door handle and practically ripped it off yanking the door open. "Thanks Winn. Bye Alex!"

Kara didn't even wait to hear their responses as she exited the car and jogged around it, following Lena up the walkway.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter than most but they had some things that had to be said... Plus I'm such a sucker for the FLUFF

Lena was at her dresser, pulling out sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt. "Do you need any more than this to sleep in?"

Kara shook her head. She stood in the doorway of Lena's room, not quite feeling welcome enough to enter. The bedroom seemed so basic and bare to Kara as if it had recently been moved into and not yet decorated. Then Kara realized: perhaps someone had recently moved out.

"Your roommate," Kara muttered aloud.

Lena was walking across the floor toward Kara, and she stopped, raising an eyebrow. "What about her?"

"I just realized, the ex you told me about…"

"Yeah," Lena shrugged, "Cat. I didn't tell you her gender on purpose. I wasn't trying to hide anything, not really, it's just something I don't tell people. I mean, I'm not 'out', because of my family."

"Of course, I get it."

"What did you want to know?" Lena asked.

"How long ago did you break up?"

Lena bit her lip, "A little more than six months, but, I suppose we'd been drifting apart much longer than that if I'm honest with myself."

"And no one ever knew about your relationship? That must have been really hard."

"Thank you, it was."

There was a pause, then Lena continued. "It's funny, really. I always hoped that I'd be able to fall for a guy. I even tried dating guys, here and there, but… It seemed like if I could feel the same way about a guy that I felt about her, then it would be so easy, for everyone. Then I thought, well maybe I don't need to love him? Maybe I just need to find a guy I was comfortable with. You know, someone like a great friend. Then I'd never have to worry about my family's reaction. So then this past week I thought, 'oh I'm into guys, I'm into this guy!' I totally thought I found one and…" Lena raised her hand to gesture at Kara's body, still in the sundress.

Kara was at a loss for what to say.

"Anyway," Lena sighed, "that isn't your fault. It just turns out I'm  _ so _ gay that I'm only into guys who are actually girls."

Slowly and hesitantly, Kara inched forward, watching for any signs of displeasure in Lena's eyes. But she saw only hurt that demanded soothing, and Kara couldn't ignore the wordless plea.

Kara opened her arms and wrapped them around Lena, who melted into the embrace. Kara rested her cheek on Lena's temple, breathing a deep sigh of relief. She held Lena like that for a few perfect seconds.

"I'm still mad at you," Lena mumbled into Kara's shoulder.

"I deserve that."

"Did you mean it when you said you wouldn't lie to me again?"

"Yes," Kara stated, "I'll never lie to you, if you give me the chance to stay in your life."

"Don't be dramatic." 

Kara wanted to laugh at that, but she kept it in. The hug lasted another few seconds, then Lena pulled back.

"I was going to offer you the pullout couch downstairs but…" Lena smiled, "you could sleep here."

Kara's heart raced. "What do you want?"

Lena's green eyes met Kara's and she lingered there. "I want you to stay with me."

Kara nodded, unwilling to say more, as if it were a spell she might break.

Lena reached out and handed Kara the sweats and t-shirt, then she went into the master bathroom and shut the door. While alone, Kara changed clothes, pleasantly content to breathe in the familiar smell of Lena via her shirt. 

When Lena was done, she handed Kara a toothbrush still in the package. Kara went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She took a minute to stare at herself in the mirror, checking the bruise forming on her cheek. The swelling was going down, at least; it turned out James really didn't hit that hard. 

When Kara came out, Lena was under the blankets, half-sitting in bed. Kara went to the other side and stood.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Kara asked, "I can sleep downstairs if you've changed your mind."

Lena shook her head, then a smirk crossed her lips. "As long as you don't mind if we only sleep?"

Kara returned the smile. "Whatever you're comfortable with."

She slid into the bed and pulled up the blankets. Lena flipped off the light, and Kara laid there thinking through the party again, like she was playing a recap in her mind. She could hear Lena breathing, a few feet away in the dark, and it was relaxing her.

"Are you still going to do it?" Lena whispered.

"Do what?"

"Pretend to be Alex."

Kara paused, giving the thought justice of consideration. "He was supposed to be gone for another week. I'd planned to do this long enough to fix his grades and secure my position on the soccer team. I dunno, maybe I've done that."

Lena shifted, rolling on her side to face Kara. "I don't think you have."

Kara smiled weakly. "I don't know. I'm starting to think… this doesn't matter. Doing this isn't worth messing things up so bad. I don't want to lose anyone that I care about. I did this to help my brother, and after tonight, maybe I'm hurting his reputation. Maybe I'm making things worse for him."

Lena stared; listening to let Kara work through the thoughts aloud.

"I should have been given a chance as myself," Kara continued, "but I never would have been. Girls don't get to try out for the boys' team, and even if they do, they are told they aren't good enough. If I'd been at tryouts as myself? They never would have let me on that team. Do you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I do," Lena said, "and that's exactly why you have to keep going. You have to prove to them that you're not a fluke. If you back out of this now, they'll say that you got lucky. They'll say you just had a good game. They'll say no girl could keep up in a real game, because that was just a… a scrimp?"

"A scrimmage."

"Yeah, a scrimmage. They'll say you weren't good enough to win a real game. You know how it can be when you come along and disrupt things. Women have to fight twice as hard to be seen as good enough, and if you tell them now… I just think it's risky. Do it for the right reasons. But don't give up on this because you're worried about how a few people will think of you."

Kara bit her lip, "What if they find out that you know? Don't you think that will make college uncomfortable for you?"

"Please," Lena scoffed, "my dad funded millions into that school just to guarantee we didn't have to work hard and really earn anything. No matter what I do, college is uncomfortable. I can't be natural with anyone."

Kara nodded slowly.

"Except you, for some reason." Lena whispered.

"Well, I'm glad. I mean, I want you to be yourself. I like yourself."

Lena smiled, "Stop being so sweet. I'm still trying to be mad at you."

"Oh, sorry. How about if I-"

But Kara couldn't finish because Lena captured her lips in a surprise kiss. Kara tensed for a moment, startled, but then softened into the warm comfort. Funnily, Kara felt as if she was almost starting to become accustomed to the unique rhythm of Lena's kisses; as if these kisses were 'right'. In the dark it was easy for Kara to shut off all her other senses and focus on the feeling of Lena's lips, and the scent of Lena's skin.

Lena rested her fingertips against Kara's unbruised cheek, holding her there. They kissed for a minute or two. 

Then Lena inched away and their foreheads rested together.

"I'll help you," Lena whispered, "you need to be on that team. Let me help you."

Kara nodded, feeling heat creep up her cheeks with a rush. 

Lena continued, "Tomorrow we'll come up with something to tell James. I can talk to him. No one is going to keep you from your dream."

"Thank you," Kara whispered.

"Of course," Lena said, giving Kara one more short, soft kiss, "now let's sleep."

"Can I hold you?" Kara whispered.

Lena didn't say a word in response. She rolled over, taking Kara's hand and pulling her close so they were spooned together. Kara listened to Lena's breathing, and focused on the pure warmth radiating between them. It was hard to believe that only one week ago she didn't know Lena Luthor; yet here she was, feeling as if she had everything she needed.

Easily, Kara fell asleep.


End file.
